Page 119 of The Reluctant Wife

It’s been three weeks since I let her walk out of my hospital room. If I said it was easy to do so, I’d be lying. But I let her leave because my instinct told me it was the only way I could forge a future for us.

On the face of it, nothing has changed. She doesn’t physically stay away from me. It's more of a mental and emotional distance she’s put between us. It's there in the way she makes sure not to come too close to me. In how she doesn’t take my hand anymore or makes sure not to meet my eyes directly. In the watchful look in her eyes with which she surveys me when she thinks I'm not watching her…Which is never.Being in the same space as her, there’s no way I'm not aware of her.

I’d have left the hospital a lot earlier, but for the fact she convinced me to stay.

While the cottage I bought was being refurbished, I moved back into her suite, into my old room, the one next to her bedroom.

She gave me a grateful look when I told her about my decision. Clearly, she doesn't want us to sleep together while she thinks through whatever is on her mind. That’s fine. If space is what she wants, I’ll give it to her. What pisses me off is that she’s not sharing whatever is bothering her, and she thought she couldn’t ask me to stay in a different bedroom while she figures things out.

At least, she’s safe. I’m reassured she's safe in her bed every night, even if I spend most of each night in a state of raging arousal.

So what, if I miss her nearness, and her body, but mostly, just being with her. It feels like a very vital part of me is missing. There's a clawing need for her, a gaping Aura-shaped hole in my life which is only filled when I see her. If anything, this enforced distance between us confirms to me that I cannot go back to living life without her. I miss my wife, and I can’t wait for her to realize how much we belong together.

"Thanks for helping identify who’s going to be on the Duchess’ permanent security team." I nod toward Tyler’s face on my phone screen.

"Good, and how’s Smith working out?" he asks.

The discovery of Veronica’s and Gavin’s involvement in the threats on the princess’ life, resulted in a major overhaul of the Royal Security Team. It also resulted in a tacit peace agreement between the king’s Head of Security, and me.

We set aside our differences so we could work together to keep the Royal Family safe. The fact that he was mature enough to push aside his resentment toward me for my muscling in on his role and realize it made more sense for us to combine our forces to do our jobs, made the guy go up in my esteem.

I resumed my role as the head of the Duchess’ security team but acquiesced to Smith taking on more of the day-to-day duties.

Given Aura has asked for time off from her Royal duties while she takes her thinking time, I’ve stepped in on her behalf to help how to invest the Davenport money in Verenza. So, Smith’s help in identifying additional training and tech upgrades for the security team has been welcome.

Tyler scratches at his whiskered chin. He has heavy bags under his eyes and, with his overgrown hair, is a far cry from the shaved and shorn Royal Marine I used to know. That was before his daughter came into his life.

"How’s Serene?" I scan his features. "I take it she’s not sleeping nights?"

"She keeps having nightmares and wakes up screaming. Then, she won’t go to sleep until I’ve crawled into her princess bed with her, which is not exactly long enough for my length." He cracks his neck, then stretches his arms above his head. His joints creak.

"You’re a good dad," I say softly.

He scoffs, "If I were, I’d know how to tie a French braid. Something I’ve been unable to master, despite watching online tutorials." He holds up his thick fingers. "I can load rifles and hit a target at three miles, but braiding my little girl’s hair is beyond my powers."

"You changed your life around for her. You gave up your career in the Marines and work from home so you can keep an eye on her. It’s me who should be apologizing for taking you away from her."

Tyler shakes his head. "She was well taken care of by Summer, and I’m glad I was there for you. Besides, I'd be lying if I didn't say, sometimes it's good to take a break from parenting." He grins.

"You almost died." I squeeze my fingers into a fist. I’m not over the boats being blown up. That moment of my stomach bottoming out when I realized my brother and uncle might bedead, then calling on all of my experience as a Marine to believe that they were veterans who knew how to take care of themselves and focus on saving my wife. "It’s not an experience I want to repeat again."

"Amen." He lowers his chin to his chest. "We underestimated our enemy. But believe me, I’m in no hurry to go anywhere; not as long as I need to take care of my little girl."

He takes in my features. I must look as tired as I feel, for he asks, “Everything okay?" His shrewd gaze doesn’t miss much.

I should have realized I couldn’t hide my current state of mind from my brother. I want to tell him everything is fine, but I have a feeling that’s not going to fly with him.

"Finding me shot and bleeding, and almost dying, was a shock to the Duchess. She needs a little time and space to process it; something I’m trying to give her," I admit.

"Hmm." He purses his lips. "And how do you feel about it?"

"I understand." I drag my fingers through my hair. "If anyone knows how it is to see your friends and platoon-mates get hurt and die, it’s me. Doesn’t mean it makes it easier to see her withdraw from me."

"It’s because she loves you, and it’s difficult to see your loved ones hurt. It makes you realize they’re mortal, and that you’re going to lose them one day. Nothing like seeing someone you care for almost die for your own mortality to hit home," he points out.

"When did you become so wise?"

"That’s what becoming a father does to you. You realize how powerless you truly are, how little control you have over everyday life." He half smiles. "She’ll come around; you just have to be patient."

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