Page 77 of The Reluctant Wife

I bend and kiss Aura hard. “You ready to face the collective?”

38

Aurelia

"I amsonot ready for this," I groan into the phone.

I’m perched on the counter of the bathroom adjoining the guest bedroom at Arthur’s place, which I’m using to tidy my appearance.

I'm delaying leaving by calling Zoey and updating her on the latest developments.

She was, naturally, taken aback by my proposed marriage to Ryot.

"I know better than to talk you out of this, since you’re doing it for your country.” She looks into my features. “It’s not going to stop me from worrying about you."

I look at her gratefully. "You’re an awesome friend, Zoey."

I slide off the counter and walk out of the bathroom. Then, because I’m not ready to head down, I begin to pace. "At least, it’s not Gavin I’m marrying."

If I repeat it enough, I’ll convince myself that it’s the only reason the thought of being married to Ryot fills my heart with excitement.

"Hmm"—she looks at me with a speculative expression—"did something happen between you and Ryot?"

I flush and must look guilty, for her eyes round. "Oh, my god, you slept with him, didn’t you?"

"It’s more accurate to say we slept with each other," I say primly.

"And you enjoyed it, so that’s why the thought of marrying him is appealing to you?"

"You sure you don’t want a second career as a shrink." I laugh.

"I'm an editor; that makes me part psychologist. The number of times I have to calm down authors and help them figure out the reasons for their writer’s block alone qualifies me for that particular role." She chuckles. "But… I have to ask you again, are you sure you want to do this?”

"You mean do I want to let Ryot use the Davenport fortune to rescue Verenza?” I ask only half-sarcastically.

A line appears between her eyebrows. “I mean, do you want to marry Ryot?”

I think about it, then nod. "If I’m being honest, the idea is far from repugnant. Would I prefer that he’s marrying me because he loves me? Yes. But given he’s going to help afford an entire generation of Verenza a future where they don’t have to ration food and are able to access healthcare provided by the state, not to mention the chance to study in state-run schools and take their place on the world stage…” I tilt my head. “It wasn’t a difficult decision, at all.”

She sighs. "I worry that you’re, once again, sacrificing your happiness for the sake of your country."

"Thatisthe meaning of being a princess. It was drilled into us that we need to put our country before our personal happiness, every single time. It is the only way to ensure the continued survival of my family." My voice rises as I warm to my topic.And yes, being married to Ryot is going to be totally awesome, but I’m playing it cool. I don’t want Zoey to guess just how much I’m looking forward to it. I'm not sure why.

Her gaze grows fond. "I admire you."

I scoff, "Now, you sound like Ryot."

Her gaze widens. "He said he admires you?"

"More precisely, my sense of responsibility."

She seems nonplussed. "That’s…unexpected."

I nod. "Right? It takes a secure man to say that. Given his macho persona, I didn’t expect him to have the maturity to recognize the softer emotions men often seem to run from, let alone say them aloud. It's because I compared it to his duty while in the Marines." But then, Ryot has surprised me every step of the way.

"True masculinity is being able to call out your feelings, something most men forget," she agrees.

"For all his strong, silent, almost forbidding exterior, Ryot can be gentle and intuitive in a way that blows my mind." I confess.And other parts of me too.

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