Page 80 of Mine

He chuckles. “We ended up splitting it because you didn’t want me to be hungry at school, though I had a full fridge at home.”

“Which you would have given me anything from.” That’s just how we’ve always been with each other…and maybe with others too.

“Still, you wouldn’t take all my lunch, and you gave yours away. I have a million stories about your big heart, the way you care about others—animals, people. I also remember times I’ve judged people too harshly, and it was you who brought me back to earth and reminded me not to. Idoknow you, Marsh. You’re right. I know the kind of man you are. In my heart, I know there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for JT. That you would lay your life down for him… That you wouldn’t hurt him. I just don’t understand it…”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to understand it. We just want you to accept it, not judge us for something just because it’s different from what you chose. I want to have a relationship with you again, but even more than that, I want you to have one with JT, and I’m telling you, John, if it’s not me, it will be someone else. If you can’t trust him to know who he is and be okay with that person, you’re going to lose him, just like your parents would have lost you if they hadn’t accepted you were going to have a baby and marry Callie at eighteen.”

He nods. Swipes at more of his tears. Takes another drink, and minutes later, says, “Callie’s been talking to me…making me see some things. I’m trying because I love him more than anything in this world, but also because I love you. And I miss you so fucking much. I don’t know how to go the rest of my life without my brother by my side.”

My tears flow freely, John’s too. My chest aches, yet I feel hope for our relationship for the first time since I fell for Jay.“You don’t have to go a second without me being there because I always will be. No matter what. I love you too.”

John is quiet for another moment, then picks up the bottle and pours us each more bourbon. Then he reaches over and sets his hand on my arm. While it’s not perfect, while we still have things to figure out, it’s the start we needed.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

JT

I’ve been spendingthe afternoon looking up local culinary programs. Marshall must be in Asheville by now, and it’s taken everything inside me not to call and check on him. This trip has to be hard on him, and I’m so fucking angry with my parents for the way they’re treating him.

The more I think about it, the more frustrated I get. Why aren’t Dad and Marshall there together right now? Dad acts like I’m childish, like I’m not a proper adult for the choices I make, when really, he’s the one acting like a child.

I shove to my feet and push my phone into my pocket. I’ve avoided my parents, but I’m not doing that anymore. I’m going to force them to understand, if for no other reason than for Marshall. He’s willing to give up the only family he has ever known for me, and while I’m kind of doing the same, I can still have my parents in my life. They’ll take me back, just not him.

I tug open the door and—“Oh.” Mom is standing there with her hand raised, about to knock. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you. I can’t do this anymore, JT. You’re my son. I love you, and I won’t go another moment without you in my life.”

I sigh, step aside, and let her in. “What about Marshall? I won’t do this without him. I don’t understand how I found the one thing that’s ever made me feel truly happy, the one person who loves me and wants the best for me and makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have—a person you both love—and you can’t support it because what? He’s older thanme? How we spend our time in the bedroom? No. I’m not… I can’t…”

“Did we ever make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin?”

“Yes…no…kind of.” I pace around the small living room. “I know neither of you mean it, and I know how much I’m loved, but you’re both so set in your ways, you tend not to accept that other people can be happy, fulfilled, andrightif they make choices different from yours.”

She gasps. Her hand rises to her mouth, and it’s shaking. “We love you and want what’s best for you—”

“But you think you know what’s best for me more than I do. Can’t you see that? You don’t trust me to make the best decisions for me. How do you think it feels that you and Dad don’t think I know my own mind? That you think I can’t make smart, responsible decisions that are right for me? That my choices are wrong and unworthy because they’re not ones you would make?”

“I…” Mom starts. “We never wanted to make you feel like that.”

“Intent doesn’t matter. You did make me feel that way. And as much as you don’t understand it, Marshall completely accepts me for who I am. He makes me feel like that person is okay. He listens and supports my decisions.” I look down. “I love him so much, and I know it’s confusing and came out of the blue, but he’s it for me. And as much as I love you, as much as I miss you—” My voice breaks, but then my pain gives way to anger. “I can’t do this if you aren’t okay with him. He doesn’t deserve to lose you and Dad for loving me. He deserves better, and if you can’t see that, then it’s the two of you who don’t deserve him.”

She walks closer and…smiles? That’s definitely not what I’m expecting here. “You really are in love with him.”

“More than anything.”

She cocks her head, watching me. “You’re different…happier, I think. More confident. That’s not something I ever believed you were lacking before, but you were, weren’t you?”

I nod, surprised she can see all that just by looking at me. “In some ways, yes. Do you really think Marshall would ever do something to hurt me? Something I don’t want?”

Guilt seeps into her expression, her gaze darting down. “I know he wouldn’t. Not our Marsh, and deep down, your father knows it too. But you have to admit this was a lot to take in.”

“That doesn’t excuse your actions.”

“No. You’re right. It doesn’t.” Mom reaches over and grabs my hand. “I love you so much. I’m so proud of you, and I always have been, even when I’ve done a bad job at showing it.” She pulls me with her, and we walk over to the couch and sit down. “When I got pregnant and we decided to keep you, everyone told us it was a mistake, but John and I knew it wasn’t.”

“Just like Marshall and I know what’s between us isn’t one either.”

Mom smiles. “I swore to myself I was going to be the best mom in the world. I would always understand, never push my wants on you. That you would never doubt my love for you, and I would always be by your side… I’ve failed in that recently, but I’m not going to do it anymore. I love you. I trust you, and you couldn’t have picked a better man than Marsh.”

---