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FulfillingDominance: Good boy. Thank you for being so honest. What you said does make sense. We all want to be seen, to find people who know those secret parts of us and who share those parts of us as well. You made me proud. I like very much what you had to say. I want you to focus on that when you go to bed tonight. Focus on the fact that you were a good boy and made me happy. Are you free tomorrow evening to meet online and speak again? How about at eight o’clock?

Satisfaction makes my skin prickle, makes my pulse dance erratically. I made himproud, and that’s already the best feeling. It’s comforting, soothing a near constant ache inside me.

I have to go to a barbecue at my parents’ house tomorrow, so speaking to Sir will probably be exactly what I need. Why is it so hard to be around loving parents who would do anything for me? I don’t know why I struggle with it as much as I do because I know how lucky I truly am. Still, it’s hard and always leaves me feeling raw.

CravingMore: Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir. I appreciate what you said, and I’ll meet you online tomorrow night at eight.

FulfillingDominance: And?

And what? I run through what he said again before the answer comes to me.

CravingMore: And I’ll focus on what you said. I’ll think about the fact that I made you proud.

FulfillingDominance: Good boy. Sleep well.

CravingMore: You too.

I go to bed with a smile on my face and sleep better than I have in years.

CHAPTER TWO

Marshall

It’s Saturday morning,and John and I meet up to play pickleball.

I’ve only been back in North Carolina for a few months, but enjoying this game twice a month is something we’ve already fallen into the habit of doing. I’d been playing in San Francisco, where I’d moved for college and had stayed after I’d graduated, and John had been playing out here.

Despite the distance over the years, we’ve stayed close friends. He is and always will be my family, and I’m the same for him. We’ve gone on vacations and spent holidays together. John, Callie, and JT had come to the Bay Area on several occasions, and I’d shown them around. We’d also taken trips down to LA and Disneyland and the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It’s nice to be close to them again, and I’ll always be thankful that despite how different we are, nothing will ever come between John and me.

“You ready, old man?” he calls from the other side of the net. It’s the start of our third game, each of us having won one.

“You call me that as if you’re not seven weeks older than me,” I toss back.

“Lies!” John teases, then serves the ball. It comes flying over, and I have to run to get to it and swat it back. We volley it back and forth before John misses, and I throw my hands up in the air.

“One to zero!”

“I let you have that one.”

“Lies!” I lob back as we continue the game. I’m sweaty, heart thudding and muscles tired, when it’s finally over and I have, in fact, won.

We head over to a bench and collapse onto it together.

“Damn, we’re getting old.” John wipes his face with his towel, and I do the same. I’ve kept in good shape. I mostly eat well and exercise because I like how I feel when I’m done. I enjoy physical exertion and pushing myself, but I also have to admit he’s right.

“Fuck yes, we are. Why are we doing that?”

He quirks a brow. “Because it’s better than the alternative?”

I chuckle. “I guess you’re right.”

John laughs, then nudges my shoulder with his. “Have I told you how good it is to have my brother home?” There’s nothing but sincerity to his words. John isn’t the kind of guy to blow smoke up someone’s ass. If he says something, he means it.

I wrap an arm around his shoulder, pull him close, and press a kiss to his forehead. “It’s good to be back, brother.”

“We’re having a barbecue at the house today. You should come over. One of Callie’s friends will be there, and JT is coming.”

There was a time in the beginning when John and Callie used to try and set me up with friends of theirs—both men and women. They don’t understand that people can be happy alone, that not all of us need a spouse and to live that heteronormative lifestyle. I’ve never wanted kids, and quite frankly, I’ve never wanted a committed relationship either. A long-term sub? Yes. Love and forever? No. It’s just not who I am, but if it ever happened, I wouldn’t run from it either. That’s also not who I am. And tangled into that, entwined in my DNA, is the kink. It’s nonnegotiable for me, just like I can’t permanently change my eye color.

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