Page 23 of Mine

My fingers twitch with the desire to spank him. “JT…” I take a quick glance down the hallway, but we’re still alone. As far as I know, there’s no one in the house but us.

“You haven’t been online again,” he says.

I sigh. No, I haven’t, which has been killing me. “Now isn’t the time for this.” I work my way around him and into the bathroom.

“When is?”

“Never. We can’t… It was a mistake.” The words stick in my mouth. It felt like the opposite of a mistake.

“It wasn’t one for me. All it’s done is make me want this more, hammered home that this is exactly what I want…what I need. It doesn’t feel the same with any of the other men I’ve been talking to.”

Heat races through me, hot and fierce. It shouldn’t. JT has the right to talk to anyone he wants, but I don’t want him to. I don’t want him to kneel and obey anyone else. Not until I work this out of my system.

“You need to move so I can close the door,” I force myself to say.

“No.” He crosses his arms. “You’re the one who’s acting like the child here. We’re grown-ass adults. If we want to fuck, we can fuck.”

“Jesus.” I grab his arm and pull him into the bathroom with me, closing and then locking the door.

JT smirks. “This feels familiar…only I’m not freaking out this time.”

“Then what is that slight tremor in your voice?” It’s soft but there. He might not want to be nervous or unsure, but he is.

“Okay, I mean, I can’t pretend this isn’t a strange situation. You’re like my un—”

“Don’t say it. You’ve never actually called me that before, so let’s not blur the lines by saying it now.”

JT sighs, takes a few deep breaths, then slowly begins to kneel.

“What are you doing?”

He’s on his knees, with his hands resting on his thighs, head down. “I don’t know. I didn’t plan this, but seeing you… I want it, Marsh. I need it. Talking with you… I can’t get it out of my head. It’s like I’m starving, and you gave me a bite, made me even hungrier, and now food is dangled right out of my reach. I want it, and I want it with you.”

My legs nearly give out, my limbs trembling, his words teasing the starving beast inside me too. I should walk out of this bathroom right now, should leave Raleigh and head back to California. But what I say is “Look up, sweet boy.”

The tension in JT’s shoulders releases, and he raises his head and looks me in the eyes. “Yes, Sir.”

“You’ve been having a hard time?” I ask, though I know the answer.

“Yes. I met up with a guy… It didn’t help.”

My jaw tightens, vision going blurry. The thought of anyone else touching him without my permission makes me want to rage. “What happened?”

“What? You want—”

“Tell me.”

“I, um, went to his house. He flogged me, and I blew him, but it wasn’t right. I couldn’t get in the headspace…couldn’t get into it.”

“Did he force you?”

“No. He was kind, but I know I didn’t give him what he needed, and he sure as shit didn’t give me what I needed. I don’t understand why it’s different with you, but it is. I’m not saying I’m in love with you. I just know that you can satisfy this part of me. ThatFulfillingDominancecan, and now that I’ve beenteased with the possibility, not having it is like this constant ache inside me.”

How can I deny him when he says things like that? Especially when walking away is the last thing I want to do. I’ve had this persistent, never-ebbing buzz under my skin ever since we started talking. Seeing him on his knees for me right now dulls the edges, but it’s not nearly enough. “You’re not going to give this up, are you?”

“No, Sir. It’s just sex. My parents don’t need to know.”

“Jesus.” I run a hand through my hair, feeling my resolve slip. At least if he’s playing with me, I’ll know he’ll be safe. I won’t hurt JT in ways other than the ones we both want.

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