Page 18 of His Reluctant Savior

He tossed back the rest of his bourbon and poured himself another before coming to stand in front of me. “Now, I’m going to tell you some things. I need you to put away that Boy-Scout-cop brain of yours, Reed. Telling you these things will not only put me at risk, but it will put you at risk, too… more than we already are. Is that understood?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”

“I mean it.”

“Yes, you have my word. I will try to be… open-minded about this.”

“I don’t need you fucking open-minded, Dalt. I need to be sure you won’t use it against me legally. You have enough people who want you dead.”

I paused at his words, but nodded again. It was time to trust. It could also be used as leverage. Sid wanted to give me something that could be used against him before I handed over my only source of protection.

“I swear,” I said.

My lips still tingle and burn a little where Dalton bit me. Hell, the memory of his blood on my tongue is visceral. I’m starving for more of him like some damn vampire. As I drive home, my fingers touch my swollen mouth. Why did he kiss me back?

That look he gave me and him telling me he’d date boys for the right person… Could he really have meant me? Does that mean he’s willing to give me a chance? Why? I want it to be true. I’m desperate for it.

I’veresented him for so long, filled with jealousy, and not trusting his perfection. Now, I view him so differently, and for the first time, I want a different life. No. I’ve always wanted a different life, but now, I actually want to do something about it. My obsession with him makes me want to do better so I can have him and call him mine, but I don’t know how. I’m fucking trapped, and I don’t see a way out. I’ve made plans to leave, but I can’t yet.

God, I’ve suffered for so long, used by my criminal uncle—who is also my guardian—for years. My life has been consumed by fear and being gaslighted. I’ve been fucking helpless for too damn long.

My parents were murdered when I was around five, and I’ve lived with my uncle since then. I never learned who took their lives and probably never would. My uncle, my father’s brother, is all I’ve got left of my family, along with the crime syndicate he’s a part of. But he belongs to them, not me. They would never protect me against him. That right there is what holds me back the most.

“I won’t tell you which crime syndicate, Boy Scout. While I want to trust you, you’re still a cop at heart, and you’ll want to research them to see what you can dig up. While I no longer have loyalties to them, they let me leave alive… barely, but they could’ve killed me. And theywillkill us both if they learn I’ve betrayed them to the Feds. Despite who and what they are, they also saved my life, so I’m not going to turn them in.”

I looked at Dalton, who was lost in thought, no doubt wondering who I could’ve possibly worked for all those years ago.

“Get it out of your head,” I insisted. “You’ll never know.”

“I’m just wondering. I gave you my word, Sid. Besides, organized crime isn’t my area of expertise.”

I eyed him for amoment and nodded, then took a sip of my drink and continued with my story.

I sit in my truck, parked in front of my house. It’s a nice house. My uncle makes enough money to allow us to live comfortably in Vienna. But I learned at a young age that money doesn’t buy happiness or keep you safe when you lack power or money. It’s used as a tool to control those who have nothing—a dangling carrot just out of reach.

I’m reluctant to go into the house. A part of me wants to run, to just keep driving until everyone but Dalton is away from me. He’s strangely become a new light at the end of a pitch-black tunnel.

I can’t remember a time when I’ve been filled with so much anxiety and so many emotions. I’ve been dead inside for so long. It helped me survive my uncle, but it’s not sustainable.

After I finally climb out of my truck, I walk into the house. It’s dark inside, and I breathe a sigh of relief that he’s sleeping. I sneak upstairs and go into my bathroom for a quick shower because I hate to go to bed unclean. I ignore the little thought that it’s a habit my uncle instilled in me at a very young age.

I crawl underneath my cool sheets and close my eyes, trying to come up with ways to get out of here and not have my uncle hunt me down. He has too many resources and an entire gang to find me. He’s made that loud and clear over the years, and it isn’t a lie, either. I’ve met them often enough. Those men are dangerous.

I don’t know when I fall asleep, but I wake up to the familiar pricking sting in my neck and the wave of dizziness that soon hits. My mind is slow and tries to clear, but the drug doesn’t let me. I tryto struggle and get away, but my uncle has me face forward in my bed, and he’s on top of me.

“Shhh, you’re fine, Sid,” he whispers and kisses my head. “You understand, I’ve got to subdue you. You’re getting too big and strong. If you wouldn’t fight me, I wouldn’t need to drug you, sweetheart.”

His words are muffled as I try to comprehend what he’s saying while my mind screams at me to run, but I can’t. I’m so tired of this, but I also know it’s easier to give in.

Uncle Duane started drugging me when I was fifteen after I fought back. The drug keeps me immobile, but aware, and I feel fucking everything. He needs me to feel it.

My tears soak my pillow underneath me as I think of Dalton, of all people, realizing I’ll never be able to have him. Not with my uncle controlling my mind and body, which he’s been doing since I was ten. My uncle has made sure there is nowhere for me to run to and no one to turn to. I’m alone in my suffering.

I’m only in my underwear, so he yanks those off. At least he takes the time to open me up with lube instead of just shoving it in there. Still, he’s not gentle.

I shut my leaking eyes to the burning.

My uncle is a rapist, yet he tells me he loves me. I know he’s a liar. I’ve never believed him. It’s just gaslighting and manipulation. I’ve always known what he does to me is wrong.

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