Page 34 of Rope Me In

“For the last time, I don’t want your help.”

“That may be the case, but you need it. We can all see that you need it. I don’t know what triggered you after your doctor’s appointment, but whatever caused this setback, we can figure it out. We can help you get back to where you were.”

I want to laugh in his face. My family is more oblivious than I thought. They really didn’t notice how miserable I was the last three months? How much I’ve been pretending to be okay while I really wasn’t? How hard the anniversary of Dad’s death hit me?

They say they care about me, but do they really? It sure as hell doesn’t feel like it.

I let out a low chuckle. “You know, Gav, I was thinking for a bit that maybe you weren’t such a selfish asshole, that I got you all wrong.” He looks confused, but I continue. “But once again, you proved to me that you are.”

“Kade, for Christ’s sake, please stop trying to turn this on me. We aren’t talking about me.”

“Because we’re never talking about you! You can just lie and then think everything has been fixed because Blake figured out a way to save the day and you said sorry. Life doesn’t fucking work like that. Blake may be able to forgive you, but I can’t.”

“I thought you had! Where is this coming from, Kade?” he begs.

I want to scream at him and ask him why he’s so dense. I don’t want to be helped by my family or Blake—or anyone, for that matter. I want my family to really listen, to fucking ask themselves why I’m so upset. I want Gavin to make things right. I want Dad to come back from the dead to explain to me why he did the things that he did.

But I stay silent.

I stare out at the pasture. The sun is gone, though there’s enough dusky light to see the horses. Must be nice to be completely unaware of the drama that just unfolded between me and my brother, the one who keeps staring at the side of my head, his eyes like lasers.

After a minute of charged silence, he exhales a long, tense breath. “That’s it, then? You’re not going to talk anymore?”

I don’t turn to answer. I don’t even blink.

“Do you want me to give up, Kade? Because I will. I’ll give up.”

My insides roll at his words. Gavin isn’t one to give up on anything. He never has been. But the tone in his voice isn’t one I’ve heard before, either. Still, I stay quiet.

“I’ll leave you be, Kade. But so help me god, if you use Blake’s brother to hurt her again or explode on Momma, I’m done. And if you have any decent bone left in your body, you’ll put your stupid pride down and apologize to them.”

I hear his words. While I know he’s right, I think I’m done, too.

Gavin stands there a minute longer, and I can practically hear his silent plea for me to say something, to tell him I’m sorry and to not give up on me. But that’s not going to happen. For the first time, a part of me wants to just get in my truck and drive away. I don’t know where I’d go, but I feel like I’m suffocating. This land, my home has never felt like this before—and I don’t fucking like it.

Gavin exhales again, and the floor creaks as he walks away—but not before he gets in some last words. “Be good, Kade. And never forget that I love you. We all do.”

The sound of his footsteps fade into the night, and I’m left alone with my thoughts. The overwhelming feeling of regret washes over me as I reach for my flask, the cool metal on my fingers as Gavin’s words replay in my mind.

Be good, Kade.

Fuck being good.

Chapter 12

Presley

Why are people awakethis early? That’s what I want to know. The sun hasn’t risen yet, and the roosters aren’t even awake.

I turn my head to look at the digital clock on the small nightstand next to the twin bed. I have about ten more minutes till I need to be at the barn to meet Kade for chores at five-thirty am sharp like he so nicely “requested.”

Last night, as I was falling asleep and questioning my life choices, I almost decided to just get in my car and leave. After the adrenaline and bravery wore off, I had to ask myself why I needed to show Kade I could do this work. It’s not like I have anything to prove to him. But there’s just something about this cowboy that makes me want to show him that he’s wrong about me. Had he been Derek, I would’ve just admitted defeat before I even tried.

I chalked up my desire to stay to the fact that I have nowhere else to go. Maybe Nashville, but I’d run out of my money even faster there, not to mention the much stronger possibility that I’d run into Derek or someone I know—which I’m not ready for. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that.

I tie my hair into a ponytail and look down at my attire, jeans and a men’s T-shirt with an MTV Spring Break logo from the ‘90s on it that I bought from a thrift store.

I let out a breath, and my lips flap comically. I need to put on some clothes that make me feel more like me eventually. I’llprobably have to go for a night out to another town to wear them so I don’t stick out even more.

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