Page 5 of You Float My Boat

The thing I hated most of all, though, was the way my heart was now thumping and my dick twitching. Like neither of them remembered what she’d done. Or maybe my dick did, and that’s why he suddenly wanted to give her his full attention. Even worse, the way she knew what was happening because the second her eyes landed on mine, I knew she was in here looking for me, and from the slow, sly curve of her lip she knew I knew.

I’d all but forgotten exactly why I was in the Blue Oar on a snowy Wednesday afternoon in January until a large unidentified lump collapsed into my lap. Unless it was the asteroid I’d just been praying for.

Except asteroids didn’t kiss.

The taste of the Pinot I’d bought Violet was still fresh on her tongue as it slowly slid against mine, licking me with as much heat as the flames next to us. I was so shocked I did nothing to stop it. What’s more, I didn’t want to stop it, especially when she moaned softly because then all I could think about was how perfectly her arse fitted into my lap, and how I likedthe way her fingers were pushing into my hair. My dick definitely liked it.

‘Come on, babe. I’ve had enough of being out of bed, let’s go back,’ she whispered against my lips, and my brain short-circuited.

The diamond-bright twinkle in her eyes didn’t explain what had just happened, but I found my fingers were twisting around the violet ends of her hair nonetheless, as her lips fell onto mine again.

I was beginning to question my sanity and my memory when a small, deliberate cough to my left reminded me exactly what was happening and why.

Violet’s body twisted in my lap as she peered up at our intruder. ‘Can I help you?’

Evie replied with a smile that didn’t stretch to her eyes, ‘No, you can’t. I saw Charlie and came to say hello, I’m an old friend.’

Violet turned to me, a genuine smile beaming across her face, in total contrast to the mask my face had frozen into. I couldn’t find the words to explain what was happening, I didn’t know why Violet was smiling. Maybe she didn’t realize she was in the presence of evil. But then her head turned back to Evie.

‘Are you sure? He doesn’t seem to knowyou.’

Evie ignored Violet, her eyes boring into me like lasers. ‘Charlie?’

Violet looked at me again trying to ascertain whether I was in fact going to say hello – I wasn’t – then flicked back to Evie. ‘Strange, I’ve known Charlie a very long time, and I’ve never heard of you.’

But Evie wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attentionto anything Violet said. ‘Charlie … are you really going to ignore me?’

Violet shifted on my lap, and I felt her draw in a breath.

‘It would seem that way, wouldn’t it? Old friend or not, you should try and frown less, it won’t help that line you have right there.’ She reached out and prodded Evie’s impeccably smooth forehead. ‘I can recommend some good cream if you’d like,’ Violet continued sweetly, ‘but you probably need to get Botox on that before it gets worse.’

My eyes widened so much they burned. For the first time ever, Evie Waters was speechless.

Violet eased off my lap, and the air cooled along my thighs giving me some respite from her body. I was still in too much of a state of shock to find it amusing at how she towered over Evie. In the same haphazard manner as she removed them, Violet pulled on her jumper, hat, and scarf. It was the Muppet green coat contrasting with Evie’s signature black which jolted me back to myself as I stood, only too happy to follow Violet’s lead.

I picked up my pint and drained it, addressing Evie for the first time in over two years. ‘Would you like our table? We’re going home now.’

My fingers laced with Violet’s as we walked out of the pub, leaving Evie in exactly the same spot. The bitter adrenaline coursing through my veins was soon replaced by a level of satisfaction I’d never felt before.

‘Fuck.’ It was the only word I could manage. It didn’t even occur to me to ask how Violet knew who Evie was.

‘I think I totally nailed the role of your girlfriend, evenif I do say so myself,’ Violet giggled as we walked into the cold and the doors shut behind us, putting a much-needed barrier between Evie and me. She pushed her hand in the pocket of my jeans like it belonged there, and looked at me, ‘Come on, you can walk me back to St Anne’s, but you need to put your arm around me. We have to make everyone believe this if you want her to.’

I did as instructed; walking side by side with Violet whose head was now resting on my shoulder. I hadn’t been entirely sure using her as my girlfriend would convince anyone, let alone Evie, but all my doubts had been melted away by her award-winning acting skills.

This would work perfectly.

Now I just needed to figure out how to tell Brooks I’d been making out with his sister. With tongues.

2. Violet:

(And there he was just walking down the street …)

‘Violet, if we don’t get a move on, we’re going to be late.’

I added a final coating of mascara and turned around to find my best friend, Stella, lying on my bed, flicking through this month’sVogue, not in the least bit concerned about whether we were going to be late.

‘You’re not ready either.’

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