Page 83 of Oar Than Friends

The coaster tower was still intact, so that couldn’t be it. I picked up my pint, and waited.

I’d drunk half of it before Brooks turned to me, ‘Did you know about this?’

‘About what?’ I wiped away the foam of beer from my top lip, my head flicking between the pair of them.

‘The Evie situation,’ Charlie muttered.

I nodded, and turned back to Brooks, ‘Oh yeah, Charlie mentioned it a while ago but I’ve not heard …’ I turned to Charlie, ‘What’s the latest? Did you get her moved off?’

His head dropped with a sorrowful shake. ‘Nope. I’ve tried. Really fucking tried.’

‘What’s the Evie situation?’ Brooks snapped, glaring at Charlie again. ‘I’m talking about Violet.’

My glass stopped halfway to my lips, once again moving my gaze from Charlie to Brooks, who was looking distinctly less glary and more confused than anything. Hiding my grin with a large sip, I nodded and sat up straighter, suddenly pulled out of my sulk by what was about tounfold. I’d totally forgotten about Charlie’s asinine plan to have Brooks’ sister, Violet, be his fake girlfriend. Except Charlie had clearly forgotten to fill Brooks in onwhyhe wanted Violet.

I put my glass down, taking sudden pity on Charlie. Maybe because I was falling in love with Kate, and now couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have to be around her if she’d gone off with some other guy.

Even the thought of her with someone else had my knuckles whitening, and I had to calm myself with a deep breath before I went full-on Hulk. I turned back to the task at hand.

‘Do you know about Evie joining his philosophy class?’

Brooks’ face dropped just like mine had; the annoyance vanished as his arms uncrossed, and rested on the table. ‘No fucking way! You’re kidding! How’s that happened?’

Charlie picked up his pint and took a long gulp, trying to act like this situation didn’t have him tied up in one of the stress balls he kept littered about the house. ‘Because my luck sucks.’

‘Anyway,’ I held my hand up to interrupt, ‘obviously no good can come from this. Charlie and I thought that if he had someone pretending to be his girlfriend it would keep Evie away from him. Deter her from being her usual pain in the arse, that kind of thing. Stop Charlie from making a mistake. And we,’ I gestured between us, as I tried to implore Brooks’ empathy with my nonexistent powers of telepathy, ‘were thinking Violet might fit the bill.’

Brooks picked up a coaster and began tapping the corners along the table until they’d all flattened. ‘Okay, let meget this straight, you want my sister to pretend to be your girlfriend so that Evie will leave you alone next term?’

‘Yes, exactly,’ Charlie sighed. It was clear he didn’t want to be explaining this situation any more than he wanted to be in it. ‘And I need you to give me her number so I can ask her.’

Brooks pushed up his baseball cap and scratched through his hair. Charlie and I waited as he replaced it, then leaned back in his chair.

‘Sure, go for it.’

‘You don’t mind?’

‘Course I don’t, but I doubt she’ll agree to it. But if she does you need to be prepared for what you’re letting yourself in for.’

‘What? Why?’

‘You’ve met her. She lives to be a pain in the arse, tornados are less destructive. Between her and Evie I’m not sure who’s the lesser evil.’

‘No one’s as evil as Evie,’ Charlie grumbled, though his eyes widened in a way that made me wonder if he was having second thoughts.

‘I’m telling you, she won’t do it.’

‘Then you don’t mind me asking.’ Charlie pushed his phone across the table towards Brooks, who picked it up, and begrudgingly punched in her number.

‘Don’t come crying to me when it goes tits up.’

My shoulders were still shaking from the laughter I was trying to hide when my phone buzzed with a video call coming through. I left them to their staring contest and ran outside to answer it.

‘Hey babe, how’s the most beautiful American I’ve ever met?’

Her gruff giggle rang around my chest. ‘I’m good, how was your class?’

‘Better when it ended,’ I grinned. ‘I got a First on my paper, though.’

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