Page 54 of The Baller

What is it about those words?

I need to tell you something.

We need to talk.

Sit down.

Immediately, my heart thudded hard, fluttering a little terrified beat against my ribcage, as images of the last time someone spoke those words to me flooded my brain, the time they’d been followed by,Radley, there are pictures…

“What?”

“You know it’s my mom’s birthday next weekend?”

I nodded. The fluttering became less fluttery, though I couldn’t figure out what her mom’s birthday had to do with me, beyond the card and flowers I’d ordered for her.

“She told me last night that she wants to go away for the weekend. Are you okay with that? If I go, will you be okay here?”

I took me a minute to realize she was worrying about leaving me on my own, and she was not about to tell me my life was going to implode again. It was both sweet and made me sound completely pathetic. Annoyance and irritation had my jaw clenching hard, and the happiness I’d felt this morning melted away due to the hot ball of frustration and tears now lodged in my throat.

“Jesus, Millie! Don’t do that to me! I thought you were going to tell me someone died. Of course you can go away. You don’t need to ask, and I don’t need a babysitter. And you don’t have to pretend you are one,” I snapped.

“I know I’m not your babysitter, Rad, but I also know how things have been for you, and I know it’s hard. I don’t want to be gone for four nights if it means you don’t leave the dorm.”

I swallowed the panic rising up at the thought of four nights alone. Four days alone. My mom would love to have me back in D.C., but I couldn’t go only for my parents to find out that it was because Millie had gone away with her mom.

No. There’s no way I was going back. I could do four nights on my own. Actually, the nights were easy… due to being asleep and all. It was the days I’d need to occupy myself outside of the dorm. I mean, I had a lot of work to do. I could easily work for four days solid in the library. That counted for being outside, right?

Yes, of course it did.

“Millie, I’ll be fine. Thank you for worrying, but please don’t.” I hated people worrying about me. I didn’t need anyone to worry about me. “You know I’ll be fine. Pledges have finished, frat boys have disappeared. It’ll be good.”

“Okay…” she said with narrowed eyes, “if you’re sure. And don’t forget it’s Halloween.”

“What? You want me to go trick or treating too?” I grumbled.

“No. I don’t think you’ll go out… but I’m sure there’s a party or two if you change your mind. Delaney was talking about one.”

“Millie, I’ll be fine. You don’t need to act as my social secretary,” I repeated with a smile, trying my hardest not to let the frustration show. “Thank you, though.”

I was fine. I was going to be fine.

“And Lux will be around, right?”

My cheeks bulged from the size of the pancake I’d just forked into my mouth, so large because I figured I wouldn’t have to answer any more questions about being fine on my own. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop the smile bursting across my face.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Millie smiled and peered at me over the top of her coffee cup, “and I’d also like to take this opportunity to say I’m in favor of what he’s doing to you. Though obviously I need to meet him to give final approval.”

Spluttering through my final chew, I rinsed it all down with a gulp of coffee. “What does that mean? He’s not doing anything to me.”

She raised an eyebrow and circled her drink in my direction. “I meant your whole aura. You’re more relaxed, you’re sleeping better, you’re running, and you’re fine with being alone for four days. You’re becomingyouagain, Radley. I know you’ve been working hard to get back to this point, but I also think that a certain center field for a team we won’t mention is also helping.”

“Oh,” I replied, while my cheeks reddened. There’s no way I didn’t look like a tomato.

“Now let’s talk about what he’snotdoing, and what you want him to do. Has he kissed you yet? Please say no, because if he has and you haven’t told me, I’m gonna be mad.”

I shook my head with a grin that came out of nowhere. “Nope.”

“Phew.” She wiped a hand across her brow so dramatically she could have a one-woman show on Broadway. “Do you want him to?”

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