Page 130 of The Baller

“Mom?”

“Sweetheart, my beautiful Radley girl, I’m so sorry.” She stepped off her stool, her warm hands cupped my cheeks, and I inhaled her scent; the scent of my childhood. “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, because ultimately, if I wasn’t your mom, it wouldn’t have happened. You’ve been dealt this card, because of the job I’ve chosen to take. And now I’m putting all my fears on you.”

I placed my hands on hers still resting on my cheeks. “Mom, it’s not your fault. I’ve never thought it was your fault.”

A soft smile slanted her lips, though the sadness still remained. “And it wasn’t your fault, either, my sweet girl, but it doesn’t stop me wanting to protect you. It doesn’t stop the Secret Service from wanting to protect you.”

I eased out of her grip and turned away. My coffee was sitting there untouched, but it was still warm. It hadn’t cooled to the point it could be considered cold brew.

I wasn’t sure why my mom had driven – or whatever she’d done – to get here under the cloak of secrecy, only to have the exact same conversation we’d had yesterday. It seemed like a total waste of time when she should probably be saving the world or something, especially as she’d be talking to herself.

Because I had no plans to go throughthatagain.

For one, my muscles couldn’t take it. Jake had worked me so hard this morning that by the time I’d finished, I couldn’t remember why I’d been so angry, or what I was trying to kill him for.

But my mom wasn’t done.

“You know, when you were a little girl, you used to follow your brothers everywhere. Didn’t matter where they went or what they were doing, you’d follow. If we were at home, you’d go and find one of them in their room and sit while they played, or you’d read books together. Sometimes I’d find the three of you in your bedroom, and you’d turned your bunkbed into a fort, and the boys were trying to convince you to parachute off, or something else ridiculous and dangerous.” She looked over, a memory-filled smile growing on her face. “I don’t know how you didn’t break something. But then the boys moved into high school; Benny was playing sports, and all Henry talked about was the debate team. Remember he tried to start a debate over everything?” she laughed. “God, it was exhausting.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I remember.”

“It was around then that I noticed you didn’t hang out with the boys so much. Millie was at our place most days after school, but it was afterwards when she went home that you always seemed a little quiet and lost.”

“I wasn’t lost, Mom, I just didn’t want to hang out with the boys. They were gross and stinky. Dad was away all the time, and I wanted to be at home with you. I wanted to read,” I smiled. “That’s all.”

“They were really gross and stinky, weren’t they?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

“I was away a lot too, right as you started getting older,” she started quietly. “And because you were never as outgoing as your brothers, I think I’ve mistaken you for being someone you weren’t. All these years I’ve thought you needed protecting because you were quiet, but I’m starting to think that your quietness is your strength.”

As she’d been talking, she’d moved closer until she stood right in front of me. Close enough that she could peel away a sweaty strand of hair stuck to my cheek, tuck it behind my ear, and straighten the clover on its chain.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I should have come after you yesterday. I’m sorry that I let you walk out. I think Columbia’s brought out a side of you I haven’t seen before. That, and that very tall boyfriend of yours.”

I chuckled and stepped away from her arms, standing on my own two feet. “I don’t want extra security, Mom. I don’t need it. I need my freedom. I’ve gotten used to Jake’s team being around, and I’m working with it. I’m making new friends. I can’t have more people trailing me.”

She gave one single nod. “Okay.”

“What?” I asked, wondering if maybe I’d heard wrong, because even though she’d been professing my inner strength or whatever, she had never been so easily persuaded.

“Okay,” she repeated. “You can keep the team as it is.”

“Really?”

“Yes…” she paused, one finger in the air. “But if Christopher Ellington comes anywhere near you a second time, then you’ll be back home with a tutor for the rest of your schooling.”

I wasn’t about to make that deal, but pulled her into a massive hug nonetheless. “Thank you, Mom.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled her mom smile again, and kissed my cheek. “Now, can you catch me up on your New York life before I have to go back?”

“Sure.”

She dropped her arm over my shoulder and led me over to the couch, taking in the giant T.V., the basketball hoop on the wall, the baseball bats stored in an old can by the door, sneakers discarded on the floor… “So, a baseball player, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s as much a surprise to me as it is to you, too.”

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