Page 94 of The Shake Off

I nodded silently, peering at them over the rim of my coffee mug as I sipped it. Now I understood why these two had so much attitude today. The Mets lost last night against The Orioles, and dropped below The Lions in the standings.

The bagel Matty had in his hand was making me hungry, and I debated on whether I had time to run out for one, but it seemed we weren’t done talking about Ace.

Oh goody.

“Yeah, he was benched for a week,” continued Tyler. “Everyone thought he had the yips, but I’m starting to think it was nothing more than a rumor put out by The Lions. No one comes back from the yips like that, and he’s had a quick recovery.”

“Why would they put that rumor out?” Mia asked, though she’d already gone back to her work, and I couldn’t tell whether she really cared about the answer or if she was trying to fuck with the boys.

He shrugged in the way the answer should be obvious, but beats me if it was, and Mia seemed to share my opinion.

“It had to be his shoulder. There must have been a muscle or something, and he just needed to rest it,” said Matty.

“Nah, it’s not rest. They’ve injected him with something. No one makes catches like that without a little performance enhancer.”

“What does that mean?” I asked, and I didn’t like the line this conversation was going.

“The guy had Velcro hands last night.”

“Whatever, Watson’ll get caught on the next round of testing, anyway. He’ll go back to being the average pitcher he is. He was mediocre at the Yankees, he’s mediocre now. Shepherd paid way too much for him.”

I was starting to get annoyed with these two. I’d certainly had enough of their opinions about Ace for one day, especially as they were dead wrong. For the first time ever, I could contribute to a baseball conversation; I hadn’t even realized I’d been paying that much attention to what Ace said, as my focus was usually on what his fingers, tongue, or dick was doing. But if these two were going to talk shit about him, the least I could do was make sure they got his stats correct.

“Actually, guys, even with the blip at the beginning the season, Ace has already matched his ERA from last season. If you take out the two weeks he was benched, then his average drops to nearer two-point-seven. If you take Spring Training into consideration, then it drops again. He’s had a few 1-2-3 innings over the last two games, and since he’s been back starting, The Lions haven’t lost.”

I racked my brains to see if that was everything I remembered… oh, wait.

“After last night, The Lions are now five up on The Mets in the National League, so maybe Penn Shepherd knew what he was doing with his money.” Yep, that was everything, and I picked up my coffee.

The bagel Matty was about to bite down on stopped halfway to his lips. “You’re a Lions’ fan?”

I shrugged. “They’re okay.”

Tyler scoffed, scowled at me, stood up and walked away without saying another word. Matty opened his laptop and went back to his bagel, also without another word, but then seemed to think better of it. He gathered everything up in his hands and followed Tyler to wherever he’d stormed off to.

“Something I said?” I grinned at Mia as she peered around our screens.

“Now that was funny. All they do all day is talk about The Mets. I didn’t realize you were a big baseball fan, but maybe I could get on board with sports if you do that again,” she grinned. “Anyway, I need the bathroom. Meet you in the editorial meeting?”

“Yeah,” I replied quietly, letting out a big breath as she walked off.

I watched until she was out of sight, wondering when I’d become a baseball fan, or if I’d simply become an Ace Watson fan.

And whether I really wanted to know the answer.

EIGHTEEN

ACE

Itook the Sharpie Boobs McGee was holding out.

“Hey, Ace.”

“Hey, how’re you doin’?”

I tried not to breathe in the scent of her cinnamon gum as I scrawled my name across the ball she was holding directly in front of her very ample chest. There was literally nowhere else my eyes could go except to her tits. I’m surprised she didn’t ask me to sign them too, something that happened way more than it ever should.

In fact, signing tits shouldneverhappen.

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