Page 129 of The Shake Off

“What do you want, Penn? Shouldn’t you be at the stadium?”

He shook his head. “The game doesn’t start for an hour.”

Right. I knew that, because I’d planned to be there to see Ace make the first pitch. But Penn was usually at the stadium way before the game started, because he liked to watch the crowds fill the seats and soak up the atmosphere.

And today promised to be a big game.

It was the final in the Phillies series at home. It would be the first time Ace had pitched against them since Opening Day when he’d tanked. It was currently one game each in the series, and Ace would be starting for the final game. Even without talking to him, I knew this would be important.

I knew what it meant.

We’d come full-circle since that first game. So much had happened, so much had passed between us, and neither of us were the same people we’d been two months ago.

Two months ago, I would have been content to never see him again.

Now I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

I didn’t want to.

Hopefully I wouldn’t have to.

I’d watched reruns of the Cubs game he started on Monday, and the Yankees game he’d pitched the day we’d broken up, and both times he appeared perfectly calm. He pitched better and better. Even when he sat on the bench during his rest period and the camera zoomed in as he watched the play, he looked perfectly calm, like nothing had ever happened.

He hadn’t relied on me at all.

He hadn’t been lying when he said his game was fixed, but of the two of us, I was the liar.

He’d never lied.

My eyes flicked back to Penn’s, because I still wasn’t clear exactly why he was standing in the middle of my apartment. I wasn’t sure he’d ever been here.

I assumed he wanted to apologize, but apologizing was an entirely alien concept to Penn, so maybe he needed a prompter.

“You want to tell me why you’re here then?”

“Yes.” He cleared his throat, like he was about to deliver a great speech. “I came to apologize, and not because Lowe told me to. I wanted to come anyway, and I didn’t know how to go about it and remain alive at the same time.” His lip twitched, testing the waters to see if I’d laugh too, but I was still waiting for the apology. “I’m so sorry, Payton. I said some awful things to you, and I shouldn’t have. It’s none of my business who you date or how you choose to date, even if it is one of my players, and I’m so sorry if I made you feel anything less than the amazing woman you are.”

He stopped talking, his face tense as he waited for my reaction.

My eyes widened. “Jeez, Penn. Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t you?”

“I think it can be thicker!” called Kit from the kitchen where she was trimming the stems off the roses.

Penn’s fists clenched and his nostrils flared through a deep breath, but he didn’t argue. “Payton, you are a valued part of my life,” he looked to Lowe, “ofourlife. I couldn’t imagine you not being in it, and I hope that you can forgive me enough to stay in it. I’m really very, truly sorry for what I said.”

Penn’s mouth held in a hard line, his eyes looking nervous enough that he wasn’t sure what my answer would be.

My shoulders dropped with a sigh. “Thank you for apologizing. I was planning to tell you to go fuck yourself today, so you’ve saved me a trip. I forgive you.”

Penn’s eyes flared, right before he burst out laughing. “Oh, thank God. I am sorry, Payton. I am.”

“I know.”

He thumbed behind him, in the direction of Kit. “Can you call off your Rottweiler now?”

“Sure,” I chuckled, “once you’ve helped me with something, please.”

“I’ll help you with anything.”

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