Page 84 of The Third Baseman

Jupiter curled my hair through his fingers. “Marn, if you change your mind between now and tonight, it’s okay. We can always watch a movie.”

I grazed the edge of his shirt; his breath catching as my fingertips brushed his solid abs. “I’m not going to change my mind.”

“Fuck, you’re killing me.” His lips lingered on mine for as long as he dared before the hall monitor forced us to separate. “Then I’m going to make tonight as incredible as you are. I’ll see you later, Stars and Stripes.”

I didn’t turn around after I took off down the hall; I needed to bury myself in work for the next five hours so there was no time for the nerves to set in.

* * *

I’d never thought about how I’d lose my virginity until I met Jupiter. And since then, or since the time he asked me to be his girlfriend, I’d read twenty-four separate articles in Cosmo on their best sex tips, and binge watched three seasons of Gossip Girl on DVD, plus the compilations of Chuck and Blair sex scenes on YouTube.

I’d always been a good student, but neither Cosmo nor Gossip Girl had told me about the butterflies, about the desperate fluttering like they were to trying escape. They also didn’t say anything about how you should spend your time waiting for your boyfriend to arrive.

I’d stood up, I’d sat down. I’d taken a bath, because apparently it would help me relax.

It didn’t.

I was more nervous than when I’d sent in my M.I.T. application.

I hadn’t been sure what to wear, so I stuck to my usual sleep shorts and tank top; but kept it plain. Tiny hearts and clouds wasn’t exactly sexy and mature. I didn’t need Cosmo to tell me that.

I was trying hard not to have a panic attack when a quiet rapping at the window had me spinning round to find the boy next door standing there with the cutest smile on his face.

My boy next door with the smile I loved.

And when I saw what he was wearing, I relaxed measurably. I even let out a little laughter – shorts and t-shirt; we’d both gotten the memo.

I eased up the window. He climbed in and stopped on the spot he landed. The air shifted immediately, becoming thicker, heavier, like a vacuum was being sealed around us.

“Hey, Star,” he murmured, his dimple popping.

“Hey.”

“You okay?”

I nodded, but my hands were twisting into knots.

“Marn…” Three large strides and I was in his arms. He smelled fresh from the shower; musky and sweet entwined together – just like him. He tipped my chin up so he could look at me. “We’re not doing anything tonight that you’re not comfortable with, okay? Say the word. I’ve got some movies in my bag…” he nodded over to where he’d dropped it on the floor.

“Oh yeah, what’ve you got?”

“The Hangover to start.” He grinned sheepishly and pulled a face; because he was always trying to me laugh, make me comfortable, relaxed.

But I was. Entirely comfortable. I trusted him unconditionally.

And I wanted this more than anything.

“I’m fine; just… go easy on me. I don’t have the same experience you do.”

We’d never openly discussed it, but in the same way he knew I was a virgin, I knew he wasn’t.

“Star…” with the way he slowly brushed his thumbs back and forth along my jaw, he may as well have been laced in Valium; I took a deep breath as his eyes searched my face. “Let’s take it step by step, and then we don’t have to think about it. Does it help if I tell you I’m just as nervous?”

There wasn’t an ounce of a lie on his face, even if he was only saying it for my benefit, “You are?”

When his thumbs halted on my cheek, I could almost feel his hands shaking, “Yes, I want this to be perfect for you, and I’ve never had a night like this either. I showered three times because I couldn’t stop sweating.”

He stuck his tongue out to the side, pulling a silly face with the one goal of making me laugh. His head dipped, catching my giggle, and he kissed me long and slow. My body melted into him and I wondered if he could taste my toothpaste as he explored my mouth. It was warm and soft, like always, but he kept on, not letting me up for air because he knew exactly what he was doing; turning me into a puddle until I swear I could feel him seeping into my bones. It was the balm I needed for the last of my nerves.

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