Page 70 of The Third Baseman

“Beulah…”

“What?” She lifted her palms defensively. “I’m just saying. He was flirting with you, and he was cute.”

“He was a college kid. He can’t have been older than twenty-two.” I took a big gulp of coffee, coughing at the temperature scalding my throat.

She smacked me on the back until I stopped then put her arm around my shoulders. “Let’s go boxing and you can tell me about this frustration you need to get out. I’m assuming it’s big and covered in tattoos?”

I nodded with a sigh.

“What’s happened?”

“He sent me a telescope.”

“Ohh… kay…” she drew out the word as she dropped her arm so we could let a couple pass between us. “And that’s bad?”

“No. But in this case, a car would have been cheaper. And you don’t just send someone a car, do you?”

“A car? What kind of telescope is this?”

I shrugged. “One to remind me we’re connected, that we have a past, that we once meant something to each other. It’s another way for him to manipulate me, like he did for me to come here. But all I remember is him leaving me on the doorstep with a broken heart that took years to mend.”

She put her arm round me again and squeezed. “But you’ve been spending time together. Has that helped?”

I sighed even deeper. “Yeah, it’s been good, it’s helped. But we’re spending time together because he somehow convinced Jesus Rodriguez – who thinks I’m a waste of time, by the way – that he alone should be helping me.”

Beulah chuckled quietly. “The boy’s tenacious, I’ll give him that.”

“Right! And I can’t think around him or have time to think about what I want, because he’s always there telling me what I want! Telling me we’re supposed to be together. Telling me I belong to him. In reality I don’t know him well enough, not anymore.”

We both sipped our coffees and walked in silence for a dozen paces before Beulah broke it. “That’s hard. I met Rafe, my fiancé, at college, and we hated each other. It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t really hate him, and that we were supposed to be together. Perhaps it took longer than it needed to because of our past.”

“I’ve made peace with the fact I’m in New York because of him, and if I really want to admit it, I’m enjoying myself. Penn’s been taking me seriously; he’s so enthusiastic that it’s hard not to love it. It might be too early to tell whether I’m making a difference, but the team has won the last five away games.”

I met Beulah’s raised palm for a high-five.

“You’re doing an awesome job.”

I smiled, thinking that perhaps I might succeed in this made-up role after all. “Thanks, but it doesn’t change the fact that I thought I was going to work on my newly resurfaced broken heart by myself, and the guy that broke it in the first place is here. It’s hard and confusing. And overwhelming,” I added, after a beat.

“Yeah, and I can’t imagine Jupiter’s helping with that.”

I threw my hands in the air too enthusiastically and my coffee sloshed out, thankfully missing my clothes. “Exactly! He thinks he can click his fingers and everything is forgotten and forgiven. That he can send me boxes of LifeSavers, or bring me coffee, or have a seventy-five thousand dollar telescope delivered to me, and it’s all okay.”

I turned as she gasped. “Seventy-five grand?”

I nodded deep. “Yep. But you know what the real kicker is? He won’t apologize. He says he’s not sorry for bringing me here.”

“Oh, Marnie.” She stopped walking suddenly, and I turned to see her standing a step behind me. “You know what?! We need a girls’ night. You need a little fun. You just got divorced. Forget about Jupiter for the moment, and do what you want to do.”

Yes! Do what I want to do… which should be so simple. It sounds so simple, but when your head’s a mess and you’ve been consumed by one person since the day you met him, it’s hard to separate it out.

To know exactly what you want. I didn’t have time to think about it then either.

“We’re here! Let’s sweat it out.”

I peered up at the non-descript brick building. In fact, on closer inspection, it wasn’t nondescript, and discounting the neon flashing four leaf clover which read O’Malley’s Boxing Gym, it looked like a building site.

“Here?”

---