Page 137 of The Third Baseman

She reached out and touched her hand to mine, but I wasn’t done.

“It was easier than I thought it would be. The M.I.T. School of Engineering is where you want to go if a baseball player breaks your heart. Science nerds do not compare,” I laughed dryly. “The past month, I’ve been falling back in love with him. There was no way I could stop it, but he’s been buying houses, and telescopes, and a boxes of LifeSavers, and planning our future, while I’ve been lying awake too scared to sleep in case he decided the next morning that he was done with me again. I’ve been trying to protect myself…” I laughed through my words, because I was done with beating myself up. “Turns out, I was the cause in the first place.”

Emerson looked at me like I was a little crazy. Maybe I was, because over the last three days I’d realized something that I probably should have realized a long time ago… especially as a scientist.

I couldn’t control the future; I could only control my choices.

And I choose Jupiter.

“It wasn’t easy on him either you know.” The eggs sizzled as Emerson poured them into the hot pan. “The weeks after the draft, he was a mess. It’s the first time I remember him really crying… like not from a ball smashing into his face or something, really hard sobbing. I heard him one night and didn’t know what to do. He was my big brother, but for two weeks, he only left his room to eat or train.”

I blinked. My heart skipped a beat. He’d told me over and over that our breakup had been hard on him too, but to hear it from someone else really helped it sink in. “Really?”

“Yes. And this time I didn’t realize anything was wrong until I watched the game last night. The only time he plays that badly is when it’s to do with you.” She frowned at me. “Why are you smiling?”

“Because I watched the game, too. He did play badly, didn’t he?”

She narrowed her eyes as she scraped the eggs onto the plates I’d laid out. I poured out two cups of coffee, pushing one over to her.

“So tell me why you’re okay, and you look like you’ve slept for a week. The other day you looked tired… hot, but tired,” she added with a grin.

“Because I have. I’ve almost slept solidly, but I also had sleep to make up for.”

She stared, waiting for the real answer.

“Jupiter stormed out the other night and told me to figure out what I wanted my future to look like, but I already knew. I wanted my future to beourfuture; I’ve never not wanted that. I was just scared of it all blowing up; scared of him leaving me on the doorstep again… Except when he did, I expected it to be a thousand times worse than it was.” I took a massive bite of my toast and eggs. Sleeping had almost given me a bigger appetite than sex. “Understanding that I was partly responsible for our breakup lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, and when I finally stopped crying, I slept. And sleeping really helps you think clearly.”

She pursed her lips as I winked at her.

But it was true; I’d made an excuse to Penn about not traveling because of the shirts, but instead of working, I’d slept. I’d slept for three days, and healed my heart.

And I felt fucking fantastic, like I could take on the world.

Or at the very least, Jupiter’s army of female fans.

Emerson picked up her coffee and sipped. “Have you spoken to him?”

I shook my head. “No, not yet. I wanted to see him in person, and he’s been away. But I’m going to the game today.”

“What are you going to do?”

I chewed on my lip. It was probably best to have at least one person’s opinion. I put my dirty plate in the sink and ran to get the Fed-Ex box.

I placed it in front of Emerson with a nod. “Open it.”

Her brows dropped a little as she ripped the tape off, then pulled out the contents and held it up.

“Oh my God.”

I cringed. “I know. It’s lame.”

She stared at me, her eyes wide again. Eyes so similar to Jupiter’s my chest suddenly ached from how much I’d missed him, how badly I wanted to see him, and I had to concentrate hard on not crying,

“Are you kidding? It’s perfect! He’s going to lose his shit!”

“You think?” I asked as I rolled my lips. “Lowe’s putting it on the Jumbotron, so you’ll see if you watch.”

“Oh, I’m definitely watching. I’m coming tonight.”

---