Page 122 of The Show

I rolled my lips, and nodded.

“Thank you, Penn. I mean it. I owe you big time.”

“Just win me a trophy, and we’ll call it even.”

“Deal,” he laughed, though I could tell his mind was already on Marnie and seeing her again.

Rosa came in and cleared my plate, along with our empty bottles. “Can I get you anything else?”

I shook my head, suddenly overcome with tiredness. “No, thanks. I need to head off, and Jupe here needs to get to bed.”

Rosa gave him a look that said she’d be more than happy to tuck him in.

“What happened to your girl?” Jupiter asked quietly, and my brows dropped in question because I’d never mentioned Lowe to him. “You know, the one you were talking about when you said you knew what it meant to have someone intrinsically ingrained in your life.”

My temple throbbed like it had been doing all day, like it did every time I’d thought of Lowe and the mess we were in. Or I was in. Or I’d put us in.

I never should have kissed her.

My heart was hurting, and I only had myself to blame.

“She’s… we’re… she’s in New York. We’re taking some time apart…” I pressed my thumbs into my eye sockets to stop the burning. “I think I got too ahead of myself, for what we could be. I’ve loved her for so long and had this fantasy of us spending the rest of our lives together, but she won’t tell her family about us, and I don’t know how to control my feelings around her anymore. I don’t know what to do.”

I could feel Jupiter’s eyes on me, boring through me, but I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to see the sadness weighing me down when I should have been on top of the moon because I’d signed him to my team.

“Don’t give up on her, man. If you love her, don’t give up on her. It’ll eat you alive and you’ll be no better off. Stick with her, even if no one knows. It won’t be forever, but I’m telling you now, if you love her and you leave then you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

I stood up, not wanting to talk about Lowe. I definitely didn’t want to cry in front of Jupiter, but if he kept talking like this then it was likely I would, and no one wants to see their new boss bawling like a baby.

“We’ll see.” I shoved my hands into my pockets. “You gonna walk me out then?”

“Yeah, come on, boss.”

I huffed out a hearty laugh and we walked side by side to the front door. Just before I got into the car, Jupiter grabbed me into a thick, solid hug, coupled with a hard slap on my back.

“Thank you for everything, Shepherd,” he said, “Guess I’ll see you in New York.”

“I guess you will,” I grinned.

I’d achieved the almost impossible. Years and years of hounding Jupiter to come to New York, coupled with years and years of rejection, was finally over. I had succeeded… Yet I drove back to my sister’s place feeling empty.

More and more empty with every mile the car ate up.

Even if the one person I wanted to tell about Jupiter wasn’t fast asleep in her bed, and even though I hadn’t replied to her stream of text messages, the fact she hadn’t sent me another since seven thirty this evening only made me feel worse.

Like my heart had been flattened.

Two and a half weeks had passed since I’d last driven along this road - right before I’d kissed Lowe for the first time. Then, everything had been simple because I knew exactly where I stood with her. But it was before I’d tasted her, experienced her, felt her.

Before I’d fallen in love with her all over again. Harder. So much harder than I ever thought possible.

So much had happened since, and happened so fast. The question was, did I want it to go back to then? Back to a time when I could barely speak, a time when I only stole glances at her? A time when my heart was so heavy with wanting her it exhausted me.

Could I even do that?

I knew the answer before I even finished the sentence.

No. Not in a million years. And the reality was I’d spend the next few days licking my wounds before I returned and gave her exactly what she wanted, just like Jupiter had told me to. Because I wasn’t going to give up, and if she wasn’t ready to tell her family, then I’d wait until she was.

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