Page 16 of The Secret

“And do you have a boyfriend?”

Freddie jerked sideways from the force of Wolfie’s nudge following her question, but they both stared at me waiting for an answer.

“No, no I don’t. But don’t worry; my personal life and professional lives aren’t mixed. I don’t invite my friends over, even when I’m live-in.”

“Oh, that’s not…” Freddie earned herself another nudge.

“That’s good to know, we appreciate your honesty,” Wolfie interrupted. “Anyway, we’ll let you go and get Marcia to connect you with our nannies. We’d really love for you to come and join our families, and we’ll help get you whatever you need for your moving situation.”

I smiled gratefully. “That’s very kind, thank you.”

They hung up and I was left staring at the phone, wondering how I’d managed to get railroaded into looking after a newborn and a single dad, when an hour ago I was worrying about sorting out my eviction.

Payton sauntered into the kitchen, perching on the stool next to me. “Wow, baby on the doorstep.”

I glanced up at her. “I know, right? That’s heavy shit.”

Her head bobbed slowly in agreement. “You’re taking it, aren’t you?”

“Honestly?” I held her gaze. “They had me at movers. Plus, it’s sixteen weeks with a newborn, it’ll be easy, and then I can search for a proper job.”

She jumped off the stool.

“Great, now that’s settled, we can start drinking again.”

4

Murray

“Has she got a name yet?” Penn slunk into the kitchen, sitting down at the breakfast counter next to me, sunglasses still on, and considering it was raining outside only meant he was hungover.

I wished I was hungover. I wished I had a hangover so bad my brain felt like it would never be whole again; that I could only manage to function when I had sunglasses and a bottle of electrolytes.

Because anything would be better than this.

Better than the zombie state of semi-conscious limbo I was currently living in; the foggy, grey area between asleep and awake.

For the past five days, my mornings had all started the same - with an ear-piercing, shrieking cry that wrenched me out of wherever I’d managed to find a place to close my eyes for the briefest of moments since the last time she’d been awake. In fact, in the past five days, I think I’d slept a total of seven hours.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could manage. Right now, if sleeping were an Olympic sport, I’d bring home gold for England. Or America.

No wonder they used sleep deprivation as a form of torture. My blood pressure must have shot through the roof, and I was so hopped up on caffeine that I could almost feel my heartbeat in the very ends of all my extremities.

My body couldn’t decide what temperature to be.

I shook my head. “No, not yet.”

I could barely think in any direction, let alone straight, and definitely not enough to come up with a suitable name for my daughter, because the results were in. They’d come back three days ago, making it official.

I was a father.

My mum walked into the kitchen with a loud tut, having heard our brief conversation, before hugging Penn.

As Wolfie predicted, they were on the next plane out as soon as she’d spoken to them. They’d arrived less than thirty-six hours after the baby had made an appearance, and as all parents do when faced with a crisis of any magnitude involving one of their children, they’d jumped into action and I couldn’t be more grateful. But I was determined to do the heavy lifting, which meant the baby was sleeping in my room – in a bassinet – so I could give her a bottle during the night when she woke up. She’d already been abandoned by her mother, I wasn’t about to start palming her off on other people.

I’d live up to my responsibility, even if I did need all the help I could get.

My apartment was now filled with every baby contraption under the sun. One half of my kitchen was covered in baby bottles, formula, sterilizing machines, teats, burping cloths, and bibs. And more things that I didn’t even know existed until five days ago.

---