Page 61 of The Secret

I turned to find her leaning back against the counter finishing the last drop of her wine. “Thank you, Murray. It was all delicious. I should probably head to bed for a bit of sleep before Bell wakes for her midnight feed. Next time, I’ll cook.”

I draped the damp tea towel over the oven rail, torn between wanting her to stay and not coming on too strong. I settled for the latter. “I’ll hold you to that. Sleep well, Kit.”

Next time. I wasn’t about to fixate on those words because therewasgoing to be a next time. And one after that. And one after that.

I’d never met anyone I’d wanted aone after thatwith. And this wasn’t about Bell. I knew it as well as I not only knew my heart, mind, and dick, but also my own soul.

If Bell wasn’t here, I’d still want her.

I hadn’t been looking for her, but somehow I’d found her.

And now I was going to show her I’d be worth wanting, too.

11

Kit

Bell squeezed hard on the rubber giraffe I’d handed her while I waited for her bottle to cool, the high pitched squeaking causing Barclay to get up from lying underneath the bouncer on the table and move to his bed in the corner. The air was still chilly as I opened the patio doors, but the sky was blue and cloudless, and the flower boxes which lined the length of the enormous outdoor terrace were already well in bloom. The trees lining Central Park were getting thicker with new leaves, and I could just make out the buds of blossoms coming through. It was going to be a beautiful spring day.

Murray strode into the kitchen, momentarily stealing my breath because whenever he was in a suit, his hotness topped the Scoville scale, most certainly qualifying him for five flame emojis. The hotness scale was in direct contrast to my disappointment scale, because his suit meant he had a meeting today and I hadn’t realized, hoping instead he’d be around so we could go for a walk together.

It had been three days since ouralmost kiss.

I’d spent the first day doing my best impression of a ball-bearing in a pinball machine, ricocheting between wishing I could have experienced the feel of his lips on mine, knowing I’d missed out on the type of kiss that wouldn’t just curl your toes, it would melt you like a candle until you were nothing but a pile of hot dripping wax, and knowing how bad an idea it was. Coupled with the fact that he’d left before I’d seen him that morning, reducing me to a ball of anxiety and one of those girls that second guesses every single minute we’d been together, analyzing it so thoroughly I could now most certainly moonlight as a Freud expert in any court of law.

I was then abruptly yanked out of the spiral I’d spent the day in, when the fun, teasing Murray I’d come to look forward to every morning returned later that day, with the most delicious array of foods for dinner, all because he hadn’t been sure what I’d like.

Now it was day three, and I was still no closer to figuring out if something was happening between us. It wasn't, and the almost kiss had not been mentioned, but it also wasn'tnot, because his attentiveness and insistence we spend time together while he peppered me with questions had notched up several degrees.

“Earth to Kit…” he waved at me.

I jolted out of the trance I’d locked myself in, which happened far more than it ought to whenever he was around. If I could moonlight as Freud, Murray could moonlight as Derren Brown.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Your coffee.” He pointed at a mug on the counter with his own as he sipped. I’d been staring so long he’d had time to finish making them. “I haven’t filled it quite to the level you usually do, so you should be able to lift it without spilling it everywhere.”

My cheeks warmed as they always did at his teasing, and the fact that he’d noticed how I never managed to gauge the coffee and milk ratio. Good job he took his black and the coffee machine did all the work, because otherwise I’d be in trouble.

“Thank you.”

His eyes crinkled in amusement as he drank.

“You have a meeting today?” I tried to keep the tone in my voice as casual as possible.

“I do.” His coffee cup went down on the counter, all without breaking eye contact. “But I’ll be back early afternoon, and the guys are coming over.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

He leaned over Bell, grabbing her feet and kissing them. My ovaries still hadn’t grown back since that first week, and I still hadn’t gotten any closer to being used to seeing them together. He was so fucking adorable; adorable with a capital A. For someone who became a dad overnight with no forewarning, he was a natural. “What are you girls going to do?”

“Just the usual, go and hang out in the park, take Barclay for a walk. Payton is coming over to join us.”

“Sounds like fun, I’m jealous.” He slid back the crisp white double cuff of his shirt, his gold cufflinks catching the glare of the sun, looking at his watch. “I have to shoot off.” He picked Bell out of her bouncer, kissing her cheek. “Bye, little girl. Be good.”

Since Sunday, I’d been counting how long he held my gaze before speaking. Right now as he handed Bell to me, it was four seconds. And each one heated my body until my internal thermostat hit max.

“You too, Columbia. Be good.” His wink took me to feverish levels. “Call me if you need anything though. Or just want to give me a play by play, I enjoy those.”

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