Page 54 of The Secret

“Jeez, it was a joke.”

“Am I laughing?”

“No, because you clearly lost your sense of humor when you lost your balls. If this is what happens when you fall in love, then count me out.”

I hadn’t lost my sense of humor, but nothing was funny about this hell I was in. I also wasn’t about to acknowledge his ‘falling in love’ comment, because even though it wasn’t true, saying it out loud made it too real for comfort. They stopped talking and watched me as I stood up, because I always thought better when I stood up, and I really needed to think.

“Okay, time out. You,” I pointed to Penn, “stop being a dickhead. You,” I turned on Rafe, “stop being a lawyer. And help me!”

“I’ve told you what I think as your best friend. But, dude, if you want to start something, you need a new contract which she has to agree to before anything happens. Right now, if things don’t go well, it opens you up and I can’t in all good conscience advise that - especially as it would cause me a shit-load of paperwork if nothing else.”

“I think you should just fuck her.”

My eyes rolled to the ceiling while my self-appointed angel and devil continued arguing on the couch. Maybe I should just talk to myself, I’d get better advice.

“This isn’t helping. You know what, it’s my fault. I’ve not had sex in months, I’m exhausted and so I’m clearly lacking the proper function I need to make sensible decisions.”

“Okay.” Penn stood up, placed his hands on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. We’re here and we’ll help now.”

I sighed with relief at the sincerity in his eyes. “Thank you. Rafe, this contract… Can you just tear it up?”

He looked at me like Penn would have done if I’d declared I hated baseball. “No, I can’t just tear it up, not without her knowledge, or without mentioning that it’s a monumentally stupid idea. She still works for you and she still needs an NDA. You’re thinking with your dick again.”

I linked my hands behind my head. “Fuck, why’s this so hard?”

“Dude, you’ve never been interested in anyone. Whether you want to admit it or not, Bell is a factor. You know you can be a single dad, right? You don’t need to find a wife just because you have a baby.”

My mind stopped whirring as I turned to him. “What? This isn’t that.”

“Okay, just checking.”

“This is all Wolf and Franks fault. I should have just let Joanie organize a nanny.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “Stop being such a drama queen. Kit seems like a sensible girl, if she likes you as well, then it shouldn’t be a problem. But I think you need to figure out first if you actually likeher,and not just because of Bell.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Just figure out what you actually want, then we can decide on how to approach it. So maybe don’t say anything to her yet because she’s still supposed to be living with you for a few months.”

He had a point. It wasn’t just me at stake. I was no longer the sole factor of my decisions. Bell was my priority, and the first consideration.

“Seduce her without her knowledge,” Penn added.

I blinked, checking I’d heard properly. “What?”

“You know, make it harder for her to say no when the time comes.”

I looked between the two of them. “That sounds massively dubious.”

“No, idiot. I mean act like a boyfriend would act, but do it subtly. Show her how you’d be as a boyfriend. Win her over. Then when the time comes that you’ve actually figured out what you want, she’ll fall into your arms like you’re a Disney prince.”

My face screwed up, as did Rafe’s, and I assumed it was because we were both trying to figure out what the fuck Disney had to do with it.

Rafe got there before I did.

“What Pennington is trying to say is spend time together outside of Bell. Get to know her and let her get to know you. Maybe do something nice for her while you’re at it.”

“That is literally what I just said. Act like a boyfriend.”

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