Page 40 of The Secret

“It’s only a matter of time…” Rafe called after me as I walked off, causing the entire restaurant to stare more than they already were.

* * *

I grabbed a beer from the fridge, picked up today’s New York Times and headed back into the playroom where Bell was on her mat, gurgling up at the little ducks flying above her on the mobile. I sat down next to Barclay, who was on the floor as close as he could possibly get to the baby, relishing in the fact I’d survived my first afternoon of just the two of us.

I hadn’t needed to call anyone for help.

And I’d kept to Bell’s schedule. She’d had two naps and two bottles, and we were both still alive to tell the tale.

I’d graduatedSumma Cum Laudefrom Harvard; ran a very successful investment fund making enormous amounts of money for people, and was, miraculously, still on speaking terms with my family.

But surviving the day as a single father? That felt like a real achievement.

For the first time it dawned on me that maybe,maybe,I could actually do this without fucking things up.

I opened up the paper until I found the crossword, scanning through the clues, writing the answers to the ones I knew instinctively.

“Okay, Bells, what’s this one?” I looked down at her. “‘Of Mans First Disobedience, and the Fruit Of That Forbidden Tree.’ Poet.Six letters.”

She didn’t answer, but someone else did.

“Milton, Paradise Lost.”

I glanced over to Kit, standing in the doorway of the playroom, then back down to the paper. Of course she had it right, but I wasn’t about to let her see how amused I was, making a show of checking if the boxes matched the letters, which it did.

I filled it in, turning to Bell. “Listen to Columbia over there… she’s got it,” I grinned. “Let’s try another shall we?”

I scanned down the clues until I found one I definitely didn’t know the answer to.

“1998 Faith Hill song that describes perpetual bliss.” I picked up my beer and sipped it, watching Kit.

She started humming a tune that I would’ve had an almost one hundred percent certainty I’d never heard before, although given that Kit was practically tone deaf it was quite possible she’d got the tune wrong anyway. Her lips pursed as she hummed to herself, and I tried not to focus on them, or focus on where I wanted them to be right now.

I shifted my sweatpants before I started getting uncomfortable.

“This Kiss.”

“What?” I coughed away the beer that stuck in my throat, momentarily concerned she may have had mind reading abilities.

“The Faith Hill song, it’s called This Kiss.”

I filled in the gap. “Correct again.”

She grinned at me in challenge, as if she’d get any of them wrong.

“Okay,” I found another one I knew, but would be seriously impressed if she did. “Reciprocal in trigonometry.”

“How many letters?”

I counted out. “Eight.”

She bit down on her lip, holding back a smirk. “Pass.”

She walked over to the mat, crouching down and tickling Bell’s tummy. “Hi, Bells. Did you have a good day?”

My eyes narrowed as she glanced back up at me.

“You know the answer don’t you?”

---