Page 17 of The Secret

They’d taken to her immediately, owning her as another grandchild to add to their already growing brood, even before the results of the test made it official. But the flip side had been trying to organize me, which included my need to come up with a name, something I hadn’t wanted to do until the results came back.

“No, she doesn’t have a name,” she repeated. “Penn, darling, did you have a late night? Would you like breakfast?”

He looked longingly at her as she started taking eggs and bacon from the fridge. “I’m never going to say no to one of your bacon sandwiches, Diane.”

She placed two glasses of fresh orange juice down in front of us. “Murray, you need to make a decision, darling.”

“Mum, normal people get nine months to decide. Stop fucking pressuring me to do it in three days! It’s been three days since the results came back,” I snapped.

She pursed her lips at my swearing, and I would have felt guilty about snapping at her if I had the energy.

But I didn’t.

Penn knocked back the orange juice, placing his empty glass on the counter. “Dude, you need a name. Raf has to get her forms in tomorrow.”

“I know that, Pennington,” I grumbled, “but this name is with her for life. She needs to carry it when she’s head of a Fortune 500 company, or Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Surgeon General. Or President.”

He took off his sunglasses, staring at me with bloodshot eyes. “President? Jeez, this kid isn’t going to be under any pressure at all.”

“She can be whatever she wants to be. Point is, I’m not going to fuck up her name because you all pressured me into calling her something shit.”

Barclay groaned loudly in agreement from his bed.

My mum started laying the bacon into a hot pan, filling the air with the sound of sizzling, the smell causing my mouth to fill with saliva.

“What about Granny Ottilie?” she asked, turning the rashers over.

“What about her?”

“Well, that would be a pretty name for her, and Granny would have loved that.”

I grunted.

“Still got something against Olivia?” The innocence coating Penn’s tone was not about to fool me in the slightest because he was almost a bigger shit-stirrer than I was. He knew full well I fucking did, smirking at me as my body spasmed, like someone had poured ice water over me.

“Fuck yes. I’m not naming my daughter after the most horrifying sexual experience of my life.”

When I’d been a very horny sixteen year old, walking around with a constant boner and jacking off every spare minute, I’d had a massive crush on one of Wolfie and Freddie’s school friends. Her name was Olivia, and to me she’d been utter perfection; the star of nearly all my wanking sessions and every wet dream. One summer, my sisters had their friends over, including Olivia, and they were spending their time by the pool in my parents’ garden. I’d spent most of my day watching them rub sunscreen over each other, all of them wearing miniscule bikinis, while drinking a bottle of vodka I’d swiped from my dad’s liquor cabinet. When I’d bumped into her later that afternoon, in my inebriated state I’d mistaken her friendliness as being into me and leaned in to kiss her, which is when all the vodka made an appearance. As any girl would when puked on by the younger brother of her friends, she ran away. And it naturally put me off anyone named Olivia, for life.

A huge plate of bacon sandwiches was placed in front of us, Penn diving in like he was about to die from his hangover and this was the only cure.

“These are epic,” he mumbled through his massive mouthfuls. “Thank you, Diane.”

“You’re welcome,” she laughed, bumping into Rafe on her way out of the kitchen, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Just in time for breakfast.”

He slapped me on the back before reaching for a sandwich and sitting down. “Hey, man, how are you today?”

“Same as yesterday, but more exhausted.”

He got back up and started making coffee, handing me one when he was done.

“Thank you.” I sipped it. “I don’t know how new parents do this and there’s two of them. Single parents are literally superheroes.”

“Got that right.” Rafe sipped his own coffee, before putting it down to stare at Penn as if noticing his hungover state for the first time. “What’s wrong with you?”

He smirked. “Hooked up with that girl I met the other day when I took Barclay for a walk, and I haven’t been to sleep yet.”

My face fell into my hands. “Oh my God, I’m never going to go out and have sex again, am I? I’m going to be too tired to function. How do parents even make a second kid? If I’d known what was about to happen, I would have made more of my last weekend of freedom.”

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