“You don’t sound happy.”
“Do I have to arrange a parade to prove it?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.
“It might be a little preliminary,” I say dryly. “They’ve only gone on one date.”
“For Chuck, watchingMary Tyler Mooretogether is like going to third base.”
I shake my head, amused but far from a smile. Because my heart feels like it might burst if I don’t go to him, or he doesn’t come to me. But taking that first step feels impossible. It feels like I’d be stepping out into open air.
He looks away from me, focusing on the furry bunny in the makeshift enclosure. “They need more space,” he says. “He felt trapped in there.”
“You’re a rabbit expert now?”
“He and I have reached an understanding,” he says, lowering into a chair at the edge of the enclosure. Carrot hops over to him, and he reaches down and pets him between his ears. The rabbit lets him. The melted butter feeling in my chest spreads, making me feel like a sloppy mess. I want to go to Seamus. I want to sit on his lap or at his feet. Ivery muchwant to touch him, but I’m terrified.
I still don’t know what’s in his past, or his future, but right now the things I know seem more important than things I don’t…
“You tripped Jeffrey,” I say through a tight throat.
“He’s lucky I didn’t kill him.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
He turns toward me, his eyes full of fire. “Don’t pretend you don’t know, Emma. Don’t you do that.”
I need to do or say something, so I blurt, “I’m sorry I left this morning.”
His eyes harden, his brow flat and ungiving. “I’m not.”
He means it to hurt, and it does. “You’re being a dick.”
“I didn’t invite you here. You came all on your own.”
“You’d kill Jeffrey for me, but you want me to leave your apartment?” I put a hand on my hip, ignoring the frantic beating of my heart. The pain pricking across its surface.
His lips quirk upward. “I’m drunk and on pain killers. You can’t expect me to make sense.”
“Do you really want me to leave?”
“I’m not going to be yourfriend, Emma. I don’t play nice.”
“That’s good, because I don’t either. And I definitely have no interest in being your friend.”
“No?” he asks, his lips curling toward a smile, though I can’t tell what kind of smile yet. Seamus has a drawerful of them.
“No.”
He gets up and takes a step toward me, the motion sucking the air out of my lungs. Everything in me is on high alert. I’m afraid of him, but not because I think he’s going to harm me. Not physically, at least.
He reaches me, his height requiring me to look up to hold his molten gaze. I feel engulfed by him but not diminished. He smells like a bar, the way I did the night I first kissed him.
“I’m a fucking mess right now,” he says, peering down at me.
“I know.”
His mouth forms another of his one million grins, and he reaches for my chin, tipping it up to him.
“I wanted you to stay last night.”