Page 89 of The Love Losers

“He didn’t hurt me,” I say thickly. “I screwed everything up. For him and for me.”

He raises his eyebrows. “I doubt that very much.”

Well, shit, I suppose I’d better tell him everything.

“Let’s get some hot chocolate,” I suggest.

He makes a face, because he’s a manly man who drinks coffee, but he walks over to the stand with me. We get our drinks and then claim a bench by the tree.

I talk, and he listens, because if there’s one thing my brother’s always been good at, it’s listening.

He rubs his brow as I finish. “I wish you’d told me this a long time ago, Rosie.”

“I should’ve,” I say, feeling the guilt burning through me. “But I was ashamed.”

His jaw firms. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Our uncle used us. He’d have used anyone to get what he wanted.” He pauses, messing with the lid of the hot chocolate he’s barely touched, then shifts slightly on the bench so he’s staring at me. And I know what he’s going to say before he even says it. Put it down to the sibling bond or the knowledge two people who’ve known each other for a lifetime have about each other. I grip the side of the bench, trying to steel myself. “I think you should come with us.”

“You said you didn’t want to go,” I object.

“I don’t.” He looks sad as he rubs his brow again, his eyes on me. “I don’t see a good ending for this, Rosebud.”

It was our mom’s pet name for me, and more tears rush to my eyes.

“You think he’s going to marry someone else.”

He swallows but doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. My brother’s no idiot, and at the end of the day, neither am I. The logical thing for Anthony to do would be to marry someone else next weekend, whether it’s Leigh the accountant or Nina, shudder the thought. It would be the only safe way for him to protect meandget his money.

I want what’s best for him, so I should be okay with that, but the feeling inside of me isnot okay. In fact, I’d like very much to scream and throw my hot chocolate at the tree.I’dlike to punch a wall and cancel Christmas and generally act very immature about this whole thing.

I’d like a storm to break out, so my surroundings could match my mood.

But I bite my lip and watch my brother.

“I think he should,” Declan finally says, his voice like sandpaper. It’s killing him to hurt me. I can see that in his eyes. But it’s killing me too, because part of me had hoped my big brother would be able to fix this. “If he cares about you, he’ll leave you alone.”

“What about Nicole?” I ask, more tears coursing down my cheeks. “Nicole said she could get someone to permanently delete my fingerprints.”

“I believe she can probably pull something like that off,” he says with a trace of humor. “And she and I will be having a long talk about all of this. But, Rosie, this is a mess from start to finish. If that Nina woman can prove what you’ve been doing with Joy…” He swears under his breath and rubs a hand over his beard. “I should have been paying better attention.”

“Would you have tried to stop us?” I ask, not without attitude. “You’re my brother, Declan, not my boss. And we haven’t been harming anyone. Joy needs this.”

Ineed this, I think but don’t add. It’s not the “special” teas I need but the feeling of purpose, of building something with and for someone.

“I don’t disagree with you, but you have to stop. It’s officially become a problem.”

I nod, because he’s right. “I know. I’ll talk to Joy. We can still put on tea parties, but probably no special sauce.”

“We need to clean out your apartment, too,” he say. “Jake and I can go out there later to help out.”

I nod.

“It’s not only this Nina woman that’s the problem… Someone has it out for that family. If this Nina woman didn’t do thewebsite, you could have two people who are out to get you. It’s not worth the risk.He’snot worth the risk.”

I could fight him on it. I could ask him if he’d risk himself for Claire, because I know he would. Hehas. But I’m tired in a bone-deep way that knows no end, and I feel like I’ve done enough harm to everyone for one day. “Let’s go home,” I say. “Claire and Joy are probably worried about us.”

“Nicole and Damien are over there too.” He shakes his head, trying to smile at me. “She’s wearing aMy brother-in-law is a bearT-shirt under her sweatshirt. She unzips it every time Claire has her back turned. If I don’t propose soon, Nicole’s shirts will do it for me. I think Jake and Lainey are planning on stopping by later, too. There’s been talk of a bonfire.”

I force a smile. The thought of being around so many people right now is exhausting. “Okay, let’s go. But please don’t tell anyone about all of this.

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