Page 119 of The Love Losers

“I understand.” I don’t like it either, but I also don’t want to let her go.

“But you wouldn’t leave her, even if it’s for her own good.”

“No,” I say without hesitation. “Not unless she wants to be left. I love her.”

He considers this for a moment before nodding. “Good. Did you really hitch a ride on a snowplow?”

A surprised laugh escapes me. Then I nod toward my sister, who’s steadily getting drunk with my mother, Nicole, and Joy. “My lawyer would tell me to take the fifth.”

He claps me on the back. “Next time you can use the door.”

I feel Rosie watching me. When I look at her, she crooks her fingers, and it’s as if they pull at something within my chest.

“Go on,” Declan says brusquely. “Let’s bring it down.”

He’s the one who does most of the work, given he actually knows what he’s doing. But it’s a group effort, led by him. We all work together, and when the last of it falls to the ground, I have tears in my eyes. Worse,my motherhas tears in her eyes.

“Should we burn it?” Rosie asks, eying the messy pile of leaves and wood and apples in various stages of rot. There’s still snow on the ground, and the scene is strangely beautiful.

I wrap my arms around her, laughing. “Easy, we don’t want to bring the whole house down.”

“No,” Emma says, “Just everything inside of it and on the walls.”

My mother smirks at her. “I’ve given you too much power.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

ROSIE

The party moves indoors after the tree comes down, because it’s freezing. Nicole and Emma have been going drink for drink, and Nicole gets so tipsy she starts flashing herMy Sister-in-Law Swallowsshirt at me within Claire’s view. So either Claire is completely oblivious, or Declan’s proposal isn’t going to come as much of a surprise.

We play Charades and Never Have I Ever, at Mrs. Rosings’s suggestion, and then everyone leaves, ferried home by town cars. Anthony and I go upstairs, where I kiss every inch of every one of his scars.

He’s so beautiful to me, inside and out.

Part of me still can’t believe that a love loser like me could trip into this situation that’s so strangely perfect. The man I want. The job I want. ThelifeI want.

I feel a hot, liquid rage toward his father, which is frustrating given that the man’s been dead for so long there’s no feasible way for me to kick him in the balls. But I decide to funnel it into our meeting with Nina and Wilson. Part of me feels bad for Wilson, who is too agreeable for his own good, but surely he’ll be better off if he breaks up with Nina.

On Thursday morning, Anthony’s mother insists we all need to leave for the day because she doesn’t want to “ruin the surprise” of what the decorators will be doing to the house. My theory is that none of us are going to like it, she knows it, and yet she’s very attached to the way she planned this wedding and won’t have it any other way.

That’s fine by me.

I’ve never been the kind of woman who obsesses over veils or dresses. In fact, I have no idea what kind of veil or dress I’m going to be wearing on Sunday. I’ll have to figure that out, but not yet. As far as the wedding goes, I figure the more absurd it is, the more memorable it will be. So I bring Anthony to the jerky store near Balls of Fire, because he’s never tried jerky before.

After trying a sample, he declares he’ll never try it again. I buy some for Declan and Seamus, and we leave the store.

“You know,” Anthony says as we walk back toward the car. “They say dried meat, but then you taste it and it’s dried meat. I feel like a vulture.”

“I know, isn’t it fantastic?” I bump him with my shoulder, then nod to Balls of Fire. “Scene of the crime.”

“Are you implying you want to go back?” he asks, a corner of his mouth lifting. “You know, I’m surprisingly fond of that place.”

“Nah, you can never go back to the scene of the crime. Besides, I have something else in mind.”

His phone starts ringing, and he frowns and plucks it out of his coat pocket. “It’s Simon.”

“Answer it. You can hand it over if he needs to be told off.”

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