Page 103 of The Love Losers

He swallows. “I tried to steal a snowmobile, and when that didn’t work, I hitched a ride with a snowplow driver. He looks like Santa Claus. The whole way over, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much you’d appreciate that.”

This is all so unexpected. The pieces of my heart that didn’t want to be broken are begging for me to put them back together. It’s inconceivable that he’d do all that if he didn’t want me, isn’t it? It’s inconceivable that he did all of that, period. A few weeks ago, he’d never even cracked a peanut from its shell and let the shell fall to the floor, something he admitted to me while we were riding Sweetcheeks. Now here he is, hitchhiking across the county just so he can see me...

“Rule Breaker,” I whisper, wanting to touch him, to kiss him, to swoon. Wanting to peel the layers off of him and press kisses across his body. Wanting, desperately, for him to thrust inside of me.

No one’s ever done anything like this for me before—come for me through over half a foot of unplowed snow, in the dead of night. It’s the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to me, displacing our unicorn ride, but then his text message repeats itself in my brain, refreshing the groove it’s formed there over the last several hours.

Detaching my hand from his, I fold my arms over my chest and take a step back, leaving him with his spine to my door.

He swallows, his Adam’s Apple bobbing in his throat. “I…I guess it was impulsive. You’ve been rubbing off on me, Rosie. And that’s a good thing. It’s the best thing. I shouldn’t have turned it against you yesterday. I wasn’t myself.”

There’s something plaintive in his eyes, and I’m so full of conflicting feelings, they could split me apart. “Why are you here?” I ask, trying to sound like a hard-ass.

“My mother…she said you were leaving for New York with your brother. And I couldn’t let you go without telling you how I feel. I hated myself for letting you leave like you did yesterday. We haven’t known each other for long, Rosie, but you’ve changed my life. You make me feel…” He takes a step forward, as if he can’t help himself, and I don’t try to stop him. Iwanthim next to me. Something flashes in his eyes, his beautiful, long-lashed eyes, and he opens his arms to me.

And even though that groove in my head is telling me this is some kind of trick, I walk into his arms, sighing with relief when he wraps them around me. We’re silent for a moment, just standing there with our arms around each other, and then he says into my hair. “You told me that I make you feel like magic could be real, and you, Rosie…you make me hope for a different future than the one I’ve been barreling toward for my whole life. I know this is crazy, and I’m sorry for it, and I’m sorry for barging in here like a maniac. If you’ve already made up your mind, I understand. But I want to be very clear about what I want. I wantyou. I’m going to take care of Nina, but if you still don’t feel comfortable with getting married next week, then that’s okay. I don’t want to cause any trouble for you and your family. I’m not going to marry anyone else, because I’m sick of lying to everyone, and I’m sick of lying to myself most of all.”

My heart is trying to thud its way out of my chest now, so I let my arms drop so it can do its thing. “But Anthony,” I say, my voice coming out ragged and tears welling in my eyes. “Thismorning you told me to leave you and your family alone. I’m only...I’m doing what you asked me to.”

“What?” he says in astonishment, his voice coming out louder than he probably intended. My brother’s dog gives a little yip downstairs.

I press my fingers to Anthony’s lips and he kisses them, his eyes burning into me. “I didn’t say that. I’dneversay that. I can’t find my phone. I haven’t had it since I was at the hospital. Someone must have…”

“The stalker,” I say with a gasp, relieved but also worried. “Could Nina have—”

He dips his head down to me. “I guess it’s possible she could have seen me at the hospital and grabbed it, but why would she have been there in the first place? There’s a chance someone else might have taken it. Someone dangerous. Maybe you should—”

And I tip up onto my toes to kiss him, because I’ve spent all day thinking he was lost to me, and it was a lie. I’m not going to waste time letting him tell me that I should go to New York after all and leave him to deal with this shit alone. It’s not going to happen, and the circular argument would be a test of patience I don’t have.

He kisses me back with wild ferocity, a battle of lips and tongues, and backs me into the wall with a muted bang. I break away to attack his clothes, unzipping the coat, which he shrugs off.

“Your brother doesn't know I’m here,” he whispers into my lips right before I lower down and start untying the laces of his boots. “Jesus, Rosie, you don’t have to do that.”

“And you didn’t have to hitchhike across half the county to get to me.” I finish with one, help him pull the boot off, then move to the other.

“How’d you get in?” I ask as I move my hands up to unbutton his pants. He’s already straining against them, his big dick hard for me.

“I knocked on Joy’s window, and she let me in. I guess the electricity must have gone out, otherwise I would have woken up the whole house with the alarm. She had me hide in her bed because your brother came upstairs. She pretended I was her lover.” His lips twitch. “She said he didn’t need to worry if there was some noise.”

“Oh my God, go, Joy. Let’s not let her sacrifice be in vain.”

I lower his pants and underwear, freeing him, then trace the length of him with my tongue while I look up at him.

He swears and buries a big hand in my hair as I take him into my mouth. There’s no way I’m going to be able to get all of him in—I was, unfortunately, born with a very unpornstar-like gag reflex—but I take as much of him as I can, still looking up at him, because he’s staring at me in a way no other man ever has. As if heworshipsme.

His hand flexes in my hair, pulling at it, and sensation floods me, settling between my legs. I feel a pulse of need there, as if my whole being has become an ache that only his dick can soothe. The sounds he makes and the way his hand moves in my hair as I suck my way up and down his dick only make the ache keener.

Seconds later, he’s pulling me up.

“It didn’t feel good?” I ask.

“It felt too good,” he says. “I need to be inside you, Rosie. I need—” He punctuates this by turning me so my back is pressed to the wall and hiking up my Christmas nightshirt. The only thing I have on underneath is a pair of panties, and he pushes them down roughly, and then rubs my needy clit as he lowers his head to shower kisses on my neck, the tops of my tits. His groan is pained. “You feel so fucking good. Like a dream.”

“Let’s make it a reality,” I say, reaching for his exposed dick, still wet from my mouth.

“Do you still have those—”

“I’m on birth control, and I’m clean. I want you like this. Raw, against the wall. I need to feel every last inch of you. I want it deep, Anthony. So deep.”

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