Page 61 of The Love Bandits

“Ooh,” Claire says, lifting a finger. “This one’s good. It’s about standing your ground and defending the progress you’ve made.” Her eyes dart up to meet mine. “It’s for a person whostands against a multitude but perseveres. That’s you, Lainey. You persevere.”

A chill runs down my spine, because that doesn’t sound like me at all. When it comes down to it, I’m a woman who runs. I found out Todd cheated, and I left. My best friend moved, and I didn’t even try to stick it out without her.I left.

I say as much, and she shakes her head. “Bullshit. You’re stronger than you think. I just want you to love yourself like I love you.”

I smile at her. “I’m trying.”

“So go home and try harder. I say that with all the love in my heart, of course.”

“Of course,” I say, smiling wider. “Are you going to give me some Bronuts to go?”

“That depends, are you going to ask the hot thief to eat them off of you?”

Finding her dreams has emboldened her, and I’m grateful for that, even though I feel the ache of wanting to live my purpose too. “To be determined.”

She gives me a bag of Bronuts, of course, because she’s Claire, and even though she’s found herself, she’ll still always want to give the people she loves the things they want.

Five minutes later, I walk through the front door of the cabin.Home. Nicole glances up from the couch, where she’s sitting with a snifter of something and a phone, and Professor X slinks out of the kitchen, chewing on God only knows what.

“So she’s back,” Nicole says. She nods to the bag I’m still holding. “You get the goods from Claire?”

“Obviously.” I glance around, trying not to appear like I’m looking for him. Also, definitely looking for him, but I can already feel that he’s not here. The house feels too…settled. Too quiet.

Nicole gives me a knowing glance. “If you give me one, I’ll tell you where the thief is.”

My heart beating faster, I sit on the couch next to her and present the bag. She takes it without ceremony as Professor X rubs against my feet and legs. “He’s off doing P.I. shit with Damien. I think Damien’s trying to butter him up for information by making him feel useful. You know, the thing they always tell you to do with children.”

“You spend time with children?” I ask, both fascinated and maybe a little horrified.

She snorts. “I’ll have you know, I’m going to be the best aunt that ever aunted when Claire and Declan decide to procreate. I’m going to let that little fucker do whatever he or she wants.”

“I’m sure that’ll bring a lot of comfort to Claire,” I say.

She makes a flippant gesture. “You can be the good aunt.”

I feel something warm in my chest. Aunt. She’s accepting me as Claire’s sister. As hers.

But the feeling blackens, like a marshmallow left over fire for too long. Because what could I possibly have to give to a child? Only poisoned lessons taught by poisonous people.

CHAPTER TWENTY

LAINEY

I stay in my room, curled up with Professor X, even though I hear Damien’s car come back. I don’t check my phone when it beeps. I’m raw without fully understanding why, my mind running through what Claire said over and over again.

I just want you to love yourself like I love you.

I also keep thinking about those Tarot cards and what happened last night—tackling Jake at Mrs. Rosings’s house, helping him, letting him touch me.

Pulling away from him.

Why?

Why couldn’t I let myself have that one moment of release?

I’d like to think it’s because of him. He’s so completely inappropriate, the last person I should be kissing or touching, but my patchwork heart knows better.

It’s not him, it’sme.

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