Page 45 of The Love Bandits

“I can’t be inside this room with the door locked,” I say, ashamed by the way my voice breaks. “Ican’t.” It would obviously be overdramatic to say it would kill me, but that’s what it feels like. It feels like it’salreadykilling me.

She peers at me with suspicious eyes that soften from whatever she sees in my face. Fantastic. Roark always says,never show them your weakness,and here I am, flashing mine like it’s an American Express Black. And not for the first time. I gave her Ryan’s name. I told her about Roark, even if I didn’t drop any details about him.

She knows more than she should.

She layers a hand on my arm, over the place bared by my rolled-up sleeves, her fingers moving over my flesh in a soothing gesture, soft and mesmerizing. I enjoy it for half a second beforerealizing the woman who caught me is now trying to comfort me, which makes me feel even weaker.

Never show them your weakness.

I pull away.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her gaze holding mine. Earnest. “I could tell you were upset, but I didn’t realize… You can come out or keep the door open. I don’t mind.” Her expression hardens. “Just—”

“Don’t try anything or you’ll put my nuts in a vise. Got it. And it was nothing. A lot of people don’t like being in a locked room. No big deal.”

She watches me, her eyes seeing more than I’d like. “Sure, but you think you’d be more used to the idea given what you do.”

Given that I’m a thief, she means, and am probably heading toward a locked room one day, like it or not. It’s nothing I haven’t thought of a thousand times.

“If only people only wanted what was good for them.”

“True enough.” She looks like she’s about to walk away, but she lingers, her eyes on my face. “I’ll get your things later. After Damien and Nicole get back. I’ve already been seen at your place, so no one will think it’s weird.”

Unless they saw her leading that cat out of my apartment with the glue trap attached to its side. But I don’t say so. After all, I don’t have much room to talk. I went door to door selling Girl Scout cookies in October.

I run a hand over my face, my mind working fast.

If I let her do that, I’d have to trust her with my things.

No, no can do. She may have saved my ass, but she also gave up Ryan’s name.

“It’s okay,” I lie. “I didn’t leave anything important behind.”

Her expression is doubtful. “I know you did. I saw the expression on your face earlier.”

“Maybe I looked that way because you’ve imprisoned me.”

She cuts me with a glare. “Leave if you want. Find your own way to the apartment.”

“But if I take off, you’ll keep Jake Jeffries’s shitty car, and you’ll tell Anthony everything. Got it.”

“I’m glad we’re clear on that. But if you’re uncomfortable leaving your drawings at the apartment and you want your own clothes, I can…”

“I’mdefinitelyuncomfortable with you going through my things again,” I snap, feeling cornered. Stuck. The only person I’ve shown my sketchbooks to is Ryan. They’re my way of making sense of the past. Of hanging on to myself. They’remine.

“How do you think the people you steal from feel?” she asks, her eyes blazing now.

She probably doesn’t realize it, but her words aren’t without impact.

“Just forget it.” I start to turn back into the room, then rethink it. I can’t be in there right now. I don’t want to be stuck in my memories.

Elaine takes a step toward me. “You don’t trust me because I gave them your brother’s first name, but it was important. If anyone can help, it’s Nicole and Damien. They’re good at uncovering information.”

My mouth hitches up. “Well, fucking fantastic, Elaine. Like your friend down there said, my brother’s not as good at covering his tracks as I am. So excuse me if the last thing I want is to spoon-feed him to people who can find evidence to put him away.”

“They want to help you, you idiot,” she says hotly, and the cat yowls from somewhere and slinks up from parts unknown to stand beside her. Both of them stand there, staring at me with flashing eyes. It would be cute if I weren’t here at Elaine’s mercy, in this shitty cabin, hundreds of miles away from my brother.

“Why? I’m not a stray cat,Elaine. I’m a thief. My brother and I aren’t good people. You were right about me. I befriended Anthony so I could steal from him, and it wouldn’t be the first time. If you want to know the truth, most of the time I don’t even feel that bad about it. So, no, I don’t expect any of you to stick your necks out for me and my dumbass brother, because there’d be no benefit to you.”

---