Page 13 of My Grumpy Valentine

No roses in sight.

As bad of a friend as it’ll make me sound, I don’t want Pen to think about Danny. I only want her to see me.

So, fuck roses. She’s going to get a mix because she doesn’t deserve to settle with one kind of flower. I’ll buy her every kind I see.

It’s only one step in the direction of showing her how special she is.

Even if I’m no good at this stuff, I have to start somewhere. Unlike the outcome of our questionable first date, I’m going to nail this one.

6

Penelope

I think I’ve sat in every single spot I can in my house. From lounging on the couch to shifting at the dining table to throwing myself down on my bed.

I feel like I’m a teenager again, flopping about nervously because of my decisions. Unable to sit still, every time I remember how last night ended, I get all fuzzy and anxious.

I kissed Asher. Rather than thinking about the consequences of my actions, I kissed him because there was nothing else I wanted to do more at that very moment.

Now look at me. I’m almost thirty years old, and I’m all jumbled up like I’m half that age. I need to relax before Asher realizes that I have barely matured over the years. I’m still the same flustered, nervous woman he’s always known.

Despite saying he’d return today, I’m not getting anything—no texts or calls, giving no signs that I didn’t completely scare him away because my body moved on its own.

I’ve survived all these hours by convincing myself that he’s figuring out how to let me down easily. A troubling thought has transformed into a chaotic jumble in my mind, leaving me stressed that a single misstep could trigger everything to spill over.

Will I come off as desperate if I call him first? Maybe even if I just send a friendly text with a waving emoji or something. I don’t have to wait for him…

Currently collapsed at the dining table, I press my palms against my flushed cheeks. Trying to ease my worries, there’s a weight growing heavier at the back of my mind.

He didn’t accept my invitation inside. After a kiss that passionate, only one outcome would’ve happened if he’d stepped through the doorway. He knows that, doesn’t he? Is that why he declined?

After knowing what I’ve gone through with Danny, he could’ve wanted to avoid risking hurting me. If only he knew how impossible that is.

Asher’s too good of a man to do any harm. He’s never treated me wrong, in the present or past.

As I grow anxious once more, my knees bounce as I tap my thumbs against my coffee cup. All this caffeine can’t be helping me, either. After a night full of tossing and turning, I need every sip I can get my hands on.

Taking another much-needed sip, I sputter and cough at the sound of a hard knock against the front door.

Jerking, I wonder if I’ve hallucinated the sound because of how badly I want to hear it. There’s another knock, and I’m on my feet.

Please don’t be management or a neighbor complaining.

Please be Asher. He’s the only person I want to see.

When I yank open the door, the flora smell hits me before my heart has time to explode in my chest.

Asher is really here, standing on my doormat with a bundle of flowers pressed to his chest. They’re beautiful. A mix of colors that remind me of the fields on the mountain during the springtime.

“Can I come inside?” he asks after I’m left staring at him for a minute too long. The paper surrounding the flowers crinkles in his grip as he shifts from one foot to the other. “Cold as hell out here.”

Making myself dizzy with how quickly I nod, I beckon him inside before slowly shutting the door. My stomach is clenching up, and now, the coffee feels like a terrible decision. I feel like I’m buzzing and on the verge of getting sick.

Has falling in love always felt like this, or have I just forgotten? Not even Danny has evoked these kinds of feelings in me.

“For you,” he explains as he hands off the flowers. When his hands are free, he’s rubbing the back of his neck. “For the holiday and all that.”

I don’t even know what day it is. That’s how distracted I am.Oh.Valentine’s Day. Ouch. I’ve kind of made myself forget about any holiday paired with romance. Normally, if I’m not working, I just binge-watch silly romance movies. If I’m feeling extra sensitive, I’d pair it with ice cream. Thanks to Asher, I never thought to buy any.

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