I shake my head, not answering. Rowan lets me inside. I curl up next to him, not wanting to talk. We both need sleep butthat's hard when I can feel his presence next to me and there's a part of me that wants to turn towards him and just kiss him. Surely Rowan would be easier than Alaric? Surely, things can be better with him?

I can feel how easy that would be, but my pain is a bad reason to do it. It wouldn't be fair to Rowan. So I don't turn to him, and he doesn't turn me towards him, doesn't initiate anything.If he did, I'm sure I would melt into his arms, but instead, he just holds me through what proves to be a very frustrating night indeed.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

A bird comes to me in the morning.

It is a very awkward morning, because even though I rise early people see me leaving Rowan’s cell. I head to the bathhouse along with Zara and Cesca, who both look as though they have a thousand questions for me.

“So, you and Rowan?” Cesca asks.

I shake my head. “Nothing happened.”

Which is both a relief and a frustration. A relief because I don't want to betray Alaric that wayjust because we have argued. A frustration because… well, it's impossible to deny that there is an attraction between myself and Rowan. To sleep beside a gorgeous, muscular guy andjustsleep took an effort.

Somehow I doubt that Ironhold’s rumor mill will believe me on that point, though. When Alaric hears about it, I have no doubt that he will be upset. Going to Rowan when Alaric and I have argued is just about the worst thing I could do.

There is no time to seek him out, either, when we must both prepare this morning for another procession down to the colosseum and another fight. If I go to him and we argue again, wouldn't that just make it harder for both of us focus? In any case, it's early, and I imagine Alaric is still asleep. I will talk to him later, but not now. Especially not when I’m not sure what I can say that will resolve the fundamental arguments between us. I can’t be what Alaric wants me to be, and I’m starting to worry that he can’t feel as much as I want him to feel.

The bird comes to me in the bathhouse. It is a raven, larger than the crows I'm used to working with in the arena. It works its way in through one of the windows, fluttering down and stopping in front of me. I know it has been sent for me becauseit croaks my name in a passable imitation of the human voice.

“Lyra.”

The others appear astonished by its presence, but my hope is that they will not say anything. I can guess who must have sent this because there were only so many beast whisperers out there, and only one who has promised to contact me.

There is a note attached to the leg of the raven, rolled tightly and then tied in place with a length of twine.

“Someone is sending you birds?” Cesca says, frowning. “Another beast whisperer?”

I know how dangerous this moment is. I regard Cesca and Zara as friends but that might not be enough to stop them saying anything about this. And if Lord Darius finds out that I know about the location of other beast whisperers… if the emperor finds out… I have no doubt they will make me talk somehow.

“I'm the one controlling it,” I say. It's a lie, but it's one they might believe, and it’s better than telling them the truth. I can only imagine the risk Lady Elara is taking, sending a raven like this here. Perhaps she thought she would be able to send it to me at a moment when I would be alone, but there are no such momentswhen I am afraid that Callus will strike the moment he gets an opportunity.

“You're controlling birds to get messages from the outside world?” Zara asks. “Who is this one from? Or do I have to guess? A love note from a former patron? I know you were whispering to her in the receiving room of the games.”

“Oh, that's so romantic,” Cesca gasps, clearly enjoying the thought. “Lady Elara cannot afford to be your patron but you've both fallen for each other so deeply that you keep up your communications anyway andit's all forbidden because you're the emperor’s now.”

I don't know whether to be pleased that they don’t know the truth, embarrassed by the story that they're telling themselvesabout me, all worried about what will happen if this particular version of events gets back to the emperor.

Thankfully, or perhaps not, Zara and Cesca’s thoughts seem to be on other things.

“Has the emperor taken you as a lover?” Zara asks. “Is there a chance that after you finish your time in the colosseum that we will have to kneel to you as our empress?”

I laugh at the prospect but actually it's no laughing matter. Emperor Tiberius has already made it clear thathe could command me to his bed at any moment. And what if he decides that I am powerful and interesting enough that he wants me? Or what if he just wants to assert his authority over meby showing me that I have no choice?

The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm caught in the middle of a terrifying web of events. Lady Elara wants me to be the beast whisperer who allows our kind to come out into the open, and who perhapsbrings about the fall of the emperor. Emperor Tiberius wants me to be his spy within Ironhold, to represent him well in the games, and to become the savior of the city in some way, while fearing constantly that I might be a threat to him. Callus wants to kill me for reasons I don’t know. Someone is attacking my home village… it is all getting so complicated and dangerous for me.

“What does the note say?” Cesca asks. “Does she declare her undying love?”

“I'm not reading it to you,” I reply, but I do read the note, being careful to shield it so that the others cannotread it anyway.

Lyra,

I have asked people who know these things and I have found out about the assassinwho has come for you, this “Callus”. While I do not know the name, my friends tell me that in the past there was a group, the Order of Hunters, dedicated to eradicating beast whisperers wherever they could find them.They trainedthose with the talent for healing to do the inverse and suck lifefrom their targets.

The Orderbelieved that beast whisperers were abominations against nature, not fitting with the usual order of magic. They say we are something that has grown up separately from the power of the stones of Aetheria, a mistake to be destroyed. Or said it, at least. Because everything I can find says that the Order of Hunters was wiped outat least a decade ago by the concerted efforts ofthose beast whisperers they sought to murder. If Callus is one of them, and his talent is consistent with it, then he is very dangerous indeed, and will stop at nothing to kill you.

The note is unsigned, and there is no mention in it that Lady Elara is a fellow beast whisperer. It's obvious she's taking every precaution she can, but Even so, when Cesca tries to snatch it from my hand, I pull the note backand toss it into the flames of one of the torches around the bathhouse.