Page 50 of Hooked on Loving Him

“Yeah, bro. You’re too new to ignore little sis,” Kyce co-signs.

I prepare to say something before another single vibration flows through my hand when another message comes through.

“I agree with our new fam. She’ll be all right. Stall her out,” Jawaan says.

“Remind me to give you this same advice when love gut-punches you and has you swinging at the air the first time your woman humbles your ass,” Kyce tells Jawaan.

Shaking my head, I unconsciously unlock the phone, and a shit-eating grin upturns my lips upon seeing what Ashari said.

Ashari P:

I know we agreed to let today be for our friends and family, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to end the night in my bed.

Besides, I’ll miss the feel of your dick thumping against my ass in the middle of the night.

“Aye, I hate to?—”

“Nope. Take this nigga’s keys because ain’t no leaving early and shit. It’s bro time. We ain’t doing this shit. You can go home when we all go home. One man… one sound,” Nino says, cutting me off while causing our group, including me, to laugh boisterously.

When everyone, including Kyce and Caine, who seem to be the more levelheaded out of our six-man group, nods in agreement, I lock my phone and wave the waiter over for another round of drinks.

“I’m forewarning you that if this delay causes me to sleep alone, I’m siccing Sassy on your ass,” I say to Nino, whose face twists.

“Who the fuck is Sassy? I got enough problems with Ariana Bellamy. I ain’t about the side piece life, my boy,” Nino asks.

“Don’t worry. The only thing you’re in jeopardy with Sassy is a sore leg when she pops her back like a broke down stripper,” Jawaan provides.

“Oh shit! Nah, I’m cool on all that… although,” Nino says, rubbing his chin as Kyce provides more context.

“Sassy is Kayshon’s Doberman, so unless you have a fetish, that will cause me and my wife to go on a seven-day fast to free you of your demons for good there is nothing for me to worry about,” Kyce says.

As the conversation continues, my mind returns to Ashari and the thought of her lying in bed, awaiting my arrival. Without having a key, I know she’s liable to cuss me out if this gathering goes later and I have to wake her up.

Hold tight, Shari. If I have to fake a stomachache, I’ll be there soon.

A month later…

“Aye, bro, can I ask you a question?” I ask Kyce while walking with him around our neighborhood as he pushes the twins in the double stroller.

“I’m listening.”

“Given everything we endured, how did you handle becoming a father? Is this shit worth it?”

The more time passes, the more the date approaches for my vasectomy, and doubt enters my mind by the second. Thankfully for me, an abundance of men want to get their dicks snipped, which meant my appointment was scheduled for months out. I have been conflicted about the decision since my initial appointment and the encounter with Pastor Reese. Discussing the topic with Ashari has been something I’m avoiding, only because I know her feelings, and I don’t want to rock the boat. Knowing that Ashari wants to have my babies doesn’t make me feel the need to cause her any pain or anxiety by talking about it with her.

“Our upbringing is the most unorthodox and toxic. Most people won’t understand, nor do they have the ability to comprehend. I remember thinking that the sins of my pastwould always prevent me from obtaining a loving future. Hearing Masani’s voice while fighting through the darkness during my coma was the first time I felt God’s love for me. I couldn’t wait to knock her up with my babies.”

For a second, I replay Kyce’s words in my mind as Lance’s angry face flashes in my mind. My hands ball into fists at his audacity because this is the first time Lance has surfaced in all my memory flashes.

“My DNA is so fucked up that the thought of being a dad damn near chokes me, bro.”

“Let me ask you this then. Are you willing to forfeit God’s plan for your future because of the stain within your past? I get it. Believe me, I do, but are you honestly cool with giving your bitch ass father that much power over you? Is the thought without proof of his demons worth the fracture of your heart when Ashari permanently walks away?”

My breath hitches, and pain stabs me in my chest at hearing Kyce’s last question as I swallow continuously to push the lump in my throat through my esophagus.

“Here’s something else for you to chew on. Although you have never said, I know you and Rema had some shit between y’all. For me, fucking Rema was something that, in an extremely unhealthy and dysfunctional way, made the absence of my mother lessen. Yet, there were multiple times I prayed that my nut wouldn’t latch onto her opportunistic eggs.”

“Oh shit!” My voice elevates as my feet stop moving when I hear unexpected information from Kyce that I never knew.

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