Page 33 of Hooked on Loving Him

“Aah, yes. Just like that, ba—mm,” I say before wrapping my arms around Kayshon’s waist as he thrusts in and out of me, instantly causing me to get wetter.

“Shit, Shari. I’m sorry I cheated you out of this before.” Kayshon’s tone is lower and huskier than before as he closes his eyes and his lids flutter.

“St-stay in the moment with me, Kayshon. L—ooh shit—look at me, baby,” I say before moaning as I meet Kayshon stroke for stroke.

Kayshon opens his eyes, and my chest pinches when I see the moisture glistening within his orbs.

Oh my God. Did I break him?

“You feel so good, Ashari. Oh God,” Kayshon says, groaning.

The eager affection coming off Kayshon’s body is tangible, causing emotion to well up within me. My mouth stretches open as my eyes grow wide from the slow, steady rhythm of Kayshon’s strokes, increasing the pressure on my G-spot. Rocking my hips causes my breath to hitch as a scream explodes from my mouth.

“That’s it, Shari. Cum for me, baby,” Kayshon coaches as my orgasm hits me unexpectedly.

“Aahhhh, Kay. Babyyy,” I moan while panting heavily as Kayshon continues stroking me slowly through my release.

Fatigue is heavy in my limbs as I lie in Kayshon’s arms, and he cuddles me protectively. I lost count of how many times we’ve gone at it or the number of times I’ve had an orgasm. What I can remember and treasure is Kayshon’s actions throughout the entire ordeal, making me wonder if he’d been invaded by body snatchers the first time we had sex. My throat was raw from screaming and moaning after I gave Kayshon permission to increase his strokes into me. Seeing his eyes shift from admiration to lust to longing for love had been the recipe for several orgasms. The heavy breathing from Kayshon’s body and the steady beating of his heart cause my eyes to close as I drift into a peaceful slumber.

“I promise, Mama. I promise I won’t be like him. I promise, please don’t go. Momm—” Hearing Kayshon’s tear-clogged voice snatches me from my sleep at an unknown time later.

My breathing is difficult due to the tight grip Kayshon has on my body. Grabbing his hand, I try to free myself from his clutches as he continues talking in his sleep.

“No. Please don’t cry, Momma. Lance won’t win. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll beg Ashari. Please don’t cry, Momma. Wait… don’t go. Do—I’m gonna fix it with Ashari. Momma. Momma.”

Kayshon’s voice becomes childlike as his pleas drop to a whisper, and I feel moisture hitting my bare shoulder.

“Shit,” I say as Kayshon’s grip on my waist eases enough for me to move while turning over to see his eyes closed.

What tanks my heart while causing a shiver down my spine are the tears falling from his lids as a despondent expression covers his features. Tapping Kayshon’s chest, I attempt to bring him out of the nightmare that seems to be causing him intense torment. Hearing my name in the midst of it has me curious about what’s happening in his unconscious state.

“I know, Momma. I promise I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it. Please don’t leave me again. Pleasseee,” Kayshon cries, breaking my heart and making waking him more urgent.

“Kayshon! Kayshon! Wake up. Wake up!” I shout, shaking Kayshon roughly as tears fall rapidly from my eyes as relief fills me when his eyes slowly open.

“Wh—why are you crying, Ashari? What’s wrong?” Kayshon asks groggily.

An uncontrollable wail exits my mouth, damn near knocking the wind out of me as I yank Kayshon into me while holding him tight.

“Ssh, Shari. Tell me what happened, baby. Talk to me.” Kayshon’s deep voice is void of the heavy emotion from minutes ago, causing me to cry and hold him tighter as his hands rub up and down my back soothingly.

Only the sounds of my crying permeate the air as Kayshon continues rubbing my back, and my mind tortures me with the reminder of his words.

That Sunday…

“Saints, Psalm thirty verse five says that weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning,” Papa Ren says with authority in the microphone while his eyes peer out into the congregation.

Heaviness settles within my body because I’m still raw from Kayshon’s nightmare. Kayshon had no recollection of what he said, and I couldn’t regurgitate it. It took Kayshon over thirty minutes to calm me enough to fall asleep, and even then, it hadn’t been restful. According to Kayshon, I spent the whole time jumping and sniffling, which prevented him from getting back to sleep. The joy in knowing that had me feeling ashamed, but it was my truth because I was unsure how I would handle another nightmare from him on the heels of the first one.

“Yet, what about the unbearable, agonizing, and unrelenting pain that’s overwhelming you in the night? I can feel some of you asking. However, the scripture doesn’t change, nor does it falter in letting you know that your weeping will be temporary. The hours between night and morning are short when you compare your sorrow to the joy that is promised to come with the dawning of a new day. The scripture gives you the belief that God’s restoration promise is a guarantee. It's in our darkest pain that produces our brightest light when we entrust it to Him… the creator of light. God’s favor doesn’t change in the presence of your pain, nor does it forfeit the blessing He has for you,” Papa Ren says, snapping me out of my brief thoughts as a dagger penetrates my chest from the impact of his words.

I look around the room to see if the spotlight I feel is shining on me at this moment is resting over anyone else. The congregants are fully in tune with Papa Ren as I squirm slightly when my eyes connect with Masani. A warm smile slips into place as Masani waves before returning to the front.

“Everybody standing, please,” Papa Ren says, causing my body to stiffen before I slowly stand upright. “Today’s message is for the people who are currently walking through a midnight experience. I admonish you to meet me at the altar if that's you. For the individuals saying Pastor Reese, my difficult times outweigh the joy you’re speaking of… meet me at this altar. The altar is open for those of you who need a reminder that God hasn’t left you. For the individuals who need to stand in proxy of someone you know going through a midnight situation… meet me at the altar. God is speaking to you too.”

My chest pinches, and my mouth dries. A heavy feeling settles deep in my stomach, and my eyes become glossy. Before I know what’s happening, I start moving out of my row and head toward the front with my eyes on the floor. My heart is beating wildly, and my pulse is racing, but my feet keep moving. When I reach the church's midway point, I hear the choir begin singing, causing tears to drop from my eyes.

“Ain’t no need to worry what the night is gonna bring. It’ll be all over in the morning.” The choir sings as the congregants join in, making my body heavy with the emotions weighing on me.

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