Page 31 of Hooked on Loving Him

“Rema and her best friend, Carleen.”

“Where was Humphrey when this happened?”

“So check this. Humphrey, Rema, and Carleen had a threesome the week prior, making me jealous and curious because Humphrey’s face held pleasure and bliss, making me put a plan in motion. I saw one of those newly released from prison cards on the kitchen counter two days later, and it was like fate was working with me. I stole money from Humphrey’s wallet and went to the ex-con's house. I paid the nigga to fuck Humphrey so his ass would be sleep while I got firsthand experience with a threesome between Rema, her girl, and I,” I say with a sinister grin I can’t contain.

“Wow. Where were your brothers when all this went down?”

“Luckily for me, Jawaan and Kyce wanted to attend an away football game. I faked being sick so I could get my dick wet. Fucking two women who not only happily took my dick but also taught me how to stroke their pussy had been nirvana.”

Silence spreads throughout the office as Letitia’s hand scurries over the notebook in her lap. The grin slides from my lips when Ashari’s look from this morning enters my mind replacing the blissful haze fucking Rema and Carleen had me in.

“It’s crazy that Ashari didn’t throw her ass in a circle like Rema, Carleen, Honesty, and the rest of the women I’ve fucked did. Like, every other time I’ve had a woman in that position, my nut met me without fail. Shit, I could have told Ashari’s ass to invest in some lube because her pussy didn’t get as wet as I’m used to, but I didn’t. Yet, her ass wanted to call me fucking Johnny Five,” I say as my chest pinches and my mouth twists, making me desperate to erase the look on Ashari’s face.

“Before I provide my thoughts, let me ask another question,” Letitia says, causing me to focus on her as she hits the notebook with the pencil.

“Go ahead.”

“How long did you carry on a sexual relationship with Rema?”

“Ow, man. Fucking Rema’s ass had become my favorite pastime, especially after Humphrey died. It felt like Rema was addicted to my dick, and my young ass loved every minute of it.”

“So, how long did it go on?”

“Up until two years after my emancipation from foster care,” I say, deadpan, as my pain stretches across my chest at the memory of what led to me backing off Rema’s conniving ass.

“Why? I mean, you seem like having sex with Rema was the best thing ever, so what changed?”

“Becoming Lance.”

“I don’t understand. Please clarify.”

“Rema’s ass tried to pin a baby on me.”

Letitia’s eyes bulge so fast that I step back, waiting to see if the mothafucker will fall from their sockets. Again, her mouth opens and closes for a few seconds before she blinks, while her back slams into the back of her chair.

“You got her pregnant,” she says as if the words are causing her some pain.

“Hell no. Rema didn’t know that I had heard her telling our bitch ass social worker that she was unable to have children, which is why she had become a foster parent. Her conniving ass had a sonogram and everything, trying to convince me that we were having a baby. The shit disgusted me so much I stopped returning her calls and blocked her stupid ass.”

Sometime after one a.m.

Getting in bed around ten and still unable to fall asleep is grinding my gears, but it's what’s happening. I have been lying here replaying Letitia’s words over and over in my head as my chest clenches and unclenches with a stabbing pain I’m unable to reconcile. No one has ever called me on my shit or made me consider the effects or consequences I’ve never received from my actions. I didn’t see a problem with what I’d been doing until Letitia damn near broke me down to my fucking ankle socks.

“While the pregnancy scare is unfortunate, I’m happy it happened. Somewhere between the first escapade and the scare, you romanticized what was going on between you and Rema Gardner. I believe that you have been using sex as a weapon to allow you to hide behind the scars you refuse to fully acknowledge.”

When Letitia didn’t say anything for nearly ten minutes after my last rant, I sat my ass on her couch and waited until she was able to speak. It seems that Letitia has gotten her bearings and is about to lay my ass bare. My pulse races and my heartbeat sounds in my ears as Letitia continues.

“Let me enlighten you on why the situation between you and Ashari is drastically different in comparison to the baseless fucking you’ve done with everyone else. Kayshon, you were a vulnerable teenager having sex with grown women who guided the encounters according to their needs. Their needs never had you, your feelings, your mental capacity, or your performance in mind. As a result, your naïve and traumatized ass adopted fucking as a sport that you wielded like a sword. Now, here you are offended because Ashari left you when, in actuality, you should be ashamed of what took place between you and the woman you claim you want something long-term with. You fucked Ashari like a headless rubber pussy without feeling, consideration, or effort, so I’m pretty sure her pussy didn’t get wet because you never gave it a reason to be excited,much like the woman connected to it. What’s sadder to me is that Ashari isn’t completely done with you because she should be.”

Well damn, Letitia. Where is your professionalism?

“Man, how are you coming at me like this and so aggressively, Letitia? How would them people feel about how you handle your clients?”

“What you fail to realize is the error of your ways. Therefore, my professionalism has to take a back seat so I can get low enough for you to understand and comprehend my words.”

“Damn. Why are you saddened by Ashari, though?”

“Her words tell me that she’s not fully done with you, and you’re too cocky to see the lifeline she gave you. Do better hits much different than lose my address or stay away from me.”

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