Page 3 of Hooked on Loving Him

Nobody will ever be able to prevent the nightmares I’ve been suffering from at watching the death of both parents. I’m unsure what sparrow this lady thinks God watches, but He did a horrible job paying attention to me. To make matters worse… today is my ninth birthday. Nine years and a hollowness in my chest where the organ of feeling no longer exists.

The dryness in my throat causes me to stop talking and open my eyes. The room is blurry from the tears continuously falling as Letitia extends a box of tissues toward me. My chest pinches as I take the box from her. My limbs feel limp, and my brain becomes foggy, causing fatigue.

“How about we stop here? I can see the weight of sharing this information, and I don’t want to push you to keep going. I also recommend our next appointment for this time next week. Does that work with you?”

Hell nah, that doesn’t work. I feel like my damn emotions have been through an incinerator right now, and you want me to come back to do the shit all over again.

Biting my inner cheek, I fight against the urge to be held as I roughly remove the water from my eyes and cheeks. I’ve said so many things during this meeting that I’m unable to adequately formulate a verbal response to Letitia’s question. Standing, I head toward the exit, turn the knob, and attempt to leave before Mom’s face flashes before my eyes, forcing me to turn toward Letitia.

“I’ll be here.”

“Come on,Sassy. We’ve got two more miles to go, and your ass is dragging. I’m gonna have to lay off the milk bones if they’re causing you to be lazy.” Running backward, I look at Sassy. She slowly runs to keep up with me, and her tongue hangs out of her mouth.

Sassy is my Doberman, and adopting her from the animal shelter gave me a companion I didn’t realize I needed until after she took up residence in my empty home. For the last three weeks, I have been coming toGripley Parkfor a three-mile run, but Sassy doesn’t seem to be enjoying it. My girl is anything but athletic, and her demeanor hasn’t changed despite my efforts to develop a new routine. I understand that it’s five in the morning, but my schedule can be full and hectic, so if I’m gonna keep thishabit, it will have to be at this time. So Sassy better get her shit together because if I have to be at the park, her little ass has to be here.

Returning to the front, I pivot and nearly collide with a woman who shrieks before changing her direction as she continues running past me.

“Damn. How can sweat smell so heavenly?” I ask, stopping in my tracks to watch the woman’s retreating back as Sassy immediately lies on the pavement. “You are?—”

*zzip, zzip*

The vibrating in my ear stops me from teasing Sassy about not being worth a damn as I tap my earpiece and answer the incoming call. “What’s good?”

“I had to put this ho out so I could head home. I ain’t got time to be boo-loving and shit. It’s Monday, and these hos don’t have a concept of work. Where the hell did they come from, bro?” Jawaan rants as soon as the call connects, causing me to shake my head and begin a light jog, causing Sassy to huff.

“She came from her mama and whatever gutter you found her in last night.”

Jawaan’s laughter in my ear causes a smile as I pick up my speed to get my heart rate back to normal. Jawaan is the little brother my parents hadn’t given me, but life had blessed me with receiving. Meeting him when I was nine had been one of the highlights of my fucked-up existence. The first highlight had been meeting our big brother, Kyce, that same day. Jawaan and Kyce are my brothers from another and my best friends. My lifeis better because someone saw fit to add the two of them to it, and I’m eternally grateful.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I said after Kyce’s shooting, I would stay my ass outta Ms. Jody’s Place, but this skeezer from around the way hit me up to meet there.”

“Nigga, your young ass is foul for calling that girl a skeezer.”

“I saw an old head call a chick that in some movie I was watching the other day, and the shit stuck. Sue me.”

“I ain’t got time to play with you. I’m already out of breath and trying to get Sassy’s lazy ass to keep up so we can get done,” I say as my chest tightens and my breathing increases.

“Fuck you at, bro?” Jawaan’s tone instantly becomes hostile as warmth invades my body from his reaction.

“Jogging atGripley Park. It’s something Letitia suggested after confirming my appointment.”

“Who the hell is Letitia? Nigga, I know you ain’t went and found someone like Kyce did. I swear I need new brothers because this shit is so crazy. These niggas are about to leave me out here alone. Boo-loving is the devil, bro. Whoever she is, jump out the pussy and stay away from the light, Kay-ann.”

I damn near trip over the crack in the pavement from laughing at Jawaan’s high-pitched fearful tone as Sassy starts barking.

*woof, woof, woof*

“That’s right, Sassy girl. Tell this nigga it ain’t a good look and that you don’t want a step mama,” Jawaan adds.

“It’s too early to be fucking around with you and Sassy. Bye, nigga,” I say.

“Please don’t go. Please don’t go,” Jawaan starts singing, causing me to tap the earpiece, disconnecting the call on his dumb, unserious ass.

“These are fire,” a young cat says, holding the latestK. Pattdesign while bobbing his head.

A smile graces my lips at the gleam and stars in his eyes because today is the debut of this shoe, and I’ve been nervous about how consumers will react to them. Unlike most people, I went to college so I could position myself for greatness. Being an employee never interested me, but becoming an entrepreneur made me dream big. At the age of seven, I found my love for tennis shoes, which pushed me to find my purpose in life. It took me a while to get things moving, but I’m the proud founder and owner ofK. Patt Kicks. Owning and operating a tennis shoe store hasn’t been easy, but damn if it isn’t worth it every time someone buys a shoe in my store. Not only do I sell every shoe on the market, but I also have recently begun rolling out shoes designed by me.

“Thanks. What do you like about them?” I ask.

---