Page 46 of Bear Strength

My first instinct is to rush back inside, but hearing his voice calms me down. It’s only Mason.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks me.

“Mhm,” I nod, feeling the chill of the night air blow right through me. “I’m not sure if it’s only the new bed or there’s something more.”

“It’s OK,” he tells me. “ Fear is good. It’s what keeps you on your toes. And, it’s good to be on your toes.”

“I guess,” I sigh. “I’m just tired of constantly being on my toes, you know?”

“I know what can cure that,” he smiles at me a little too mischievously, and at first, I’m not sure what exactly he means. “It’s not the girliest drink, but I’ve got some Johnnie Walker Black Label over at the big kitchen. I could get some and we can go back inside.”

I chuckle at the idea, feeling like a teenager who’s snuck out of her bedroom, without her parents knowing, so she candrink and make out with her boyfriend. Or, maybe boyfriends? I like that option better.

“I don’t remember the last time I had some hard liquor in me,” I sigh.

“Then, it’s time you got some,” he winks. “I’ll go get it.”

And, before I can say another word, he disappears in one of the nearby shacks. A few moments later, I hear footsteps. I turn to the side, quickly, ready to react, my heart pounding like crazy. But, it takes me only a moment to recognize two familiar faces.

“Is this the night of the full Moon or something, so no one’s getting any sleep?” I wonder, as Adrian and Wagner walk over to me.

“Adrian sleeps maybe 3 hours every night,” Wagner explains. “Then, he takes walks. I guess after years of bunking with him in the same shack, I’ve overtaken his routines.”

“That’s not so bad,” I smile. “Is 3 hours enough?”

“You can train your body to function with even less. As long as you make up for the lost energy in some other way, like good nutrients.”

“I see,” I nod.

At that moment, Mason returns with the bottle, and two glasses.

“I didn’t know we had more guests,” he sneered at the guys.

After about 10 minutes, all of us found ourselves in the shack I was staying at with Dominick. The guys promised they would behave and be quiet. Although, I’m not sure I trusted them. Still, I went along with it. As I get comfortable, I jump to make sure that Dominick’s door is closed. He’s sleeping. My little angel.

I return to the kitchen, where Mason has already served our drinks, and they are waiting on the kitchen table. I sit down,and despite all logic, I look at these three men around me, and I feel safe. I feel invincible. I don’t even care about that letter any longer. Maybe it would be best to finally end this chapter. I can’t constantly keep running away. The path would eventually end. Better make it end under my own terms, than under his.

“You OK?” I hear Mason ask, after a while. “You look lost in your own thoughts.”

“It’s a little bit of that, and a little bit of this,” I raise my empty glass. “It really hits the spot.”

We all chuckle, trying to be as silent as we can, but it’s hard when we’re having fun.

I don’t know how much time has passed, but I know that I never want this night to end. I listen to the guys’ banter, and I enjoy the looks they give me. Everything about tonight has a dreamy quality. I feel like I conjured up this whole scene, like they are just a figment of my poor, stressed out imagination. Occasionally, my hand reaches out to touch them, just to make sure they are here, they are real. A brush of the hand here. A pat on the shoulder there.

When I glance at the bottle a bit later, I realize it’s half empty. How much have I had to drink? I stopped counting ages ago. But, only because it feels so good. Luckily, I called Old Bill and asked for a day off. He was nice enough to agree. Susie mentioned that he’s hired another girl, so hopefully, it’ll be easier to arrange shifts now. That also means we’ll work longer hours, as Old Bill wants to keep it open an hour or two later than usual. That’s fine. I don’t mind. I like working there. I like him, and I like Susie. I like Adrian, despite his social awkwardness. I like Wagner, despite his overly manly ways. And, I like Mason, despite his need to turn everything into a joke. Or, maybe I like them all exactly because of those things, and not despite them.

I’m babbling now. I feel like there is a balmy veil covering my eyes, and I see colors stronger, more vibrant. Wagner’slaughter is boisterous. Adrian’s face is like a sculpture, perfectly preserved in time. Mason is… well, Mason. There is so much to say about him, and yet, I could probably spill millions of epithets that wouldn’t even come close to describing him exactly the way he is.

I take another glance at my empty glass. My lips are dry. Itching to be kissed. That alcohol only awoke the sleeping monster with the libido of 3 men. That familiar warmth washes over me. I know I’m blushing. I don’t care. My body always finds a way to betray myinnermost thoughts and desire. I should probably be used to it by now.

I’m not even sure what the guys are talking about. It’s something funny. Must be. They’re all laughing. I want to glide my fingers along their skin. I want to feel the touch of their lips on my burning flesh. But, I can’t make the first move. I’m frozen in the same spot where I’m sitting. I dare not move. I can just watch these beautiful, gorgeous men before me, and dream of the moment they might touch me.

“Danica, you look tired,” Adrian is the first to say something.

“Oh, maybe just a little,” I giggle, pressing my index finger against my lips. “But, shhhh.”

“I think you’re tired and a little bit drunk,” Wagner chuckles.

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