Page 52 of Bear Strength

I hear running. Scurrying feet. Then she bursts through the open door. She is flushed. Her eyes are wide. She’s still holding the red lacy bra in her hand. The sound stopped her mid-packing.

“What was that?” she asks, shivering. “That sounded like someone broke my window.”

“I’ll go check it out,” I reply, worried. But, I don’t let it show. “You stay here.”

“I can’t stay here alone…. Please, let me come with you.”

“If we stumble onto someone, they might attack you. So, instead of attacking them, I’ll be defending you. Trust me, you’ll be much safer here. Just close the door, prop it with a chair or something, and hide. Don’t make a sound. When I come back, I’ll call out. Got it?”

“Mhm,” she nods. She’s even more frightened now than before.

I know she doesn't like the idea of staying alone. But, coming with me is the worst thing she can do. She just needs to stay put, and hide.

“Good girl,” I lean over and kiss her on the forehead.

I close the door behind me, hoping it’s nothing, but I can’t find a good explanation for a broken window in the evening.

CHAPTER 23

The moment Wagner leaves the room, I push Dominick’s chair under the doorknob, but I know that won’t do much. I need to hide. But, where? Under the bed and in the closet are the only options, one worse than the other. As I try to come up with a more original solution to my problem, I can feel my engorged heart palpitating in my throat, making it increasingly harder to breathe.

I look around the room. It’s completely dark. The street lamps outside shed barely any light through the open window. I wonder why it’s open. Did I leave it open? That doesn’t sound like me. Maybe Dominick left it open, but I doubt he concerns himself with either opening it or closing it.

Suddenly, I hear some commotion outside. I can’t recognize the sound. All I know is that it’s an unwelcome one. Adrenaline surges through my veins. My heart beats like it’s trying to escape the cage of my chest. I crouch down, feeling every muscle in my body tighten. I know what my body wants to do. It wants to run. It wants to run the Hell out of this house. But, that’s not an option. The only thing I can do is stay where I am. Like Wagner told me.

I listen to the sound of silence intently. Expectant. Hopeful for God knows what. My adrenaline rushes through my system so hard this time that I almost vomit. Saliva thickens in the back of my throat, returning, with the acidic remnants of my lunch. Sweat trickles down my forehead, down my temples. I’m trying to calm down my breathing, but that’s impossible.

I feel frozen in time and space. I know that at some point I’ll need to move. I’ll need to awaken my sleeping muscles. I cantry to tell myself that fear is just a concoction of brain chemicals. I’m creating it for myself. It’s probably nothing. Wagner will be back any minute. He’s probably coming up the stairs now.

As if responding to the unspoken wishes of my amygdala, all of a sudden I hear noise on the staircase. I almost gasp, but I manage to suffocate the sound. It remains inside my tightly pressed lips, hiding behind the palm of my right hand. I scuttle over to the corner of the room, crouching like a wounded animal. Is there a point in hiding underneath the bed? Or in the closet? This way, I’ll know straightforward who it is. I’ll see them. They’ll see me, too. But, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

A moment passes. A moment as long as the day. Then, another one. It seems even longer. The sound of the creaking staircase has ceased. The house is silent again. Eerily silent. Threateningly silent. The only thing I’m grateful for is that Dominick isn’t here.

The doorknob jiggles, as if someone is trying to open it. It’s not locked. All they need to do is push it harder, and the chair will move. It will give way. The moment the door opens, it’ll all be over. Wouldn’t Wagner just open the door straightforward? Would he call out to me? Should I call out to him? He said not to, but…

I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. Only hot air oozes out of it, my life force, my courage. I’m growing weaker by the second. What’s happened to Wagner? He should be back by now.

The doorknob relaxes. It stops moving. I stop breathing for a few moments. Dark silence fills my chest. I feel like my heart followed suit and it stopped beating. Is this it?

The door suddenly flies open. There is a shadow in the doorway. It’s tall, muscular, lean. Why isn’t Wagner talking? Why isn’t he calling out to me, like we agreed?

“Come out, come out, wherever you are…”

Those words just poured gasoline onto the spark deep inside my mind. It can’t be. It just can’t be. I feel icy, liquid metal in my mouth. My brain remembering the taste of my own blood. More times than I can remember. I clench my fists. My fingers are trembling. I know he sees me.

I fight the impulse to lunge at him, despite knowing that I’ve got nothing on him. He’ll smash me against the wall, like so many times before. That paralyzing hurt will awaken again, and I won’t know what to do. How to act. My throat is refusing to cooperate and scream. My jaw is tight. I feel the fiery iciness of the tears I’m trying to suppress. Reality finally taps its way back into my brain. I’m not who I used to be anymore. I’m not helpless.

I stand up, my body filling a void.

“Why don’t you turn on the lights so I can see you better?” he growls. I remember Little Red Riding Hood. All the better to eat you with.

“What… are you doing here?” I ask, my voice still not my own, but I make it work.

“No hug?” he chuckles grimly. In the darkness, I see a flash of his white teeth. Bleached to perfection. That smile I fell in love with the moment I saw it. “No welcome home?”

“Answer my question,” I order, creating a facade of bravery, which stands on overly flimsy feet.

“You’re in no position to make any demands, Danny.”

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