Page 41 of Bear Strength

“I need to get my son and leave this place,” I tell him, sounding broken.

“Wait, what?” he exclaims, opening the door, and almost dragging me out of the car. “What are you talking about, Danica?”

“This,” I shove the letter in his hand.

He opens it, looks at it, and then lifts his gaze to meet mine. He doesn’t understand. Of course he doesn’t. But, I believe he can guess.

“What are you running from?” he asks me again.

“He will find me,” I whisper, looking around.

The usually pleasant and calm little town of Swallow Springs looks ominous now. Every tree hides a shadow, every bush is large enough for a man to conceal in it. Even the sun seems to have found a cloud to shield itself from what will undoubtedly happen.

“Who will find you?” Wagner asks me.

I can feel his hands on my shoulders, squeezing me gently. He’s standing in front of me, like he’s guarding me. I want to lay my head on his chest, and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. I want to listen to Adrian read me excerpts from Dracula. I want Mason to be his macho self and make me laugh, as we banter playfully. I want them to keep me and Dominick safe, but can they? Can anyone? Or, am I just involving everyone in grave danger?

“I need to go,” I extract myself from his grasp, unwilling to go, but forcing myself.

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me exactly what’s going on,” I hear determination in his voice and I know he means it. “We promised we’d keep you safe, and we all meant it.”

“I know,” I look down at my feet, biting my lower lip.

He wraps his arms around me. I feel like a tiny little cave at the bottom of an enormous mountain. A cave that knows it’s protected as long as it remains there, safely nestled in the boulders.

“Let’s head over to your house,” I tell him.

“Alright,” he agrees immediately. “You know the way?”

I just nod. He jumps on the bike, and I start right after him. I need to get to Dominick. Fast. The thought that Dominick might be in danger sends shivers down my spine. I step on the gas pedal and rush past Wagner. My baby might need me.

Hold on, sweetie. Momma’s coming.

CHAPTER 18

When we reach the bikers’ place, I park the car and rush outside. But, before I can reach Dominick, Wagner grabs me by the hand. I turn to him, my heart beating wildly. I’m about to push him away for trying to prevent me from seeing my son, but I realize that’s not what he wants.

“Come,” he tells me.

He lets go of my elbow, and I follow closely behind. We start hearing voices, coming from the back of the house. Wagner is in front of me, his body leading the way. His shoulders are broad, a towering monument of manhood. He reminds me of a falcon, with his wings spread wide open, gliding through the air, becoming one with the universe around him.

I envy the falcon. I envy Wagner. And, Mason. And, Adrian. They found what they were looking for. One another. They created a safe haven for themselves, from all those who are different, who want to hurt them. They protect one another. They are brothers, if not by blood, then by mere desire to keep one another safe, at all cost. I am yet to find that. And, from the looks of it, I’m not doing a damn good job of it.

The voices are growing louder. It’s laughter. I hear a boy’s laughter, and I recognize it immediately. How could I not? That is the voice that has kept me up at night, from the moment they put him in my arms. He is laughing. I hear merriment and amusement. Is it possible that he is safe, that I’ve created all of this in my mind, out of nothing?

Wagner presses his index finger against his lips. I join him, and the view behind the house opens up before us. Whatever bad thing I thought they were doing there, comescrashing down. I see my son, a huge smile on his face, with a paintbrush in his hand. He is dipping it into the paint. Adrian is standing next to him. He is showing him proper brush strokes. Mason and another guy are standing next to them. They are all covered with paint splatter, as if they’d been throwing paint at one another. The wall also suffered some of it. They are shouting and chuckling. Cracking up.

Wagner isn’t holding me any longer, but I have no desire to walk over to them. Dominick hasn’t seen me yet, so I take a few steps back and hide behind the wall. Wagner follows.

“You see?” he tells me. “Your son is safe with us. Safer than anywhere else. Trust me.”

I sigh. Maybe he’s right. But, we can’t stay here forever.

“Why don’t we have some coffee, and you can tell me all about it?”

He takes me to one of the nearby houses, and opens the door for me. I almost gasp when I walk inside. It looks nothing like the outside. It’s a miniature home. All comfy and cozy. I see a slightly worn out carpet underneath my feet. The curtains are bright, pulled to the side. The windows are sparkling clean. We walk over to the kitchen. It reminds me of a country kitchen, all wooden and rustic, with yellow, sunny elements that make you never want to leave this room.

“I love this place,” I say, as I turn around, soaking up the view.

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