Page 36 of Bear Strength

That worm of suspicion won’t let me be. I was taught, the hard way, not to trust a man. Any man. Especially a man who acts like he cares about me. Those are the most dangerous ones. The ones to be careful with.

“You mean like you’re lying to everyone about your husband dying?”

When I hear him say that, I feel like lightning struck right in the middle of my kitchen, leaving me deaf, mute and blind. All my senses perk up, urging me to run away, to pick up Dominick and just drive away, anywhere, until we run out of gas, and then just keep walking until we can’t walk anymore. But, I don’t do any of that.

I remain seated at the table, with a man who obviously knows everything about me. Fear creeps up on me, its cold hand hugging the back of my neck. It takes all my strength not to scream, not to run away. I think of Dominick. He’s counting on me to be strong, for both of us.

“How do you know about that?” I manage to whimper.

“I told you, no one moves to Swallow Springs without me giving the OK,” he reminds me.

“Did he send you?” I ask the question I’ve been dreading all along.

I stare deep into his eyes. Blue and unfathomable, I can’t tell if they will be my salvation or my burial.

“No, Danica,” he finally replies. “I have no connections with such scum.”

I feel like a huge burden was just lifted off my back, as if I’d been holding up the sky and finally, someone took over.

“I came here to tell you there is nothing to fear,” he continues, his voice dripping like honey into my ears, filling me with joy I haven’t felt in a long time. “You and your boy are safe. No one will harm you, I can promise you that.”

He gets up and walks around the kitchen table. He offers me his hands. I take them. I’m afraid to stand, because I doubt my knees will endure the weight of my body. I feel too weak. My knees have turned to jelly.

But, I stand up. He puts my hands on his chest. He feels rock hard, like his body was chiseled from a mountain and formed into this gorgeous man I see before me. His hands find my waist. The burning sensation of his touch makes me even dizzier.

“We will keep you safe,” he whispers, his lips so close to mine I can taste the coffee he just had. “I will keep you safe.”

With those words, he kisses me softly, his lips a perfect fit against mine. He smells like the forest, like motor oil and black rubber, and it’s a smell I never want to get off of me. I want to enshroud myself in it, bathe in it so that it becomes one with my breath.

I don’t know how long we remain like that, our lips pressed together. I expect tongue, but there is none. His fingers dig into the sides of my body, pressing me harder against him. His chest is pressed against my breasts. I can barely breathe, but I feel like I don’t need to breathe, as long as he’s here, as long as his arms are around me.

When he lets go, I have the sensation of walking on clouds. The place where his fingers were are now devoid of his touch, and I feel emptiness. His hands belong on my body. I know that now. And all this time, I’ve been trying to fight this feeling, but the more I fought it, the stronger it became. It grew, and grew,until it filled all four chambers of my heart. Now, I can’t escape it any longer. I can’t pretend the feeling isn’t there. It’s easier just to give in, to finally believe that when a man says he’ll keep me safe, he will really do it.

“Adrian will bring back Dominick later today,” he smiles at me.

I believe him. I believe everything he says. My mind is asleep, dazed by the enormous amount of happiness I feel right now. My heart is full. It’s fuller than it’s ever been. For the first time in ages, I finally feel like maybe, just maybe I found my new home. The place I can start growing some roots. The place Dominick will see as home, too.

We both need it. We’ve been through so much. Too much. Sometimes, the amount of pain I see in his eyes scares me. I just want to hide him away from the world. I want to keep him inside the house and never let him go out. But, I can’t do that.

He needs to lead a normal life. We both need it. We both deserve it. Maybe Mason can help us obtain that.

“Thanks,” I tell him, feeling my cheeks blush just a little.

He walks out of my house slowly. He doesn’t turn around, but he knows I’m right behind him. I wave as he sits on his bike and drives away. When I close the door, my heart is still beating crazily, with no intention of stopping. And, that’s OK. We’re safe here. Nothing can hurt us.

CHAPTER 16

Adrian

We reach Dominick’s home quickly. He gets off the bike first. He takes off his helmet. The smile on his face tells me he’s happy. He likes spending time with us. He doesn’t say it, but it shows. He speaks of his mother on occasion. There is tenderness in his voice when he says her name, her title. They are close. As it should be.

He runs to the door and unlocks it. She isn’t here. I feel a pang of disappointment that I don’t get to give her the book in person. It’s nothing really. Not a gift in the real sense of the word. I don’t know when her birthday is. Some cultures celebrate name days. We don’t, but, maybe she does. It doesn’t matter. It’s not Christmas either. It’s just another day. A Saturday.

Dominick told me about her love of reading. My home library is scarce. I’m sad to say that. I miss the books that burned down with the home we previously lived in. It’s difficult traveling on a motorcycle with books. Moving, too.

“Come on in,” Dominick tells me, when he sees I’m standing in the doorway. “If you’re a vampire, I just invited you in and you’re free to feast on me.” Dominick laughs.

He told me that his mother read Dracula to him last year. He also told me they both liked it. Of course they would. It’s a classic. His mother has good taste in books. People with good taste in books are good people. They aren’t judgmental. Evil people can’t like good books.

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