Page 21 of Bear Strength

I wave at Fred whose head peeps from the kitchen window, and he waves back. He’s in his early forties, but due to his weight, he looks at least ten years younger. I’ve noticed the looks he gives Susie, but she is too smitten by Hunter. Honestly, I doubt she’d even be attracted to Fred if he came forward with his feelings. But, you never know.

I get into my car, with the previously set plan to just go home and do some yard work. The lawn is in desperate need of a trim, and the weeds are trying to occupy my flower bed. However, another plan starts hatching. I want to drive by the bikers’ place and see what Dominick is doing. They won’t be expecting me, so that’s the perfect moment to see what they’re really doing and put my mind at ease.

With a determined smile on my face, I head over there. I pass a few streets, a woman with a stroller, a couple of cyclists and a small lever that was lowered, but lifted even without atrain having passed. I reach my destination shortly after and park a little further down the street. I return on foot.

The place is calm. There are less people than last time. Only two bikes are there, settled nicely away from the building. The gravel crunches as I walk over, as confidently as I can. I try not to remember how they laughed at me last time. It doesn’t matter. They can laugh at me all they want. I’m not here to be judged or to be liked. I’m here to see if my boy is safe. Nothing else matters.

I walk a little down the road, to the house. I stop behind a pile of rubble. It doesn’t hide me fully from plan view, but it’s good enough. I see the house. I hear voices behind it. One of them is Dominick’s. It sounds like he’s laughing. He’s joined in by two other voices. They’re all laughing now.

I check the time on my watch. It’s only 3 pm. He won’t be returning for a few hours. Maybe I should just leave before he sees me, and thinks I’m trying to control him. Obviously, he’s having fun. I’m probably blowing this way out of proportion. He’s just painting the wall, after all. They won’t recruit him. I mean… will they?

I turn around to go, but I crash right into someone, who’s obviously been standing right behind me for a while. I take a step back, stifling a gasp of shock. I wasn’t expecting to see Mason. Not like this, anyway.

“Sorry, I….” I start, fully aware that it’s not my place to apologize here.

But, it’s ingrained in me. Years of apologizing for something I haven’t done have actually made me believe that no matter what happens, I should apologize first.

“Came to see if we’re brainwashing your son?” he asks.

I know to him it sounds like he’s just joking, but he’s closer to the truth than he knows. I swallow heavily, trying to smile.

“I just wanted to see if he’s OK,” I admit.

“You really don’t trust us.”

“I haven’t said that,” I try.

“But, you’re showing it,” he continues. “Even after I sent Adrian with a helmet for Dominick.”

“I really appreciate that…”

“Maybe you’d like to come and see him?”

“No, no,” I shake my head fervently. He seems surprised I’d refuse it so strongly. “I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him.”

“So, it’s him you don’t trust, not us?” he asks.

I sigh heavily, looking around. There is no one.

“It’s actually both,” I answer, feeling a wave of confidence wash over me.

To my surprise, Mason starts laughing. His lips widen, revealing a perfectly straight, white set of teeth. Little lines appear around his mouth, but it only adds to his charm.

“At least you’re honest,” he tells me. “Listen, I know we sound like the worst pieces of shit around here, but trust me. We’re not. I’ll even let you in on a secret…” Now, it’s his turn to lean closer to me, first checking whether there’s anyone around us. “Half of that stuff they say we did isn’t true. It’s just gossip. You know, to make them think we’re horrible pieces of shit.”

I chuckle at the choice of his words, even though I’m not a fan of such humor.

“OK then,” I suddenly remember the story Susie told me, and decide to check it from the source. Whether the source will be truthful or not, now that’s a whole different ball game. “What about Sam Michaels?”

He recognizes the name. His brow furrows just enough to reveal his surprise. His face changes and he gives me a strange look. It takes him a moment or two to come up with a reply.

“How do you know about Sam Michaels?” he says, not really offering a response at first.

“Like you said, word gets around.”

I feel a certain sense of victory. Of course, I’m well aware that Mason will probably lie to me. He’ll say that he either doesn’t know what happened or that he had nothing to do with it. Whatever of those two choices. Still, something wouldn’t let me turn around and just walk away. Deep down, I want to remain here and talk to this man, who awakens so many different, conflicting sensations inside of me. I fear him, and yet I want to remain close to him. He excites me, but I want him at a safe distance from me. For now, I decide to stay, wanting to see where all this will lead.

“Well, since you are asking so nicely…” he starts, then pauses to take something out of his right pocket. It’s a used out package of Marlboro’s. He offers me one, but I shake my head. “Strange. I’d have pegged you as a smoker. No offense.”

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