Page 20 of Bear Strength

“Same,” she replies.

“I can wait, if Dominick isn’t ready.”

“Well, we’re still having breakfast,” she sounds apologetic. She hesitates a little. “Would you like to come in while you wait?”

“No, thank you,” I reply. She looks surprised, but relieved. “I can wait outside. It’s a nice day.”

“Well, alright then,” she smiles a little awkwardly, not sure if she should just leave it at that.

A moment or two pass, and she closes the door. I walk back to the bike and stand by it. A woman and a man walk out of the house across the street. Her dress is slightly above her knees, and she is clutching a bag to her right. The man is wearing a business suit, and the keys jangle in his hands. He doesn’t even notice me as he walks over to his car. She does, but pretends not to. I watch them as they drive away a minute or two later.

Her face strikes me as familiar, even though I’m not sure why. I’ve never seen her before. She looks just like any other woman I see on the streets every day. She doesn’t smile when she sees me. None of them do. I’m not even sure I want them to. All I still see before me are the crooked faces, laughing, their teeth stained yellow. The sound of circus music rings inside my mind. Pain. Just pain, from early on.

At that moment, I hear the door open, and Dominick rushes out. His mother follows. Her hands are crossed in front ofher breasts. She is still barefoot, so she remains on the doorstep. She gives him a kiss on the head. Quick. Soft. Motherly. Dominick looks a little embarrassed, but he smiles. He rushes over to me.

“Please, don’t drive too fast,” I hear her say.

Her voice trembles barely noticeably. She thought long and hard whether or not she should say that. She is worried. Of course, she is. Mothers usually are, when they need to let their children go.

“I promise you he will be fine,” I tell her.

I’m only being honest, and I think she can tell. I’m not saying it just to make her feel better. I put the helmet on the boy’s head. It fits perfectly. I adjust it underneath his chin, making sure it stays on firmly.

“How is it?” I ask him.

“Perfect!” he replies in a way only a child can. Excited. Full of joy.

He waves at his mother as he gets up on the bike. After I made sure he’s safe, I sit as well. I don’t know if his mother is still on the doorstep, but I guess she probably is, as we drive away. Mothers are like that.

CHAPTER 11

Seeing Dominick off feels easier this morning. Adrian seems strange. He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Especially taking into account how he talks. Almost like he’s reading a script inside his mind. But, it’s sweet. When he told me that Dominick would be fine, I believed him. I saw him for the first time today, but I believed him, as strange as it may sound.

I walk back into the house and close the door. I make sure to lock it, too. Everyone keeps saying that this is a safe town, a safe neighborhood, but they don’t know what I know. They haven’t gone through what I have. They don’t know that something from the past might come back to haunt them. That is why the door always needs to be locked.

As I pass by the kitchen wall, I check the wall calendar. It’s still not that time. I could check, of course, but the results won’t be updated yet. I need to be a little more patient.

I clean up the kitchen table quickly. I do the dishes. I prefer not to use the washer. It wastes water. Besides, when there’s only two people in a household, there are never that many dishes. I change the water in the little vase, and the flowers immediately perk up. I adjust the curtain on the kitchen window, having a quick glance outside. It overlooks the back part of the house. The yard extends a little more, and then there is the view of another house. I’ve seen a lady there once. We waved to each other once, but neither of us was all that willing to make the first step towards anything friendlier than that. And, that’s alright. The last thing I want to be is pushy in making new friends.

I get dressed quickly, picking the first dress out of my closet. The pickings are slim. Not that I mind, though. When you need to leave in the middle of the night, you don’t really pack a lot of stuff. Just the basics. The stuff you don’t want to leave behind, still making sure not to be burdened too heavily by it. Running away is difficult business.

It’s a light summer dress, with sunflowers on it. It’s long enough to cover my knees, something I used to be especially particular with before. Now, not so much. No one is calling me a whore if I wear something a little shorter or more revealing. But, in all honesty, I don’t feel any need for such clothes. I feel perfectly fine in a pair of sweatpants and a plain old t-shirt. Still, can’t go to work like that.

I dab a little bit of make up on, just some mascara and lip gloss. When I look at myself in the mirror, I am pleasantly surprised by the result. I actually look presentable, as Susie likes to say.

I grab my bag and keys, and rush outside. If nothing happens on the way there, I’ll be right on time. And, I am. I open the diner, turning over the closed sign. I turn on the lights. Fred will be coming in soon. Bill might, as well. He comes in less and less frequently. I can see the exhaustion on his face. He’s not a young man any longer. He should rest more. Just stay at home and do something that relaxes him. But, I don’t know him that well yet, to share such personal advice. So, I just smile when I see him, leaving the well-mannered advice for Susie and Rocky, who’ve been working here much longer than I have.

My shift passes quickly. It’s busy. I see familiar faces, and even some new ones, passing through our little town. It’s strange how I came to call this place our little town in such a short amount of time. I guess that’s a good thing. It means I feel at home. I feel safe. Well, as safe as I could ever feel, under these circumstances. I wonder if Dominick feels the same way. We’restill close, but he’s hitting that age when a boy can’t confide only in his mother. We had no issues before, but then, he was a boy. He’s slowly becoming a young man, and I fear that a day will come when I will no longer be enough for him. A boy needs a father. He needs a male role model to guide him through life.

I try not to dwell on it too much though. If he feels safe here, then that is more than enough. We’ll deal with whatever comes our way, together.

My shifts ends, and I stay an hour longer to help Susie, even though she assures me there is no need. I still do so. Once the crowd cleared up a little, I head out.

“Thanks for helping out,” Susie smiles behind the counter.

“You’ve helped me out so many times, I should be thanking you every time I see you,” I smile back. “See you tomorrow.”

“Sure thing, darling!”

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