Page 11 of Bear Strength

Both Susie and I chuckle at his comment, as he gobbles down on his food, as he does every single day. Susie told me before that his wife died about 10 years earlier, and he just kept on going, thinking every subsequent year would be his last. But, the last one is still yet to come.

I wonder what his wife was like. Was she a smiling image of an old lady with a green thumb, and together, they’d spend mornings chipping away at the weeds in their garden, and afternoons with a cold drink of lemonade, in their rockingchairs? The simple life is something I always wanted. Perhaps because my life has always been anything but simple. Anything but normal. I figured, at least once I’m an adult and am the master of my own destiny, I’ll be able to have things as I want them. I’ll prevent car accidents that might steal loved ones from me. I’ll be able to say what I really believe, what I really feel. I will be able to protect myself and those I love from what I feel is unfair.

How deluded I’ve been, thinking all this. I can’t protect anyone. I can barely protect myself. But, I know I must try. Dominick is all I have, and I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone hurt him.

“I just dropped by for a cup of Joe,” Susie tells me, with a glow on her face I haven’t seen before.

“I can hardly believe that,” I wink at her. “You look too nice for just a coffee at our place.”

“Well,” I hear her say, as she looks around, to make sure that no one is listening. In these places, you could never be sure. “Hunter finally asked me out.”

It’s a little strange, hearing a woman of almost 40 talk about dating and someone asking her out. You expect women of her age to be married, with kids in school. But, Susie isn’t. In a way, I understand her. Slim pickings in this place. Those that are worth anything are already taken. As it is everywhere. And the rest of us, left single, are alone for a reason. Broken. Who’d want to fix us?

“Well, about time,” I reply, trying to imagine Susie and Hunter on a date.

I’ve only seen him once, when he stumbled into the diner, thinking it was Susie’s shift. He saw me, greeted me politely enough, but got all confused, finally replying that he’ll come back later to eat. I chuckled only after he left the diner, and understood when Susie explained it that afternoon. Theyare both somewhat awkward, and I could only hope that their awkwardness would be of the same kind, so they could get warm next to each other, during cold nights. Lord knows I miss that.

Sometimes, I’d still wake up, for a single breathless moment thinking he’s there. Fear would merge with excitement, my blood would run hot then cold. It would take my mind a fraction of a second to remind itself that my bed is empty, save for my own palpitating body. The other one would be sound asleep in his own room, and occasionally, I’d tiptoe to his room, open the door just a little, to make sure everything’s alright. It’s difficult to convince your heart of this, when you know that danger is out there. It is always out there, for as long as it lives. And, you can’t kill it.

“He asked me out to a movie. You know, the drive in, in Rock Falls?”

“I’ve heard of it,” I nod. “Haven’t been, though. You must tell me if it’s worth any. I’m thinking of taking Dom there while the weather’s nice.”

“How is he doing?” she asks considerately, as always.

“Oh, you know,” I nod, glancing at the door, even though I didn’t hear the bell ring. The diner is half empty, and I’m guessing the guests that are finishing their dinners would be our last customers for the day. “Boys.” I sigh heavily, more heavily than I intended to.

“Did something happen?” she asks again, reading me like an open book.

I’ve never been a good liar, even though you’d think that life has taught me better. I just can’t. Especially not when I know someone isn’t asking just out of politeness, but out of genuine interest and concern, as Susie always does.

“He got into a fight at school,” I reply, wiping the counter with a kitchen towel, just after I serve her the coffee she wanted.

“A fight?” she repeats, waving her hand dismissively. “That’s nothing to worry about. I’d be worried if my son didn’t get into an occasional fight at school. I mean, if I had one, of course.”

“Well, we sorted that out,” I continue, putting the kitchen towel back, then leaning closer to her. “But, then, a few days ago, someone knocks on my door. It was late afternoon, and I dozed off. So, I drag myself to the door, and what do I see? My son being brought home by one of those bikers.”

“The Hellraisers?” she says that name, and I can’t help but see the glow on her face turn to fear.

“I think so,” I nod. “What’s the guy’s name?” I pause for a moment. “M something.”

“Mason?”

“Yes, that’s it.”

Susie doesn’t say anything to this. A strange sensation starts creeping up my back, all the way to the nape of my neck.

“What happened?” she inquires, but that fear is still there. As if she knows something, but isn’t sure if she should share it.

“Well, apparently, Dom spray painted their wall or something. Seriously, that boy… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“What did Mason say?” she asks quickly, as if she’s afraid that something terrible happened.

“Um, nothing really,” I shrug. “He was actually very nice. A bit arrogant though. And, those bikes. Just horrible. But, he was very reasonable, and offered to let Dom work off the damage by painting the house.”

“I see,” Susie’s voice is quiet, her lips pressed tightly together.

My eyes search for hers, but she is unwilling to look at me properly. As if I can read something in them, something she’s trying to keep a secret.

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