Page 22 of The Wolf's Secret Baby

“We should investigate this,” Ambrosia said. “It’s important that we know how Vance is planning to fight this war. What if the nature of this weapon is too terrible to comprehend? What if Vance has been so blinded by a lust for violence that he has created something abhorrent that is going to burn everything? We need to be certain for ourselves. I don’t believe you are content to stand by and allow this to happen. Ask yourselves what depths Vance will sink to in order to guarantee victory and then ask yourselves if you’re willing to live with that.”

Her words were persuasive. I could see doubt flicker in Typhon’s eyes, although he was not ready to accept the truth. I was different. Could I envision Vance burning the entire world? Sadly, yes. And he had been acting smug about this weapon that was going to bring him a decisive advantage. He was a cunning man and never engaged in a fight he was not confident he could win. Whatever he had been planning, it was enough to make him feel that he could emerge victorious. Vali had a right to be concerned. We all did, because if Vance felt confident that he was going to win a war then woe betide anyone who got in his way.

“Ambrosia makes sense. We will do what you ask,” I said. There was a look of betrayal in Typhon’s eyes.

“I will form a scouting party to come with you. Rest for now. Then we will take you to one of the compounds,” Vali said.He also promised that someone would be along presently with food. Then, he took his leave of us.

As soon as he walked away, Typhon rounded on me. “How could you do such a thing? Now that we are traitors, Vance is never going to accept us.”

“He was never going to do such a thing anyway. It’s time you opened your eyes Typhon. You can’t possibly still be blinded by him! Besides, aren’t you at least a little curious about what he’s been planning this entire time? We’ve both heard them speak about the secret weapon that is going to ensure his victory. I don’t want to stand by and watch him burn the world, especially when we’re not going to be able to share in the spoils,” I replied.

“It doesn’t mean that you have to betray him, either. This is just a mission to learn what he’s planning, that’s all. You can still decide what you do with that information,” Ambrosia said this more softly than I ever could, and Typhon responded to her gentle nature. “Vance doesn’t know anything that’s happening here. As far as he’s concerned you might well have infiltrated an enemy camp on his behalf.”

Typhon seemed settled by this, and food was brought to us shortly. I bristled with the thought that we were among enemies, but then again it felt that way no matter where we were. The only people I could trust were Typhon and Ambrosia, the rest were a mystery. As we ate there was much on my mind. The path ahead seemed dangerous but at least I wasn’t going to walk it alone. I thought about Ambrosia’s wish to return to her old life, and I couldn’t imagine her being an ordinary person in an ordinary world. She seemed far too important for that, and I didn’t believe she should be wasted on such a thing.

Chapter Seventeen

Typhon

We moved away from the camp. Vali brought two of his warriors with him, both carrying bows and arrows. They were slight but this did not mean they were weak. Strength coiled in their taut muscles, and I could smell the aggression radiating from them. They were not fearful of my brother and I, and for this I had to give them credit. I noticed them glancing towards us, always with suspicion in their eyes. Despite this temporary truce I had to wonder what might happen should Vance learn about the existence of these people. It didn’t escape me that he might be grateful and perhaps would reward us.

I sidled up to Kull and Ambrosia to share this thought. Kull stared at me as though I was speaking in gibberish.

“Typhon, why do you have this need to seek Vance’s approval?” Ambrosia asked in that clinical way of hers. The tone she used was different to the one she used in normal conversation, and I hadn’t yet gotten used to it. I didn’t like the idea that I was being studied or that I was a puzzle she was trying to solve.

“I don’t have such a need,” I growled.

“On the contrary, it seems to be one of your main driving forces. We all have them, you know. They’re present in everyone. For a lot of people, it’s to accrue wealth, others need power, others want love, others want to belong to a large community and feel needed.”

“What’s yours?” I asked in a biting tone. Ambrosia didn’t seem taken aback by the question. In fact, she seemed quite eager to answer.

“It was always to make a difference in the world, to help people. While I was growing up, I noticed so many people who were in pain, undiagnosed pain. As I listened to people’s problems, I realized that they weren’t being helped and I wanted to be the one to help them. It didn’t hurt that I was always interested in getting into people’s heads and learning what made them tick.”

“My mind is not a clock. Perhaps I don’t want to give you a window into my thoughts.”

She looked at me slyly. “I thought we were beyond that Typhon, what with all we’ve shared.”

Kull masked a laugh at this.

“I just don’t feel the need to talk about these things. I am the way I am, and I feel the way I feel. Does it need to be any more complicated than that?”

“No, but if we speak about them, it can help you come to an understanding about what you truly want and why you want these things. Because at the moment this desire to prove yourself to Vance and be rewarded by him is only going to be a cause of anguish. The outcome is not under your control, and you can’t be sure that there’s anything you can do to earn his respect. Surely you can see that by now? If this is the measure for meaning and success in your life, then perhaps you could reframe your definitions of these words; and you would be happier because of it.”

“There’s always a way to earn his respect. I’m sure he would be happy if we returned with the location of an enemy camp, or even prisoners,” I said in a low voice, making sure that our new companions could not overhear my words. Kull rolled his eyes and grunted with dissatisfaction, while Ambrosia tilted her head. She kept her face devoid of emotion, as though she was wearing a mask.

“Typhon, have you ever considered that this need to win his approval may not entirely be a part of you?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“Well, it’s just that from the way you were born, you were engineered to have certain qualities, like ambition. In you this has presented itself as a desire to become one of the leaders of the pack and to earn the understanding and respect of your peers. But one of the things that separates beings of higher intelligence from animals is the ability to surpass our nature. This feeling you have may not be something to aspire to but rather an obstacle that you need to overcome. You do not have to be a slave to your emotions.”

“I am not a slave to anything,” I bit back, although I regretted the sharpness of my words as she flinched. “I do not mean to take my anger out on you. I have always believed that life is simple. I have walked a straight path.”

“Unfortunately, that is never truly the case. Other people make it more complicated, people like Vance. I think it might do you good to think about how you could be happy if you never received what you wanted from Vance. As life moves around us, we have to continually reframe our expectations in order to adjust to our situation. We can’t always keep the same goals and desires. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that. I think the most successful people in the world are the ones who are able to pivot and find new goals, ones that are achievable. It doesn’t do anyone any good to pursue the impossible and have you even thought to yourself how things would change if you did indeed earn Vance’s respect? Would you even want to be their equal after the way they have treated you? What if they asked you to turn your back on your brother, would you be able to do that?”

I looked towards Kull and felt a strong stirring of emotion within my heart. We had come into this world together and asmuch as he could drive me crazy at times, I would never have forsaken him. “Of course not,” I said.

“All I’m saying is think about what you truly want from life and how best to achieve it. The last thing you want is to be unhappy because you’ve given the power of your happiness over to someone else. I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.”

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