Page 86 of Not A Chance

I realized how lucky I felt to be the one who got to see him like this. He was about as far from the polished NHL star who held his own in post-game press conferences and interviews. My heart, recently resuscitated from its frozen state since being with Theo, warmed to the point that it sent tingles along my skin.

I shivered with the sensation. Theo, mistaking my movements for something else, gathered me into his arms, surrounding me in his gloriously warm arms and pressing me toward his chest.

“Cold, baby?” He looked down between us, gaze fixed on my usual thin tank top I wore to bed.

“Mmm. Giz?” I couldn’t articulate my feelings in this moment. It was easier to let him believe I just needed some shared body heat. And I was not complaining about being surrounded by the scent of Theo’s minty bodywash, leftover from his quick shower before bed, and all those rock-hard muscles he earned on and off the ice.

“She’s fast asleep,” Theo assured me.

Despite it being close to 6:00 a.m., a glance at the digital clock on the stove told me I’d been looking through the cupboards for longerthan I thought.

“Let’s get you into a hoodie.” He paused, letting one of his hands drift down to tease the hem of my sleep shorts. “And definitely some pants before my family wakes up. There’s no way my hooligan brothers get to see you like this.” He squeezed my ass cheek possessively.

“Okay, caveman.” I leaned back a bit so I could meet his gaze. “You’re very lucky that—for some unexplainable reason—I find that territorial bullshit extremely hot when it comes out of your mouth.”

He walked me back until my back met the counter before lifting me up to sit in front of the professional-quality coffee machine. Theo brought both hands around to the front of my body and covered the tops of my bare thighs with his fingers spread as far as they could go. He proceeded to dip his thumbs down into the crevice between my pussy and inner thighs. His firm touch swept every inch of skin he could cover with his hands as he moved them down to my knees. Once he had both my knees cradled in his palms, he firmly pushed them apart so that he could step into me, our bodies touching chests to pelvises.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered against my lips.

“Merry Christmas, goalie.” I smiled into his mouth, which barely grazed mine.

“I was thinking, there’s something I’ve been meaning to correct. And now is the perfect time to do it,” he said softly.

My head touched the hard cabinet behind it when I leaned back enough to see his face clearly. I had no idea what he was talking about. Unease bubbled in my stomach.

Where was he going with this? A flash of worry hit me. Was my perfect bubble with Theo about to burst with whatever he was going to say?

“Six years ago, we stood in the kitchen, and you were brave asfuck to sneak down here and wait for me, looking like a goddamn siren in that peach satin. Then you surprised the hell out of me by kissing me.” He brought his hand from my knee to cup the right side of my face in his palm.

My stomach dropped for a whole different reason at his seductive words. The memory of his rejection all those years ago stung a little less with every moment we spent together.

He rubbed his thumb back and forth along my jaw. “I fucking hate that I hurt you that day. I had no idea that you had feelings for me. You have always been beyond beautiful. But I had so many firm lines drawn in my life for what I needed to do to make my hockey goals happen. At twenty-five, I was in the thick of making it to the next level.”

Theo used his other hand to reach up and rub the back of his head, his lips pressed into a small grimace.

“And I was somewhat of an arrogant son of a bitch back then. I’d let the hype of being an up-and-coming star go to my head. I was never a fuckboy. But I admit to liking the attention. It was so easy to let being a hockey star distract me from really dealing with losing Mom.” His Adam’s apple moved with what looked like a tough swallow, like those words were physically painful to say. “You were only nineteen, and I’d always kept you firmly in Emery’s best friend category in my mind…”

“It’s okay. It wasn’t the right time,” I rushed out. It hurt me to see him struggling, and I immediately wanted to ease his discomfort. “You don’t have to…”

“No. I do. Out of everyone, you need to hear this.” His right hand joined his left as he held my face still so that I had no choice but to look at him. “It took me too many years to realize that I was using hockey as an escape from everything here. I’m lucky my brothersand sister are giving me a chance to make things right between us.”

I kept my eyes on Theo’s, wanting him to know I would listen to anything he wanted to tell me.

“I’ve decided I’m going to see someone about what I’ve been dealing with over Mom’s death. You know, like a therapist. Now that we’re together, it’s made me want to live fully. And I can’t do that until I work through all the stuff I’ve been trying to ignore for years.” His gaze slid to the side for a second, perhaps lost in thought, before moving back to mine.

At some point, I’d unconsciously moved my hands to his waist. I gave him a squeeze of reassurance.

“That’s amazing, Theo. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you want to do this for yourself. You’ve already given me so much just by being back in my life,” I whispered.

“I’m not going to let anything distract me from the most fearless, intelligent, and utterly gorgeous woman in front of me this time.” His voice was steady.

“Theo,” I whispered. Where was he going with this?

“I love you, Indie.” His voice was steady and his eyes clear as he looked directly into mine.

I stopped breathing. I was certain. This was how I was going to die. Lack of oxygen from Theo Yao-Miller, my lifelong crush, saying he loved me and I forgot how to breathe in and out.

My mind raced. No one had ever said that to me before. Sure, Emery, Abbie, and I said “love you” as goodbye sometimes. But those three words had never been directed at me with the intention that Theo looked at me with right now.

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