Page 42 of Not A Chance

I gently lifted her chin with the tips of my fingertips. Her lips were slightly swollen from our kisses, and goddamn if I didn’t love that. If anyone paid attention when she left this room, they’d know something had happened. That illicit feeling turned me on way more than I’d been before.

“I’m not asking you for anything right now other than to see you tonight. Can I do that?” I sidestepped her comment about not wanting a relationship. Maybe she thought she wasn’t ready, but I could prove her wrong by showing her how dedicated I was to the idea of us.

I brushed my thumb back and forth across her plush bottom lip, hopefully reminding her of how good what we just did felt.

She licked my thumb, turning the tables on me again.

“Okay,” she whispered, the want back in her eyes.

“Thank you, baby. I’ll see you later.” Relief had my shoulders relaxing.

I couldn’t resist one more short kiss on my way out the door. We both had a game to get ready for, and I didn’t want to give her a chance to change her mind.

Tonight would be the first step in showing her how good we could be together.

Theo Yao-Miler kissed me today. And it was hot as fuck.

My nineteen-year-old self was jumping up and down with joy, singing, “I knew he liked me!” over and over again on repeat in my mind.

It was like a scene from one of those high school love-story movies Abbie and Emery loved. The unrequited crush finally realizes she or he wants the main protagonist, and all of a sudden, there’s this huge dopamine rush happening. That part of me that was left so crushed all those years ago wanted to run through fields of wildflowers and rainbows.

Nineteen-year-old Indie was an idiot.

Luckily, my twenty-five-year-old self could rein that shit in. Hard.

There was no way I was going to let myself fall for Theo again. I had no room in my life for romance, let alone theTitanic-sized baggage that came along with thinking about us in those terms.

Putting aside the question of whether it would be wrong to date my best friend’s brother, years of planning since I’d learned aboutmy inheritance were on the cusp of becoming reality. I couldn’t allow myself to be distracted or swept away in everything Theo. More than that, I couldn’t give my father a reason to make my life harder because I was dating a hockey player after rejecting years of potential suitors from my parents’ social circle after a single date. My father would be pissed if he thought I’d been actively sabotaging his efforts to get me to marry into a worthy family.

I hadn’t spent the last so many years under my parents’ thumb to lose what I worked so hard for. Every time I compromised my values or held my tongue to placate their endless list of demands could be undone if I allowed feelings for Theo out from where I’d locked them away.

I’d had a single-minded focus on making a difference for kids so that they would have somewhere to turn for help. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that as many kids as possible didn’t feel utterly alone like I did because of my parents’ emotional abandonment.

Even surrounded by wealth, I had been trapped without anyone I could ask for help. My parents controlled every facet of my life. Their money meant that even professionals I should have been able to turn to, when I desperately wanted to understand the feelings inside me, could be influenced to keep my parents apprised of anything I might have shared.

The fact remained that I was still stupidly attracted to Theo. I had no idea if he wanted a hookup-type situation or was looking for a relationship. At thirty-one, from what I understood from the media speculation I’d been forced to review as part of writing media releases for the team (head office was very careful about word choice, so information only came out when they wanted it to), this might be his last season. Or not. But the analysts speculated that hewouldn’t stay more than a few more seasons in the NHL, especially since he’d been traded away from what he probably considered his “hometown” team since that was where his Gong Gong had watched all of his games when he’d been alive.

His life was in Vancouver, or I guess Toronto now. It didn’t even matter if I liked it here, which I did; my life was in Amado. My girls were there. My professional and personal aspirations would come to fruition there.

Even with Theo within reach, I just didn’t see how I could have him and make it work.

Unlocking my apartment door, I ignored the jittery feeling running through my veins.

It was like I’d mainlined espresso all day and didn’t have full control over my faculties. My hands trembled as I set down my keys. My smile was a little shaky as I watched Giz tippy tap over to the door from her favorite spot in her new bed, directly next to the heating vent.

After I got her ready to go outside, Gizmo was adorable in her new red puppy parka. She sighed every time I put the matching silly “toque” I’d bought for her bald little head, making me laugh.

I had her out and around the block for a quick potty routine and back up to the apartment in record time.

I was rushing through a shower, shaving all the relevant areas before I even realized what I was doing. Nothing was going to happen—I was just buying myself a few extra minutes of sleep in the morning, that’s all.

I’d barely gotten dry and dressed again before there was a soft knock on my door.

This was it. I was going be clear with Theo. We could be attracted to each other and do nothing about it. People did it all the time. We were both adults who had shown our ability to exercise discipline and restraint to get to where we were in our lives.

I took a deep breath before opening the door to see Theo staring back at me with a Cheshire cat–type grin.

“Hey, baby.” His smooth, deep voice rolled over me like a physical wave. My stomach dropped with anticipation.

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