Page 28 of Not A Chance

Nooooo. It makes you a kind person who’s just a little nervous about taking care of a pet for the first time.

At least she’s not a fish. Remember those goldfish my brothers had growing up? Jesus, thank god Mom had a marine biology degree with all the chemicals and ph balance stuff it took to take care of them. And cleaningthe tank, ewwww. (barf emoji)

Abbie

Whether you admit it or not, you like taking care of things. And Ms. I’m-going-to-run-a-non-profit, you also like helping people, as much as you don’t advertise it.

Indie

So, yes. Idiot and sucker still apply.

Abbie

Keep us posted. You did so well with Mew. Maybe Gizmo can have her own Instagram account? That would be so fun! She could be a pup-fluencer.

Indie

Even “if” I liked that idea, I’d have to check what I’m allowed to post as her foster. I’m going to work on her voluntarily coming close to me first.

Abbie

I’ve planted the seed. You don’t stand a chance with that little fashion-forward canine. No “ifs” required.

Emery

She’s going to love you. Just like we do. (heart emoji)

Indie

Yeah, yeah. Me too.

Despite my flippant words, they knew just how muchthey meant to me, even if I couldn’t say it too often. It was as if the words were locked up in my throat. We’d never said anything like that in my house growing up. I’d never outright said those words to anyone.

Looking back at Gizmo, she had made it halfway across the floor, watching me all the way. I felt my heart lighten a bit at the thought that she was reserved but not petrified.

Just as she was almost within arm’s length of me, a loud thud hit the wall in the hallway just outside my apartment. The bang was followed by a low “fuck,” which could only mean Theo was on the other side of my obviously not thick enough front door.

The noise sent Gizmo scuttling back to her new bed.

Great. As if having Theo across the hall and at work wasn’t problematic enough, he was screwing up my first night as a dog parent.

Theo must be coming back from an extra gym session. There was no game tonight. Otherwise, I’d be at the arena running between the communications team and the media, lining up post-game interviews.

Unless he was on a date.My stomach didn’t like that idea at all.

Usually, I prided myself on my independence and competency to handle anything life could throw at me. When life, however, had literally thrown Theo Yao-Miller into my path, I’d done nothing but duck for cover.

I couldn’t even look at him most of the time. When I had to go into the locker room, I steadfastly kept my eyes from the far-left corner of the room where I knew his locker was.

I’d memorized the team’s schedule and Theo’s physiotherapy and conditioning schedule so that I could avoid being in the elevator or our hallway when he was coming home. I’d been lucky so far that he wasn’t like the majority of the single guys on the team heading to the bars to wind down after home games. And definitely to hook up, if the stories I overhead in the halls of the arena were to be believed.

Under extreme duress, I could admit that I really liked the fact that Theo wasn’t seeing anyone or out hooking up with randoms.

I was long past hoping for anything to happen between us. Wasn’t I? My nineteen-year-old self who thought she was in love with Theo was an idiot. I cringed when I thought of that Christmas morning six years ago. How could something feel so long ago that it felt like it didn’t even happen to you and simultaneously burn with the humiliation of rejection like it was yesterday?

I was usually much better at compartmentalizing than this. I couldn’t stand all these murky feelings inside me. I just wanted to get on with my life, not face my past at work and at home every day.

I felt lonely in a way I believed I’d conquered when I’d come to the conclusion that I wasn’t a priority in my parents’ lives. I was a mere prop to drag out when it suited them, then leave the time-intensive parts to the nanny they’d hired.

---