Page 84 of Not As Advertised

“I didn’t. I asked to take leave, using up my sick days and vacation time. I need time to think about what I wanted to do. There was so much pressure in that room I couldn’t think straight.”

“Of all the patriarchal bullshit! What kind of nerve does this guy have to bring up your relationship with Aiden based on rumors and then to have an official meeting about it without talking to Aiden first? He’s the one in the position of authority here, and if anyone is in the ‘wrong,’ it’s him!” Emery was worked up now.

Once Emery got going, she was hard to rein back in. Holding my hands up in surrender, I tried to get her to understand.

“I know the optics of the whole thing suck. And absolutely, in many situations, this situation could be really bad news. I have to decide the right thing to do. Mostly, it’s about what I can afford. But I don’t want him to lose his job over this. That’s why I offered to take the leave.”

“But still… Does he even deserve your consideration after breaking up with you like that?” Emery looked like she was building up steam again.

“Wait, wait. This is his whole life. He’s put every bit of himself into working for this opportunity for two decades. It’s so important to him to be able to support his mom and sisters if they need him financially. I could never take that from him. Even though it’s awful, I understand why his fear of being financially vulnerable would make him agree to anything Jack Blakley said.”

Emery remained unconvinced.

“Fair point,” Indie agreed. “You make your own decisions. If you want to do it this way, it’s your right.”

“I just can’t stay here right now. Every single thing is going to remind me of Aiden, and I’ll never be able to cope.”

Emery had another suggestion. “Speaking of coping, I’m worried about you taking off when you aren’t feeling okay. Would you consider talking to someone? You could do virtual appointments while you are away. I can give you the name of someone great. I know you tried talking to a couple of counselors in college, but maybe you just weren’t ready then.”

I hesitated before nodding. “You’re right. I wasn’t. And I know I’m in over my head here. If you give me the name, I’ll set something up with the therapist. I have no idea how to untangle any of this. But I know I don’t want to get so low that I can’t function.”

“Good. We don’t want that for you either,” Indie said.

Indie narrowed her eyes. Oh boy, that was the look that said she was about to say something I really wasn’t going to like.

“Ohhhh no…” Emery groaned and fell back onto the bed, thankfully avoiding Mew.

“Why do you have to protect him now? He broke up with you, right? I think you need to be focusing on what’s best for you.” Indie ignored Emery’s dramatics.

“You didn’t hear him on the phone. Or see him the night he got the call from his sister. He loves his family more than anyone I’ve ever seen. For sure he’s not going to change his mind. But even if he did, I don’t want him to resent me later. I’d feel worse about that than making this choice for myself.” I shook my head. It wasn’t that simple.

Even if he’d hurt me so badly I wasn’t sure how I was going to get over it, I didn’t want to hurt him in return.

My relationship with Aiden had been so whirlwind that he had made decisions he never would have before in a short period of time. I loved him enough to not make him have to choose.

Indie was the queen of taking care of the few people she loved. I knew Indie would identify with sacrificing what he wanted to protect his dream.

Emery’s hand shot up in the air from her horizontal position on the bed.

“Yes, Prof. Yao, what do you wish to share with the class?” Indie channeled her British boarding schoolteacher voice, no doubt attempting to bring some lightness into our very heavy conversation.

“I just want to officially go on record that you should talk to Aiden before you go. Even if it’s just to tell him what an asshole we think he is. He should hear that. But also, you know, the work thing.”

Looking down at my lap, I whispered, “I can’t talk to him after he ended things. It hurts too much. I need to get away from this for a while, and maybe with some time and distance, I’ll be able to face him professionally again.”

I felt Emery sit up and put her arm back around my shoulders.

“Okay, Abs, you’re right. We fulfilled the friendship mandate of tough love. But now it’s time to think just about you. There is nothing wrong with taking some time to travel and take amazing pictures. Just promise us you will be safe. And that you have all your medication,” Emery said.

Indie chimed in, “The only thing that could make this more right is if you let me pay for it, and then you could stay in something nicer than two-star hotels.” She visibly shuddered as if I’d find flesh-eating bacteria in my hotel sheets at night.

“Indieeeee…” I sniffed. “I’m going to be fine.”

“You will with the spray can of Lysol and the emergency whistle I’m going to shove in your bag,” she muttered.

Emery chuckled. “Always trying to take care of us, Indie.” She directed her gaze to me, “You are going to have an adventure that’ll probably turn out good and bad. Let’s leave what’s right for Aiden out of this completely. Is taking time away for yourself going to help clear your head?”

I nodded.

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