Page 5 of Not As Advertised

I nodded as if the matter was closed. If only it were that easy. The jagged edges left behind by this messed-up situation felt anything but resolved. Regardless, I needed to push forward.

“Though you haven’t held a senior admin role at Appeal, I was impressed by the dedication you have displayed in your time here. I have no doubt that your exceptional work ethic is the reason you were chosen for this position, and I am confident that you will rise to the challenge of this new role.”

Shit. In an effort to sound unaffected by her presence, I couldn’t help but think my tone came across as overly gruff andimpatient. I felt a pang of sympathy as she curled in on herself, and I couldn’t help but wince at her discomfort.

A quick dip of her chin indicated her understanding once again. I felt for her that this unfortunate coincidence was daunting in a different way than it was to me. Yesterday, she revealed a more open and vulnerable side of herself. It felt a bit cruel to shove that under the rug and pretend indifference to the clear chemistry we’d experienced.

“On your desk, you will find everything you need to get set up. I’ve also emailed you several documents listing specific requirements for your role, a link to my calendar, and a rundown of the information I require you to report to me each morning. Those reports are due by 8:00 a.m. Every day. Without exception. Spend the day getting acquainted with these requirements. I expect your first daily update tomorrow morning.”

Unable to have her in my office a moment longer, I turned my body back toward my computer in dismissal. I received another nod from my new assistant before she got up and left the room, hardly making any noise.

I couldn’t help but let my head fall into my hands as soon as I heard the door close behind her.

You cannot afford to fuck this up. You can’t expect everything to be smooth sailing out of the gate. One woman, who iswaytoo young for you, is not going to derail what you’ve spent the last decade and a half working for, no matter how attractive you find her. Remember the reason you’re here. And it’s not to get laid.

I simply wouldn’t allow myself to be distracted. I just needed to keep a running reminder at the forefront of my mind of what I was here for.

Back at my desk, I surveyed what looked like a color-coded old-school encyclopedia full of materials, courtesy of my new boss. Despite its crazy number of pages, I couldn’t drum up any suitable feelings of procrastination when my mind was still spinning from a full Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde moment in Aiden’s office.

How could he flip a switch like that? Where was the compelling man I’d met in the park? A wall had come down over his eyes, like he’d wiped the connection I’d felt yesterday from his memory. His stoicism and a cold kind of formality replaced what felt like real interest on his part. I was a world-renowned terrible judge of attraction from men (or I would be if I’d ever had the guts to say anything about it aloud).

I was dying to call Linda and beg her to pick someone else for this job. My hand muscles were cramped with the urge to pick up my phone.

The anxiety churning in my stomach was almost unbearable, but being dismissed like that was the final straw. I wanted nothing more than to run home and hide in bed. My books andblankets never judged me. My rescue cat, Mew, always did, but that was his imperative as self-appointed master of the universe.

I was so desperate to leave that the pain of staying seated was unbearable. My instincts were telling me to get away from the discomfort of the situation. Whatever those fear synapses in my brain were called, they were firing on all cylinders.

My bank balance was the only thing that kept me from fixing this huge mistake.

A flood of negative emotions overwhelmed me. Those thoughts now hit a lot more like “truths” than worries.

You completely imagined that connection with him yesterday.

How could you think he was attracted to you?

Flirting? Don’t be naïve.

That debacle of a meeting was completely embarrassing.

So much for your “fake it till you make it” motto.

The barrage of self-doubt held me completely paralyzed. I was supposed to start reading this tome of an EA manual, curated specifically for my role, and I couldn’t even open the cover.

I hated this. I let my head drop forward in defeat. For the millionth time in my life, I lamented the need to constantly fight my brain just to be able to do things that seemed normal for everyone else.

Unable to stay here any longer, I aimed another glance at Aiden’s office to make sure his door was still closed and texted Indie.

Abbie

Listen, I will forgive you for making me grow as a human being if you get coffee with me right NOW.

Indie

I’ll just remind you once again that all I did was give you a *literal* nudge in the right direction. That said, to what do I owe this unexpectedly generous offer? (I accept, by the way).

Abbie

I can’t even type out the dumpster fire that happened this morning. But I need you to tell me that I can get through it.

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