Page 47 of Not As Advertised

“Right.” Abbie eyed me in return. “Because we’re so worried about professionalism right now?”

She opened her eyes wider and lifted both her eyebrows in an expression I thought was maybe her version of a sarcastic question but couldn’t quite pull off. I resisted the urge to laugh again.

There was no getting away from this thing between us.

“No. You’re right,” I said, my tone more serious than her teasing one. “We need to worry about this.”

She remained quiet, seeming to have no cheeky reply to the seriousness of my tone.

I brought my other hand to where our hands were joined, now encapsulating her much smaller hand between both of mine.

“I want to keep seeing you, Abbie,” I admitted. It loosened something inside me that had been previously strung perilously tight to say the words aloud.

“I want that too.” She gave me a bright smile.

Before she could say anything else, I cut in to make sure she understood what I could offer her.

“I want to be clear about the terms of us continuing this.” I didn’t have the right definition for what we’d done so far. “One-night stand” was wrong. This wasn’t a fling either. I felt more for Abbie than for any casual hookup agreement I’d ever had with a woman before.

It was incredibly intoxicating. And horrendously inconvenient.

“By ‘terms,’ do you by any chance have a handy manual for this situation?” She was laughing at me. The little shit. She was never going to let my admin binder go, was she?

“Brat.” I smiled before sobering again. “As much as it makes me sound like an asshole to say it, if we want to keep seeing each other, no one can know. It would destroy us both if it got out now.”

The humor drained from her expression at my words. She let her gaze slip from mine without saying anything. At least she let me continue to hold her hand.

I didn’t want to force the next part, but I owed it to her to be as honest as possible before she agreed to any further risk.

“Even without the company complication, I’m not at the place in my life to offer any woman a proper relationship right now, Abbie. It has nothing to do with you. I just have too much on the line to allow myself the distraction of thinking beyond the present.”

“I understand.” Her gaze returned to mine when she spoke. She’d been staring into space while I spoke.

“I don’t want to assume anything about what you want. But I can’t afford any confusion. All I can promise is that we can spend time together, and no one can find out about it.”

Now she pulled her hand from where it was sandwiched between mine. Giving my hands a quick pat, she brought herfingers to her mouth to worry her bottom lip. I fell under the spell of watching her pinch the flesh reddened from my kisses between her index finger and thumb. I wanted to pull her hand away and nip that spot instead.

Clearly pausing to think about what she wanted to say, I waited as patiently as I could. I knew what I was offering her wasn’t fair, but I didn’t know what she’d decide.

“Can I think about it?”

Maybe I had been more confident that she would agree because I found myself surprised, but not upset, that she would ask for time to consider her options.

She was right to take her time. Even if we called this casual, the consequences, if anyone found out, would be anything but.

“Of course.” I couldn’t stop the hint of formality that slipped into my voice. There was a small part of me that stung with her response, making me aware that I wasn’t as invulnerable to hurt where Abbie was concerned.

“It’s…” she began.

I stood, offering her my hand. She took it and rose, so we stood together.

“Seriously. You have nothing to explain. It will be good for both of us to cool down a little bit.”

Abbie stepped forward and put her arms around my waist. I realized that I had never held her just to give her a hug before. I wrapped my arms around her in return, letting out a deep breath.

“No matter what. We’ll be okay,” I forced out.

Abbie didn’t say anything in answer to my weak attempt at reassurance. I couldn’t guarantee we would be okay regardless of what she decided.

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