Page 45 of Back On Ice

She lets out a small nervous laugh and glances around the room. “What are you doing?”

“Do you want to get out of here?” I’m sure I’m drawing stares from other patrons of the restaurant, but my gaze is firmly on Sophie.

Her shoulders relax as she finally takes my hand. That bright smile is lighting her face again as she stands up. “Hell, yeah.”

Chapter Nineteen

CARTER

The lake is beautiful tonight.After we ditched The Elysian Table and came back to Ivy Glen, we picked up a couple of to-go orders from Sal’s, took the truck to Ivy Glen Lake, and backed the truck in so the bed is facing the water. I’m glad I had the foresight to put some blankets in the storage container in the back of the truck because this April night is a little chilly. Now, we both have blankets wrapped around our shoulders, and one spread out in the bed. Our feet are dangling off the tailgate, and we’re eating the best damn burgers in Massachusetts.

“So… what’s it like?” she asks, continuing the conversation we’re having, “playing hockey professionally. It was your dream.”

I watch the reflection of the moon in the lake as I think about the question.

How do I tell her that the first few years are a blur because Dad was always threatening Mom and up in my ass about money? How the stress of it overrode any good memories I have?

“It… I’m not going to lie. Once the thrill of joining the NHL wore off, it quickly turned into… a job. It should have been more than that, it should have been everything, you know? Dad, well he… he had turned it into something so toxic, I forgot to love the sport. It was always about the next payday for him, the threat to Mom was always there, and I never got the chance to just… enjoy my reality.”

She shifts a little closer to me so our thighs are pressed together and my heart rate picks up. “Now it’s your choice. Do you know what team you want to sign with yet? I’m sure you have your pick.” She turns her head to face me, her eyes shining with warmth.

“I don’t know yet. Jake and I have talked about trying to get on the same team, and that might limit our options. In the end, I’ll be happy just to get to play with him again, no matter what team we’re on.”

Just like that, I can see the walls building back up behind her eyes. She’s telling herself to not get attached. Reminding herself that I’ll be leaving as soon as hockey season starts. Shit. I have to slide in there and remind her that it doesn’thaveto end when the season starts. That we could make something work.

“What I do know, though…” my hand slides over hers, intertwining our fingers, “is that I will do everything I can to stay close to home.” The words are quiet, but I hope she can tell how much I mean them. At this point, is hockey worth a life without her in it?

Her hand, while calloused from all her hard work, is soft compared to mine. Holding it brings me back to the days when she knew exactly how much she meant to me, before I fucked everything up. I hope she’ll let me make it right again.

She smiles at the water before facing me again. “Yeah?”

My smile grows to match hers. “Yeah.”

We say nothing, staring into each other's eyes. I could get lost in those pools of honey forever. Her cheeks tinge pink before she looks back out over the water, breaking our stare.

When her head tilts slightly and rests against my shoulder, it’s like… shit. It’s almost like Ihaveher again. Like there’s been a knot in my chest and this one act of vulnerability from her loosens it just a little.

There’s still so much I don’t know about her, though. I want… no, Ineedto know everything I missed when it comes to Sophie Hartwell.

“Soph?” I ask quietly, not wanting her to move from her spot on my shoulder.

“Yeah, Cart?”

“Tell me aboutyou.I used to know you so well, and not knowing what you’ve been doing the last nine years feels like… like I’m missing a part of myself somehow.”

She sighs against me. “Well, you know I help take care of Jordan. And that I help with the flower shop and manage the Twin Rinks…”

“Yeah, okay, but….” I take a deep breath and turn to face her, making her move her head from my shoulder as much as I want to stay just like that. Forever. “Is there anything you really enjoy doing? Like, if your parent’s flower shop ran perfectly and business was booming, and the rec center was saved and everyone was taken care of… what would you want to do?”

She runs her teeth over her bottom lip and shrugs. “I like helping. Taking care of people in the town. It makes me happy.”

I can see in her eyes that she means it. She wants to take care of everyone else, but what about her? There’s nobody here to take care of Sophie while she runs herself into the ground, worrying about everyone else.

And it’s my fault. I should have been with her. But maybe… maybe I can make it right—at least for tonight. She needs to getout of her own head. To not have room for anything else in that brilliant brain of hers except for the pleasure I can bring her.

“You’re looking after the ones you love… will you let me take care of you, Angel?” I murmur, unable to help myself as I reach and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

Her sharp intake of breath and glance down to my mouth is all the invitation I need. My lips brush hers gently, and she melts into my touch.

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