Page 76 of Here Comes Santa Paws

My face splitin a wide yawn as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I must’ve dozed off again, but Carol’s whine woke me from the light sleep. It had been alongnight, but I was relieved Carol had let me stay in the room with her. The camera setup was nice, but I was anxious she might need the vet, so I wanted to keep her in my sight.

I tapped my phone screen and saw it was after four a.m.

I lifted myself to a seated position and studied Carol in the low light from the lamp I’d brought in from my bedroom last night. She lay in the whelping box I’d brought over from the shelter and was licking herself.

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart. I know it’s uncomfortable,” I whispered. I had no idea whether my voice was soothing or irritating, so I spoke quietly to split the difference.

After stretching as subtly as possible, I grabbed my phone again to check my notifications. Still nothing from Roman. I frowned. He’d replied to my text when I’d told him things were moving, but I hadn’t heard anything since. He was probably asleep. Though it did sting a bit that his phone had been offwhen I tried calling late last night. Or set to Do Not Disturb or whatever.Brain, quit being a mopey bitch.

Out of habit, I navigated to my work email to make sure there were no crises. My mouth fell open as I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled through automated emails indicating new donations to our construction fund. There had to be at least a few dozen of them. Even if they were five bucks each, it would help.

As my brain grew more alert, I paused in my scrolling and reread a subject line that caught my eye. It couldn’t be. I reread it several times.Emergency grant funding application approved.

Approved.

I closed my eyes, let my head fall against the wall, and smiled. We would be okay. Construction was going great with no expensive surprises, things were finally progressing with the insurance company, and now this. I couldn’t think of a better way to start Christmas Eve.Sure you can. It would be a lot better if Roman were here.

I pushed that thought away because the only thing it would do was bum me out. Unfortunately, given the early hour, I couldn’t even distract myself by calling someone to celebrate. Instead, I focused on the shelter and how we’d get the building repaired without resorting to worst-case scenarios.

Carol whimpered, so I scooched closer to her while murmuring soothing words. Hopefully soothing, at least. I moved slowly and searched for any indication I was adding stress, but I didn’t notice anything significant. She watched me, panting, and reached her front paw toward me.

“You’re so strong. You’ve got this.” I gently rubbed her back. Shadows shifted under the bedroom door from my dogs holding vigil on the other side. I hadn’t heard a bark from them in hours. I was so grateful they were being quiet. They could probably sense something was happening.

“I promise we’ll find a good home for you.” She stared up at me with her dark, scared eyes.

With each second that passed with our eyes locked on each other, a decision formed in my mind. If Roman decided not to adopt her, I would. She’d been getting along with my animals, and I could probably find a larger place for us. It would be hard to stay in the duplex anyway, given all the memories attached.

“What do you think, girl? Would you want to move in with me and all the loud monsters here?”

She didn’t bury her nose under her paw or look away, so I took it as a win.

As I watched her, I wished there was more I could do to ease her discomfort. Once again, my thoughts returned to Roman. She would probably be more at ease with him here, but we both needed to get used to him being gone.

The pain swelled inside my chest, pushing out all the air. I never expected anything to come of hanging out with Roman beyond some fun, but the more time we’d spent together, a part of me—a large part—had wanted more.

“No one hurts us worse than we can hurt ourselves,” I muttered.

Rubbing Carol’s back was meditative as I leaned into feeling my feelings about Roman. We had something special—that was obvious. I’d gone on enough dates over the years to know when something was different. How could I throw it away? Why would I? If Gramps could open himself to Nancy, why couldn’t I do the same with Roman? It might not work out, but I shouldn’t let the distance stop us. There was something there, and I wanted to explore it if he did too.

What if he doesn’t?

If that was the case, then I would move on. But if he was on board, then it was time to focus on my happiness. I’d spent mylife trying to repay Gramps for taking me in. My happiness might be in Arizona. There had to be shelters in Tucson looking to hire.

I needed to have a serious conversation with Roman when he returned after the holiday.

Carol panted as I placed my hand on her hardened abdomen. Her contractions had begun.Here we go.

I hummed songs that I hoped were soothing to Carol as my phone chimed with a notification from my doorbell camera. When I swiped the notification, I saw a familiar figure outside my front door.

Roman.

I tried to suppress my hope, but it was like trying to capture smoke in my fingers.

“Your dad’s back early.” Carol licked my hand.

ROMAN

I tried knocking gently on Elias’s door. I didn’t want to ring the doorbell and risk disturbing Carol, but damn, I wanted to see them both. I’d even missed his furry monsters.

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